


S for Selwyn

by AnadoraBlack



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Death-Eaters, F/M, Toying with the Sacred Twenty-Eight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-14 18:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 54,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28675014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnadoraBlack/pseuds/AnadoraBlack
Summary: Selene Selwyn's life could have been much quieter if a certain Sirius Black hadn't barged into it on her first day of school. And now, years later, she is forced by the Ministry to track down the only friend she ever had... Great.
Relationships: Remus Lupin/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black & Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 38





	1. Seriously annoying

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! I seem to be unable to stay away from the Wizarding World for too long... Once again, Remus called for me and asked that I create him a wife. So Selene Selwyn was born. It is the first time that I write a Slytherin character, but I think I did relatively well, considering I'm a Puff.  
> This story is mostly written, and I hope you will like it! Enjoy the first two chapters! :D

**_2 nd August 1993. Ministry of Magic._ **

* * *

“ _Selwyn!_ ”

Selene sighed, letting her feet drop from her desk just as the door to her small office slammed open. Frances Bowen, her direct superior, strode in, blonde bun perfectly in place on top of her head, a scowl on her lips as she assessed the enclosed room. Her dirty blue eyes fell to a pin-board covered in pointless Quidditch posters; to a desk covered in dusty papers; to an old and faded Slytherin scarf hiding what might have once been a potted plant; and then, lastly, to the witch facing her.

“You may want to clean this room up one day, Selwyn.”

“I’m not a House Elf,” answered the dark-haired woman as she straightened the hem of her pale green dress. She had voluntarily looked down and adopted a neutral tone of voice so as to hide the contempt she felt for her boss. Although, if she had anything to do with it, Frances Bowen wouldn’t be her boss for much longer… “Anything you wanted to tell me, ma’am?”

“Yes,” Bowen almost hissed, lips pursed. “The Minister has called everybody in for an urgent meeting. And when I say everybody, I mean everybody.”

 _That_ caught Selene’s attention. If Fudge was summoning every single one of his employees, even Magical Maintenance, then it meant something important had happened.

And something important would be better than doing nothing and getting bored.

“Lead the way,” she answered, and Bowen huffed her way out of the office, going to raise the ‘alarm’ all along the corridor.

* * *

The trip from the Improper Use of Magic Office to the Atrium took only about ten minutes, and Selene soon found herself crammed in the lift along with Bowen, a couple other colleagues she couldn’t care to name, and Mafalda Hopkirk, Bowen’s fellow Assistant Head of Office.

The Atrium was filling up as they arrived, most Aurors already being there and chatting away, looking down on everyone as if they were more important.

Selene walked towards the fountain, thinking about taking a seat on the edge of the basin and remaining far from useless gossip, when she heard the drawling voice of one of her least favourite people in the world.

“Selene, what a pleasure to see you up here.”

She turned her dark eyes to where Lucius Malfoy approached, regal, almost, in the way he held himself, snake-headed cane in hand. She pursed her lips. “Lucius. Always where there’s entertainment to be had, I see.”

“Of course,” he countered with one of his infamously infuriating smirks. “Wouldn’t you want to know what this is all about?”

“I’m sure I won’t have much longer to wait, thank you.” She turned away from the prat, promptly dismissing him and his pointless conversation. True, as any Slytherin, she revelled in information, and would have killed to know before everybody else. But owing Lucius Malfoy for it? Never in a _million_ years!

* * *

She’d sat down and managed to fend off anyone who tried to sit close to her with a hiss – that always worked – when finally, Cornelius Fudge appeared on a small stage, flanked by Head Auror Rufus Scrimgeour, and of course Malfoy.

After he’d cast a _Sonorus_ charm and the chatter in the Atrium had died down, he cleared his throat and started his mysterious announcement.

“My dear, dear colleagues. It is with great regret that I have to inform you all that a dangerous wizard has escaped the prison of Azkaban. Some of you may remember his name. Mass-murderer and one of You-know-Who’s most loyal followers: Sirius Black.”

Amidst rumours, growls and even screams of terror, Selene could only gape helplessly as, behind the Minister, an immense banner was let down, a massive ‘Have you seen this wizard?’ poster being replicated for all to see.

For the first time in twelve years, she watched her cousin’s face contort in anger, and she could do little less than say “Well, shit.”


	2. Slytherin for sure

**_1972-1973. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

“And don’t try to sit next to me and my friends!”

Selene nodded somewhat sheepishly, waiting for her older brother Aurus to turn his back to make a rude grimace. Then, she picked up her trunk, and went in search for an empty compartment.

Her first Hogwarts Express trip, and her moron of a brother wouldn’t even be bothered to give her a sense of comfort. Oh, well. It wasn’t really a surprise.

When she finally found a box that was relatively less populated than the others, she knocked on the glass. Inside, three girls – all in civilian clothes, undetermined in their age or possible Houses – turned their heads as one, watching her as she asked if she could sit with them.

One nodded before turning back to her friends, and Selene rolled her eyes, pushing her trunk over her head before sitting down. Picking up a book on Potions, she alternated between eavesdropping on the girls’ conversation – but it was really uninteresting, apart from the fact that they were all Second Year Ravenclaws – and looking through the compartment door to catch sight of other students in the hallway.

Information was power. She’d been taught that from a young age, and she’d be damned if she wasn’t good at gathering it.

* * *

 _Slytherin._ Unsurprisingly.

Even as she sat down among other green-and-silver clad students, Selene let it dawn on her: she’d been Sorted in the Cunning House. Which all her family members had once been a part of.

Why wasn’t she therefore more elated?

Right. Perhaps because nobody seemed to care either around her. Unlike the Gryffindors who, as expected, made a feast of each eleven-year-old who joined their table.

* * *

“Hey, Selwyn!”

The jet-black-haired girl didn’t bother turning around, and straightened the heavy volume she was carrying around.

“Hey, slow down!” shouted the same person, and despite her obvious avoidance, a boy pushed in front of her, making her stop as he stood in her way.

He was taller than her, although not by much, and had longish brown hair and grey eyes. Grey eyes that were a trademark she had not inherited, and had her mother to thank for it.

“I’m Sirius. Black. Your cousin,” the boy said with a huge grin before outstretching a hand for her to shake.

She stared at it a moment, then back up at the red and golden tie he wore – badly knotted, even – and finally, met his eyes. “And?”

His grin didn’t falter, but he let his hand drop. “I thought I’d introduce myself, you know. We haven’t met yet, so I thought…” he cut short, chuckling as if something was funny. “Why have we never met?”

Selene narrowed her eyes. “Your mum doesn’t like mine.”

Sirius barked out a laugh then, one that surprised her. Several students that were passing by looked their way to see what the fuss was about, and a few Slytherins huffed when they saw the Gryffindors’ only Black resident.

“Well, this was pleasant, but I need to go.”

“Wait!” He stopped laughing, but didn’t stop smiling. “If you ever get bored of the snakes down there, don’t hesitate to come seek me out.”

“And why would I be _seeking you out_ , Black?” she almost hissed.

He leaned in, smile turning into a mischievous smirk. “Because you don’t seem like the usual crazy Black bunch.” He winked, and sauntered off.

* * *

Sirius and Selene were only distant cousins. His maternal grandfather and her paternal grandmother had been siblings. While Cassiopeia Black married Antonius Selwyn, Pollux Black married Irma Crabbe. And while Janus Selwyn married Daphne Travers, Walburga Black married Orion Black. And there they were.

They had never met before, and the reason was simple: Walburga hated Daphne with a passion. She was the daughter of a successful Auror, a war hero, Torquil Travers; she had an ear with the Minister for Magic; and she was, to be fair, quite pretty. And so, early on, the cousins stopped socializing, to the point where their children never even met.

Aurus had told his family, the previous year, that Walburga’s eldest had shamed his family by being Sorted in Gryffindor, which had resulted in quite a funny evening where Selene’s parents had pointed out the crone’s hypocrisy.

Of course, Aurus and Selene knew everything about their distant relatives. One of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black’s magical family trees took a whole wall of Janus’ study, and his children had had to recite it by heart from infancy.

All that crap about Blood Purity didn’t interest the dark-haired girl at all, when she’d have rather heard more stories about Grand-Papa Travers and his war deeds; but her father’s study of their tree had a purpose: finding suitable matches for his children.

Thankfully for her, at eleven, she was still too young to be betrothed to anyone. But Aurus was turning seventeen, and apparently, their parents were seriously considering the eldest Goyle girl, an Antonia who had the reputation of being a complete…well, dim-witted girl. Which would suit the purpose of an obedient wife quite well, of course…

* * *

“S!”

Selene sighed, placing her head upon the open book she’d been trying to study for the past hour. Soon, the vacant seat next to her was invaded by her infuriating cousin, and facing them sat the rest of Sirius’ gang of idiots: James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew.

Whenever he was in her vicinity, Pettigrew blushed to the roots of his hair, which she liked to mock any occasion she got.

“What?” she spat in the vague direction of her kin. “Can’t you see I’m trying to study here?”

“You’re eleven, what do you care?” he answered with a smirk before he draped an arm around her shoulders. “Listen, S, it’s come to our attention that you are…lacking…friends.”

She snorted. That was the understatement of the year. It was February, and she had literally zero friends. Not that she minded, which is why she answered “Friends are a liability.”

“And why is that?” asked Potter, mirroring his pal’s smirk.

“Because,” she hissed, pushing her cousin’s arm off of her, “having friends means sharing secrets. And once you’ve shared secrets, they can use them against you.”

“Spoken like a true Slytherin,” Sirius chuckled. “But, see, we aren’t snakes, darling, and we wouldn’t dream of divulging any secret of yours.”

“Yeah, no, Sirius, thank you but no, thank you.” She made to stand, but he just pushed on her shoulders to keep her seated. Which angered her, of course. “One of these days, I’m going to hex you.”

“Please do,” he answered as if he was serious about it. “S, truly though, I worry about you. Isn’t it lonely up here all the time?”

“No. I study. I get the best grades in my year. I brag about it. I like that.”

“You sound like Remus,” James sighed. The sandy-brown-haired boy next to him chuckled a bit, making Selene glare his way.

“Leave me be, honestly. I don’t need friends. And I wouldn’t let Gryffindors close to me, not even to lick my boots.” If she realised the hypocrisy of her words, considering she was currently surrounded by Gryffindors and hadn’t seemed really repulsed by it, she didn’t show it. This time she managed to stand, and stomped away angrily.

“I like that cousin of yours, Sirius,” she heard Potter say with a whistle.

Sirius chuckled again, and shouted, so she could hear from the library’s door, “You know what? Me too!”


	3. Regulus

**_1973-1974. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

Selene’s summer had been unbearable. She could still cringe about it all, weeks after the whole shebang was over.

Aurus had gotten very good grades for his N.E.W.T.s, earning himself a grand prize in the form of a pompous speech from Father and the announcement of his hire at the Ministry for Magic, in the Department of Magical Law and Enforcement. Soon after, they’d announced his engagement to Antonia Goyle.

All summer, Selene had had to suffer through endless speeches about her brother’s talents, manners and impeccable tastes in women, schooling her features into a look of interest even if she wanted nothing more than to sneer.

Her relationship with her brother had always been a strenuous one. He’d been six years old when she was born, and had had plenty of time to get used to being an only child. His name contributed to the sense of importance that he always carried with him; ‘Aurus’ was a variation of the Latin word for ‘gold’. She, on the other hand, was named after the Greek goddess of the Moon, pale and dark-haired and eyed.

Her mother had tried to cheer her up, asking about her first year at Hogwarts, enquiring about friends, teachers, interests, subjects; but she soon grew tired of it, and Janus’ incessant putting of Aurus on a pedestal finished to ruin Selene’s summer.

She’d received one letter, apart from the one concerning her new books and such. She’d been rather surprised to receive anything at all; had scowled when she’d read the signature, and had put the letter aside, hidden in a book, for weeks, until she finally decided to at least _see_ what Sirius had dared write her about.

The git was wondering how she had been doing so far; telling her that he was bored within an inch of his life; and recalling the quite entertaining prank he’d pulled on his family’s House Elf, aptly named Kreacher.

Strangely enough, her ‘cousin’s’ letter cheered her up enough that she answered it, explaining how she was equally bored, and had had to survive through weeks of speeches and parties which only purpose had been to show Aurus off.

He hadn’t answered, and she hadn’t wanted him to. It was already too weird, and shameful, to have enjoyed writing to him _once_. He was a Gryffindor, after all.

* * *

On the 1st September, she boarded the Hogwarts Express with a contented smile on her face. No older brother to survey her and look down on her; no parents to bore her to death; books; gossip; and…

“Hi,” a somewhat familiar voice called from behind her as she looked for a compartment. When she turned around, she was tempted to call the boy ‘Sirius’, but despite the obvious resemblance, this was not Sirius Black.

The same dark-brown unkempt hair, though shorter than his sibling’s; the same grey eyes and the exact same dimple on his chin. The only differences she could see so far were height, and lack of mischievous smile. “Hello.”

They stared at each other for a while, assessing each other and the possible outcome of this strange meeting, until he relented and bowed the head slightly. “I’m Regulus. Black. Your cousin.”

Selene almost laughed at the parroted words, for Sirius had introduced himself with the exact same ones the previous year. Instead, she schooled her features, and lifted her chin. “I’m Selene.”

“I know. That’s why I introduced myself.”

Sassy. Selene’s eyes widened. This was interesting. “Looking for a box?”

“No.” He didn’t say anything more, saluted her, and whirled on his heels, going back towards wherever it was he had come from.

When she sat down among Fourth Year Hufflepuffs and tried not to roll their eyes at their silly Badger antics, Selene wondered what that meeting had been all about…

* * *

Selene’s Second Year was very similar to her First. Sirius accosted her as soon as they were out of the Great Hall, and told her with grand hand gestures what he thought about her family’s treatment of her during the summer. She watched him, a sneer on her lips even though she was quite entertained. Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew hovered nearby, as they always did, and earned themselves the finger. Potter laughed out loud, and the other two smiled. Bugger.

She spent more and more time in the library than ever, having realised that despite her brother’s absence, she was still less than appreciated in Slytherin’s common room. Many wondered why she refrained from hexing the Black git whenever he came to talk to her; and didn’t understand the concept of ‘not losing House points for an idiot’. Or the concept of ‘I rather like him, shameful as it is’. Not that she’d ever admit that last thought.

In fact, the only difference was Regulus. The Blacks’ youngest son had joined Slytherin, as had been expected, and welcomed into the green-and-silver House with many a cheer, and a smirk towards the Gryffindor table. He was clever, quiet, and awfully observant.

Selene often caught him watching her, sat at one of the library’s tables, until, sometime during November, she snapped, and went to see exactly what the fuss was about.

“Got a problem with me, Black?”

He stared at her blankly, grey eyes calculating in a way his older brother’s weren’t. “Sit down, Selwyn; you’re going to make a fool of yourself.”

She quickly glanced around, and indeed, a few students were watching them, wondering, no doubt, why she’d raised her voice in a place of work. Before Madam Pince could come and snarl at her, she did sit down, and crossed her arms. “So?”

Regulus stared at her still, then looked at his book, suddenly flustered for an unknown reason. “How is Sirius?”

Selene’s dark eyes widened the size of saucers. “You’ve been staring at me like a creep for the past weeks just so you could know how your damned brother was doing?” He raised his gaze to hers once more, lips pursed this time. She carried on before he had a chance to answer. “Why can’t you go and ask him yourself?”

He huffed. “He shamed the family.”

“And so, no one is allowed to talk to him. I see. Then why did you ask _me_?”

He tilted his head to the side. “He’s fond of you.”

“ _Fond of me?_ ” she parroted, chuckling darkly. “Where did you get that notion from, your imagination?”

“The letter he wrote you last summer.”

Selene’s eyes narrowed, this time. He kept staring at her, calmly, coolly. “What letter?”

“He waited a long time to send it. He didn’t want our parents to intercept it. It gave me enough time to find and read it.”

“Is it a habit of yours to snoop through Sirius’ things?”

“I’m a Slytherin, Selene.”

Her severe posture relaxed a bit. She _liked_ Regulus. He had a pleasant personality, opposite to that of his brother’s in ways that completed Sirius’ brash behaviour. Not that she spent enough time with him to know what the eldest Black boy was like. She just…..observed a lot.

She paused a moment more, then smirked. “He was alright the last time he cornered me. Last Monday. My hip is still bruised; he pushed me into a desk to stop me from leaving the Transfiguration classroom.

Regulus’ lips twitched, as if he wanted to smile. “He _really_ likes you.”

“I hope you’re not implying what I think you’re implying.” Her eyes darkened, if it was possible at all. The idea of anyone _fancying_ her, worst of all _Sirius Black_ , made her want to puke.

“I’m not implying what you think I’m implying. He likes you, that’s all.” His eyes went to above her shoulder, and suddenly, he was in a much sombre mood. “I have to go. Don’t let anyone know we’ve talked.”

“Why not?” she asked before he stood from his chair, gathering his books.

“Having friends is a liability, right?” He smirked, and left. As Selene glanced back at him, realising that he’d left because Montague – a Fourth Year Slytherin who was just a proper moron and a former minion of Aurus’ – had come to fetch him for whatever reason, she wondered if he had a knowledge of the words she’d told Sirius in her First Year, or if he just mirrored her sentiment.

Whatever it was, one thing was for sure: she was cursed with having two possible friends in her life: two Black idiots; one doomed to shame his entire family – his haircut was enough as it was to warrant wiping him off the family tree, in her humble opinion – the other doomed to suffer each of his brother’s misdeeds.

Without really understanding why, Selene quite liked the idea…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the early notes, kudos and review! I honestly didn't expect this this early! :)


	4. The ruse

**_August 1993. London._ **

* * *

Selene wasn’t overly surprised to find her brother Aurus sitting on her sofa when she got home that night.

After the Minister’s announcement, all the Aurors were sent on various errands to try and locate the escapee, while other employees were sent back to their current work unless stated otherwise. In the lift, Bowen had taken her time moaning about the amount of paperwork she still had to compile, and how much time she’d lost by going down to the Atrium at all. Selene had been pissed.

She’d spent the remainder of her day sulking in her office, cursing the name of Black and being reminded of several very agreeable moments she’d shared with ‘mass-murderer Sirius Black’. Of course, she knew it’d do little good to dwell on those memories, but she couldn’t stop herself.

How did they expect _her_ , Selene Selwyn, daughter and sister of eminent Death-Eaters, cousin of former Auror Sirius Black, to believe that he’d gone to the Dark Lord and switched allegiances? Were they as stupid as they looked?

So, when she got home, she wasn’t really surprised to see her brother. She knew he’d come, at one point or other. She’d made a show of wearing her engagement ring on her finger, and of placing a fake make-up Charm on her eyes so that they appeared puffy. One was never too careful when it came to Aurus and his scheming.

“Dear sister, come and sit with me,” was Aurus’ greeting. He always acted as if he owned the place. Which he did, in a manner of speaking. Their father had given her the small London flat. Ever since his death, Aurus was more than in his right to shove her out into the cold.

Selene did as he asked, but made sure that she sat as far from him as possible. “Aurus,” she greeted, coldly. She snapped her fingers and a House-Elf by the name of Minty appeared with tea.

“I’m sure you’ve heard, by now. You were at the announcement, weren’t you?”

“I was. Were you not?”

“I was _very busy_. The Minister needed his Aurors to be ready to leave as soon as possible.” His smile was shark-like. “To try and apprehend the culprit. To make him _suffer_.” He was trying to taunt her, she knew. So she didn’t show anything.

“And? Did you find anything interesting? Have you found how he’s escaped in the first place?”

Aurus’ face turned red for a moment. “Don’t play coy, sister. You know why I am here.”

Selene smirked. “Do you think I’m harbouring a criminal under my roof, brother?” She stood, opening her arms wide. “Do go on. Do search the place. You won’t find him here.”

Aurus stood too, and got in her face, snarling. “Listen here, you little trollop. I know you and that _disgrace of a man_ were close. I know you know where he’s hiding. And you’re going to tell me.”

“I know nothing of what you are saying, Aurus dear. The only Black I ever was close to was Regulus who, if I need to remind you, I was engaged to. I know nothing of Sirius, shameful bastard that he is, and I certainly don’t know where he is now.”

The look in her brother’s eyes could have killed her on sight. “I swear to Salazar, Selene, if you _dare_ lie to me...”

“Why don’t you use Legilimency on me, then? Oh, yes,” she snarled, “that’s because you’re rubbish at it.” She paused, took a pace back, and glared at him. “I don’t know where Sirius Black is. If I did, he’d be dead.”

Aurus stepped back too, but he was still seething. “I hope for your sake that you are not lying. I wouldn’t be pleased otherwise.” The latent threat didn’t scare her anymore. She’d grown out of fearing him. “I’ll be back, sister.” And before he strode out of the door, he added, with a cruel smile, “Antonin says hi.”

Selene squeezed her eyes shut as soon as he’d gone, and fidgeted with her engagement ring.

If she _did_ find Sirius, he’d have a lot to answer for…

* * *

**_1974-1975. Hogwarts._ **

Selene’s Third Year was by far the best she had experienced so far. She was starting to study increasingly interesting subjects in Charms, Potions and Transfiguration; she was top of her class in Duelling; and she had friends for the first time in her life.

Granted, she couldn’t very well display her friendships out in the open, especially when the ghost of her brother dearest breathed down her neck. Montague, in particular, seemed keen on catching her talking to someone she shouldn’t.

All summer, she’d written back and forth to two Black sons she was liking more and more by the minute. Regulus, her parents knew about and somehow approved of. He was a true Slytherin, and did his own parents proud, which Janus Selwyn was appreciative of. Sirius, on the other hand, was a total secret. If anyone had known that she wrote to the disgraced Gryffindor Pureblood, she’d have been in big trouble, she knew. But she couldn’t help herself: for as much as he was a git, Sirius Black was a funny git. And she needed funny in her life.

Regulus was spending a lot of time in the library with her, and when they were not studying, they were passing notes, asking how the other was doing, and what was going on at home.

One day, in October, Selene shared the contents of a letter she’d received from her mother the same morning.

‘ _They want me to get married,_ ’ she wrote, and Regulus’ brow furrowed.

‘ _You’re thirteen._’

‘ _They don’t care._ ’

‘ _Who?_ ’

‘ _Mother says they are hesitating between another Goyle or a Lestrange._ ’ She grimaced. The mere thought of being married to anyone made her skin crawl. She was thirteen, and thirteen-year-olds rarely longed for married life. Not if they were called Selene Selwyn, anyway…

Regulus seemed to ponder, staring at her intently, as if he was trying to get inside her head for a moment, then he scribbled something. He changed his mind halfway, erased what he’d written, then did the same twice more before passing her the note back.

‘ _We could get engaged. You and I. Two Purebloods. They wouldn’t be against it. And we could marry someone we actually like spending time with. Without having to…actually be married._ ’

Selene stared at the words blankly, then back into his face. This time, she was the one to try and get inside his mind. His offer was a surprising one, but his logic was sound. It served both their purposes to enter a betrothal. They’d get to choose their life-partner, and that was a luxury most people, including their parents, didn’t have.

At long last, she wrote back ‘ _Agreed. I’ll speak to my Mother about it. She’ll know how to convince Father of the advantage of the match._ ’

Regulus nodded back with a small smile, and that was the end of it.

Selene had gotten herself engaged at thirteen. To her somewhat cousin and friend. Via notes in the library. Could have been far worse…

* * *

**_August 1993. Somewhere in Dorset._ **

In the safety of her house, Selene let her mask slip. She grabbed a frame on her bookshelf, stared at it and cradled it to her chest as she went to sit on an armchair.

In the picture, a group of people laughed and waved. She’d retrieved the item when, more than a year prior, Rubeus Hagrid had dared write her a letter enquiring about photographs she’d have had in her possession. Photographs of James and Lily Potter.

How he’d known she’d have some, she didn’t know. But, of course, she answered back that she didn’t have any. She couldn’t trust anyone with the knowledge that, once upon a time, she had been close to the Boy-who-Lived’s parents. She’d kept the photos, and framed one she’d found at the bottom of a trunk. It was now one of her most prized possessions.

It showed James and Lily on the day of their wedding, during their first dance. James was whirling Lily around, and both were laughing their heads off, while, around them, stood their friends, similar goofy smiles on their faces.

On the left, Selene could see herself in the disguise she’d worn that day, Sirius’ arm around her shoulders as she gave one of her rare genuine smiles and clapped. Sirius’ smile was as wide as the ocean and he was cheering.

On the right, were Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. Peter was clapping also, swaying in time with the silent tune. Remus was smiling too, and when his gaze went to the camera, and to her, his gaze turned soft. She was reminded of what had happened a few hours after this picture was taken, and a wistful sigh passed her lips.

Selene put the frame back onto the bookshelf, and fell back into the armchair, tears springing to her eyes.

How a life so happy and simple could have possibly gone to hell in a matter of weeks was beyond her… But one thing was for certain: she’d never been as happy as she had been at the Potters’ wedding…


	5. Remus

**_1975-1976. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

Selene and Regulus’ parents took their sweet time approving their betrothal. After several formal meetings and a few drafts of a marriage contract, though, they had announced that they found the idea ‘sensible and in agreement with both families’ values. For once in her life, Selene had a party thrown in _her_ honour during the summer. Having to hold Regulus’ hand through the evening was just a minor setback.

She’d been ecstatic to see the enraged look on Aurus’ face when the betrothal was agreed upon. She had her suspicions that her brother wanted her to live as miserable a life as possible.

Sirius, who had attended the ‘engagement party’, showed even less enthusiasm than her elder brother, unfortunately. Partly because he loathed having to spend any amount of time around his family and their relatives; but partly because he absolutely did _not_ want to see his brother and his cousin married.

When she managed to corner him in the gardens to ask him why he disapproved, however, his answer was one that froze her to the bone and plagued her dreams for many nights afterwards.

“I just don’t want you to have to wear that fucking Mark.”

And despite his cursing, Selene suddenly understood that, as a Selwyn, as a future Black, she _would_ be asked to wear the Dark Lord’s brand. Her father and brother already did, proudly at that.

And as suddenly, the need to be her own person and to damn all that was asked of her became indispensable…

* * *

As the school year began, Selene was left to her own designs. Regulus spent less and less time in the library, which remained ‘her lair’. Most Slytherins had decided to ostracize her since her First Year, but she’d stopped minding it. Solitude was sometimes a better companion.

In the absence of Regulus, Selene had expected Sirius to seek her out more often. She’d missed receiving his letters, as absurd as it sounded, because he hadn’t sent any after the party. But Sirius didn’t catch her in-between classes, and neither did he show his face in the library when she sought out some peace.

About three weeks into the semester, someone else started haunting Reg’s seat instead.

The first time, she’d asked “Why the _Hell_ do you sit here when many other spots are free?”

Remus Lupin had shrugged and smiled. “I’d rather not study alone.” He’d sat down, opened his Ancient Runes curriculum, and started scribbling down notes as if she wasn’t there.

Selene had stared at him for about five minutes before deciding that he was not bothering her.

* * *

Their studying routine carried on. Surprisingly, no Slytherins leered at them or chastised Selene for spending time with a Gryffindor, because they very rarely spoke, and when they did, they checked that they wouldn’t be overheard or seen. And there also was the fact that he was now a Prefect, and it still made some other students careful.

“Remus,” she asked one Monday afternoon as he was struggling with writing an Astronomy report, “is Sirius still avoiding me?”

He raised his head from his book. Selene was always struck, no matter what, by the flecks of amber in his green eyes. “He’s not avoiding you, why would he be?”

She narrowed her eyes. “Because he disapproves of my betrothal to his brother.”

He pursed his lips. “Yeah, what’s that all about? You really don’t look like the type of person who’s agreeing with those kinds of ideas.” He paused. “After all, you’re studying with me.”

She rolled her eyes. “Wow, what a terrifying sight. Studying with a _Gryffindor_ , oh the horror.” Something flashed in his eyes, but she didn’t catch what. She didn’t know him that well yet. “Let’s just say that neither Regulus nor I wanted to end up forced to marry someone we hated. At least we tolerate each other.”

Remus looked at her as if she’d grown an extra head. “I think that it’s better if the betrothed feel more than _tolerance_ for each other.”

“Yes, well,” she almost hissed, “you’re not a Pureblood member of the Sacred Bloody Twenty-Eight, so… _you_ have a choice.” She’d exposed herself too much to her taste, so she added “If he’s not avoiding me, why isn’t Sirius currently annoying me to death?”

To her surprise, Remus seemed embarrassed before he answered. “He, James and Peter are studying something on their own. I’m not allowed near them when they are. Which is why _I’m_ the one annoying you at the moment.”

Selene chuckled, couldn’t help herself, and Remus’ eyes widened in surprise. “Is _that_ what you call annoying people? Believe me, nothing you’re doing is anywhere _near_ annoying me.”

That seemed to please him…

* * *

The following day, a brown-haired grey-eyed bastard pulled her into a secret shortcut, a grin splitting his handsome face.

“Hey S,” he said smugly. “Someone told me you’d missed me.”

She rolled her eyes. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She pulled a face, but secretly, she didn’t mind. “I’ve missed you too, for what it’s worth. Thought you were pissed off, that’s all.”

She narrowed her eyes, and straightened the strap of her bag. “You’re a moron, Black.”

“You _love_ me.”

“ _Ugh._ Don’t make me vomit.”

He laughed his strange bark-like laugh, and smiled wider still. “I’m glad you’re not angry at me for what I said that time. At least, not angrier than usual.” He winked.

She pursed her lips. “What you said… It made me think. So I wasn’t pissed.”

The smile faded, and he tilted his head to the side, reminding her of a puzzled Labrador, somehow. “It made you think? Good or bad?”

“For you or for me?” She snorted. “I don’t _want_ to become a Death Eater. I see what that does to someone. My father and brother brag about killing innocent people while my mother and sister-in-law barely bat an eyelash. I don’t want to become that _. I’m not that._ ”

“No, you’re not,” he nodded fiercely. “I always knew you weren’t. You’re more Travers than Selwyn.”

That made her smile, small, but encouraging. “Thanks. That actually is quite the compliment.”

He smiled back. “I’ll use it again then, cous’.” He freed her shoulders, retreating back towards the corridor. “We’ll think of something. You won’t have to take the Mark. I’ll make sure of that, if it is the last thing I do.”

Somehow, it touched her more than she could say that he offered his help in this regard. She daren’t hope that there actually was a way for her to avoid becoming a murderer, but having Sirius on her side was really reassuring.

She’d slap herself in the face for thinking that later…

* * *

One of the few downsides of being betrothed and still at school was that, obviously, all of Slytherin House knew of it. And that meant that, for lack of a better word, Selene was being watched. Constantly. Her almost every move was analysed, criticised, mocked. How long she spent in the library instead of in Regulus’ company – she’d rather have been knocked out than having had to spend any length of time with the company he kept – who she stopped in the corridors to talk to, how many letters she received from home or _didn’t_ receive from home, rather, and of course, who sat next to her in the library.

Several girls in Sixth Year Slytherin had come to sit at a table in view of the one Selene and Remus used to study – for the Gryffindor continued to sit with her, in complete silence most of the time. Sometimes, she could swear she saw them writing down on a notebook, and suddenly, she was certain that they recorded everything that she did.

She wasn’t wrong, when in late December, instead of a letter filled with good spirits for Christmas – not that she’d ever received one of those either – the family owl dropped a thick envelope in front of her breakfast.

It was signed ‘Aurus Selwyn, Auror’, and made her cringe. He wasn’t even a true Auror yet, the bastard. And he would never be, because he wouldn’t ever hunt down his own people, now, would he?

“Trouble at home?” asked Regulus on the tone of casual conversation. They were required to sit together during meals. Not that it bothered Selene too much: he usually let her be.

She gritted her teeth and stood from the table. “Trouble in here, I’d say. I’ve probably disappointed my brother to death, by now. _Hopefully_ to death, anyway.” She excused herself, and hurried to her common room, for now vacant, to read the blasted letter.

She’d been right. She’d been spied on, and Aurus had a timed and detailed recollection of everything she’d done for the past seven weeks. He cited the amount of time spent in the library with Remus the most, noting how many tables were free for her to dump the Half-Blood and study far from such scum. Basically, he had written a full accusation as if he’d be presenting it at court to the Wizengamot. She was the accused, and his threats were clear.

‘ _If you do not act more in accordance with the values of the family, your allegiances will be questioned, little sister, and you don’t want them questioned. And I’ll know if you step out of line._’

Nothing was clearer than that.

Time to act as rotten as the rest of them…

* * *

January and February that school-year were hard to go through. After being mightily scolded by her father during the Christmas holidays – “How _dare_ you spend so much time with a nobody, a Gryffindor, a traitor?!” – she’d started acting upon what he and Aurus wanted her most to do.

She’d spent more time in the common room, sitting next to Regulus as his stupid friends discussed the powers of the Dark Lord and all that he’d do to Muggles and Mudbloods and how he’d restore the world to its rightful balance. She’d pretended that she agreed with all this bullshit, and nodded at their ideas when prompted.

She’d stopped studying in the library so much. And she’d started sitting elsewhere, with some Slytherins she didn’t even know the name of. Sometimes, she caught sight of Remus sitting alone, looking miserable. It made her feel bad, and she didn’t even know why. They weren’t friends, after all.

The only thing that didn’t change, thankfully, was her cousin Sirius’ tendency to corner her in-between lessons, and stealing moments of genuine laughter before she had to pretend again.

* * *

One time, he’d snatched her from the corridor leading to the dungeons, and brought her via several secret passages she knew nothing about to a thicket of trees near the Black Lake, where his friends waited with provisions to spend a sunny early-spring Saturday out in the sun.

“So, how are things, S?” he asked after she’d flopped down onto the grass, minding her robes to avoid any green stains to appear on the cloth. “Are you still training to become a Death Eater?”

James Potter found it hilarious. Peter Pettigrew, not so much. He visibly paled, staring at her with wide eyes, as if he expected her to jinx them all in the next minute.

Selene slapped Sirius behind the head. “ _Not_ funny.” She sighed. “What they talk about, it’s…” she shuddered, “ _horrifying._ ”

“That’s one word for it,” said Remus, nose buried in a book…as usual.

She turned to him, but the apology she felt didn’t pass her lips. Apologizing meant admitting that she’d been wrong, and admitting to vulnerability. And those were weaknesses that she couldn’t ever show. To anyone.

So instead, she addressed Sirius again. “Do you think Reg will really join them after school? He doesn’t stop enthusing about it, but he’s not… I never thought he’d be-”

“A bastard? A git? A moron? A wannabe murderer?” Sirius’ eyes darkened. “Regulus would do _anything_ to please our parents. Even join Voldemort’s ranks.”

Selene felt a shiver run up her spine, and gasped as the other three turned their gaze to her, as if waiting for something. “You say his name?”

“We all do,” James answered with a shrug. “Fear of the name increases fear of the thing itself, and all that.”

“That’s…not by you,” she said, prompting Sirius and Remus to laugh.

“Nope, it’s not,” her cousin confirmed, “it’s by Dumbledore. He said it at the start of the year banquet. Didn’t listen?”

“I was preoccupied,” was her answer. She never listened to the start of year speech. She never found anything interesting to it. She’d apparently been wrong.

Cutting the conversation short, she grabbed the Potions manual she’d taken from the library, and started reading.

Or tried to.

“S, what the _heck_ are you doing with an Advanced Potions manual?”

She sighed, but didn’t look up at Sirius. “I happen to love Potions, Sirius. You’d know that if you paid attention to me in other ways than ‘how to bother Selene to death in less than five seconds’.”

Peter wheezed a laugh that lasted far too long for what the jab was worth…


	6. The hunt for Black

**_1993-1994. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

It wasn’t that surprising that, a month or so after Sirius Black broke from Azkaban, all of the Ministry had suddenly become a massive team of Aurors. No matter what they were originally doing, each and every employee would be sent on missions to hunt down the famed criminal. Contrarily to the initial strategy which had consisted in sending Aurors first and foremost, since they were sure to catch the escapee within a week. It was laughable.

Selene’s team was one of the first to be ‘requisitioned’, as the Improper Use of Magic Office was already versed in tracking down delinquents.

It was on a Saturday morning that Frances Bowen barged into Selene’s office. The other witch was reading the Daily Prophet, brow furrowed as she was once again confronted with the lies the Ministry was spinning about her cousin.

“Selwyn, you have to go to Scotland. Now.”

Selene didn’t look up. “Where and what for?”

“Hogwarts. Black entered the school last night. Papers don’t know yet,” she added as the dark-haired witch snapped her eyes up to her boss.

“Are they positive?”

“They didn’t give much details,” Bowen said, visibly frustrated. “There’s a Quidditch match this morning. Fudge wants four of us to attend.”

“I thought Dumbledore had it all under control.”

“He won’t know you’re there on Ministry business. Don’t you have a distant cousin in Slytherin?”

Selene’s eyes narrowed. “So distant that young Draco Malfoy has never even _met_ me.” Not to mention the chronical hatred she felt for his father.

“Well, all those who are going have relatives playing. That way you have an excuse to attend.”

Selene groaned. She hadn’t gone back to Hogwarts since her graduation. Didn’t really want to go back… At long last, she set her jaw and nodded her head, less than pleased about it. “Fine. ATA?”

“Five minutes,” Bowen said before leaving.

Selene wanted to jinx something.

* * *

Half an hour later, she along with four ‘colleagues’ – although it were people she’d never met and barely knew by name – had Apparated outside of Hogsmeade in the middle of a storm, and rallied the small column of people heading for the castle to witness the first match of the season.

It was common for Hogsmeade’s citizens to attend the Quidditch matches, Selene knew from her time as a student; but very few witches and wizards outside the village came to watch the Houses play each other. It usually was an event reserved to family, and even then, rare were the parents that did attend. Apart, of course, from Lucius Malfoy, who’d repeated time and time again the previous year that he’d attended ‘every single match his overly talented son Draco had played in’.

Selene watched Hogwarts castle come closer, looming ominously over them amidst the clouds and rain. She’d placed an Impervius on herself as soon as they’d landed, but a shiver ran up her spine anyway.

Soon, she understood the reason for the fear and despair that crept up her chest as well. Dementors. Of course, she’d been informed that there would be a few of Azkaban’s prized guardians at the entrance of the grounds, but she’d never before actually experienced what their proximity did to people. Suddenly, it was as if nothing would ever bring her a single sliver of joy in this world. Her heart broke into tiny pieces as her memory was jolted and she could remember, bright as if it had happened that very same morning, the saddest moment of her existence. It had happened a few steps away from the massive gate, in summer, and it was all she could do to remind herself that sixteen years had passed since then.

“Selwyn, you okay?” asked one of her ‘colleagues’, a darker-skinned wizard from the Department of Magical Transportation by the name ‘Johnson’, if she wasn’t mistaken.

Gritting her teeth against the feelings that had taken hold of her and clocking the ashen looks on the whole group – meaning she hadn’t been the only one showing weakness – Selene nodded. “Better now. I’d never before been around them.”

“Me either,” he said, looking back at the Dementors with a gloomy look on his face. “Black must already be soulless if he managed to get past them…”

She didn’t answer, and the sombre expression she wore may have been mistaken for agreement, while, internally, she wanted to scream.

* * *

Compared to the despair and heartbreak that she’d had to revisit while at the gate, seeing Hogwarts for the first time in fourteen years was much less traumatising. Selene couldn’t say that she’d missed the castle, not really, not after what she’d gone through in the later years of her studies; but it was kind of surreal, in a good way, to be back there, and to see memories of what she’d done in every little corner of what she walked through.

The thicket of trees where Sirius used to take her in secret, so she’d spend time with him and his friends; the greenhouses where she’d pulled a prank on Professor Slughorn – not that he ever knew it was her… It would almost have been possible for her to smile fondly at the reminder. Almost.

“Ah, here come the reinforcements!”

Selene and her Ministry ‘friends’ tensed at that, and watched Professor Dumbledore walk towards them, a jovial smile on his lips, but a calculating look in his piercing blue eyes. That, Selene hadn’t missed. At all.

“Professor,” Johnson said, acting as if nothing was amiss, “Good day to you! Do you know if Angelina has already had breakfast? I wanted to surprise her by coming today but I hoped I’d catch her before the match started!”

The Headmaster’s smile turned a bit cheeky. “Did you now, Henry? Well,” he added, looking back towards the school, “I think both teams have already gone to their respective changing rooms. It might be worth going there first.” Johnson nodded and walked away, as if he hadn’t been accompanied by three others at all.

Selene felt the gaze of the Headmaster fall on her, even as she kept hers firmly locked onto the Quidditch pitch a few paces ahead. She was the only woman who’d come with the Ministry ‘party’, and as such, she stood out, especially since her link to any of today’s players was tenuous, broken, even.

“Miss Selwyn,” Dumbledore said then, effectively addressing her next and forcing her to look back at him, “I’m surprised to see you here today. I had never taken you for the kind of woman who liked attending Quidditch games. In the rain, nonetheless.”

Her jaw set. She hated when people assumed she was a haughty bitch when she wasn’t. But her reputation was what it was, and she couldn’t change it, not if she wanted to remain in her brother’s good graces. “I thought I’d come see my cousin play. Young Draco Malfoy,” she added, as if it was needed.

“Ah, yes, I forgot that your family has links with the Blacks, and therefore, the Malfoys…” Something in his tone told her he hadn’t forgotten at all, but anyway. “I’m afraid you came here for naught, my dear. Slytherin team has chosen to step down due to the weather conditions. Hufflepuff will play in its stead.”

Behind her, the two other members of the Ministry groaned. Both were relatives – a father and an uncle – to Slytherin players. This impromptu change in plans made their presence superfluous.

Selene decided to play it ‘cool’, however. She shrugged, and said “Well, then, I suppose I’ll be able to watch from the stands with Draco, instead of watching him play. Perhaps it’s for the best, for I haven’t spent time with him in a while. Professor,” she said, finally making her way towards the stands.

The prospect of spending the entirety of a Quidditch match next to Lucius Malfoy’s progeny was enough to make her gag, but she had to soldier on. She was there for work, not pleasure.

She almost bumped into an enormous black dog as it ran away from the entrance of the pitch, and cursed as she stumbled and almost fell into the murky grass.

If she caught the idiot who’d come with their pet…

* * *

The match was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster. Truth be told, Selene did wonder why Dumbledore had left it on the cards, what with the whole Sirius affair, but she supposed the Headmaster believed he knew better.

Not only had the storm rendered matters impossible for the Quidditch players, but the Dementors had moved from outside the grounds to the pitch, no doubt hungry and quite happy to find a free buffet so close.

Selene experienced the despair that came with the Dementors for the second time in her life, that same day. But this time, it was amplified tenfold, because it wasn’t three of the terrifying creatures had trespassed, but more than _fifty_. The whole public was frozen, unable to move or even voice a single syllable safe screams of panic, until a few Patroni were summoned from the teachers’ stands, and the damned beings flew away.

She tried to shake the lingering pain off her psyche, forcing painful memories back where they belonged, in a locked drawer at the back of her mind, before excusing herself from Slytherin House and Draco Malfoy – who, unsurprisingly, hadn’t talked to her at all throughout the whole match – to go see if there were reasons for the fuckup that had just occurred. And also, admittedly, to escape.

When she reached ground level, she saw a stretcher being carried away, a swirl of crimson robes telling her it probably was the player who’d fallen from the skies moments before the Patroni were cast. Selene hadn’t been in the right state of mind to hear or recognize who it had been, but as the rest of Gryffindor team followed while yelling ‘Harry!’, she got her answer. If a slight twinge around the area of her heart told her that some small part of her was worried Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, had been wounded, she ignored it.

* * *

Professor Dumbledore was already deep in conversation with Henry Johnson, and with another member of staff that Selene only recognized when he turned his dark eyes to her.

So…Severus Snape had become a teacher. How amazing.

“Miss Selwyn,” the Headmaster greeted with the same pinch of annoyance he’d showed earlier.

As she had earlier, she ignored it, and showed a more practical side. “Headmaster. Professor Snape. Mr Johnson. Have you got any idea why the Dementors deserted their post?”

Dumbledore sighed, but answered her, visibly not against sharing an information that, after all, concerned her as well. “Not yet. I suppose they got a bit excited… A lot of people gathered in the same place… It must have been too tempting.”

She nodded, lips pursed. “Perhaps it’d be more prudent to postpone Quidditch until the Ministry can reason them and remind them of their duties…”

Snape smirked, as if the idea was preposterous, but the Headmaster kept staring at her, as if he was assessing her, trying to see inside her mind. Not for the first time in her existence, it made her uncomfortable, and a bit angry as well. “Maybe. I shall discuss it with my colleagues. Now, I believe Mr Johnson and your good self must go back to work and give your report. Good day to you both.”

He and Snape strode away, leaving Selene and Johnson, the latter who turned to leave as well while she stared after the two wizards, jaw set and unease running through her. True, she had never been Dumbledore’s favourite student when she was at Hogwarts, but she didn’t understand how she’d earned such an icy welcome… Did he, like some of her ‘colleagues’ at the Ministry, believe that she knew where Sirius was hiding?

* * *

She was heading to the gates, slowly following a group of Hogsmeade residents who were as pale and ashen faced as she surely was, when they passed the front porch. Movement out the corner of her eye made Selene turn her head, and she stopped walking as she stared at the man who stood there, her heart beating quicker each second that passed.

Remus Lupin was there, holding himself up with a cane, looking frail and weakened by the previous night’s full moon. He hadn’t changed much in the twelve years that had passed since the last time they’d seen each other. At the back of her mind, she realised that his presence at Hogwarts meant he had somehow been accepted into the staff.

His amber-flecked green eyes were fixed on her, and it didn’t seem like he’d been seeking her out either – he appeared too stunned to see her for that.

They stared silently, appraising the other, for a long moment. Selene’s heart beat frantically in her chest, and she was certain that, so close still to the night he’d changed, he could hear it.

She could only escape Hogwarts and the sudden apparition when his name was called from within, and he looked back long enough for her to run away. Like the coward she often was, where he was concerned…

* * *

**_1976-1977. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

‘ _Didn’t even manage to be elected Prefect. You definitely are useless, dearest sister. Perhaps you should think about quitting school altogether, unless you want to shame the family further by failing your O.W.L.s…_ ’

Such had been the words that Aurus Selwyn had used as his parting gift to Selene when she left for her Fifth Year at Hogwarts. Unlike him, she had not been made Slytherin Prefect, and obviously, her parents – and brother – found it shameful. They’d taunted her with it as soon as it became certain she wouldn’t receive the precious badge, and she’d spent one of the worst summers ever.

If anyone had asked her about it, she would have said that it didn’t matter to her. She had never really wanted to become a Prefect. It sounded more like a punishment than a gift. She didn’t really want to patrol the corridors at night, and spending mandatory time with twenty-five others was just purely appalling to her.

She would be better off without the badge. But she would also have been better off without her family’s insults and claims that she wasn’t doing everything in her power to make them proud.

Considering what exactly would _have_ made her family proud, Selene was surprised something as trivial as a Perfect title was considered an honour…

So, all things considered, that schoolyear did not really start well.

* * *

It was near the first Hogsmeade weekend that Selene was cornered by Sirius and, as it had become a habit the previous year, was brought to the thicket of trees near the Lake. Indian summer was kind, that year, and aside from a little breeze, it was more than adequate to remain outdoors.

Unsurprisingly, Remus was studying – Arithmancy, this time – while Peter and James played exploding snap.

“Look who I’ve found!” Sirius cheered before sitting down next to his best friend to grab cards and join the oncoming game.

James and Peter, engrossed in their fierce battle, acknowledged her with a nod and a ‘Selene’ that made her roll her eyes before she plopped down next to Remus and grabbed her favourite Advanced Potions manual.

This time, however, the sandy-haired boy had decided to talk instead of peacefully studying.

“How’s your summer been?” he asked, prompting her to close the book and sigh. No need to pretend she was studying; they’d all see right through it.

“Awful. The family made sure I knew how disappointed they were that I didn’t make Prefect.”

Sirius snorted before throwing a card onto the pile that decided to subsequently explode. “I didn’t make Prefect either. I’ve not died of shame.”

Selene snorted back. “Not making Prefect is probably the least shameful of your sins as far as your parents are concerned, Sirius dear.” He tilted his head as if signifying she wasn’t wrong. “Aurus has been even more of a pain in the arse when it was certain I wouldn’t get the badge. Then it got worse when Antonia got pregnant.”

“Your brother is going to be a dad?” James said, reshuffling a new deck of cards. “Merlin be merciful.”

The other three nodded in agreement. In those five years she’d known them – and shared very few personal things, although the rest they seemed to discover by themselves – the topic of her abhorring brother was one that never failed to make them scowl.

“Merlin forbid it’s a boy. He’d be even more insufferable then.”

Sirius chuckled mischievously. “Nah, I wouldn’t worry. I’d be surprised if the kid is his anyway. Never looked like the kind of guy who knew where to put it.”

“Sirius!” Remus scolded while James howled with laughter and Peter hid his own smile behind his hand.

Selene, Pureblood witch that she was, was always appalled at the language and innuendo that her cousin used. At first, she’d outwardly showed her discontent, but as it only made Sirius use more profanity, she had then learnt to keep a straight face, even though the need to blush and chastise him was strong.

“What about your engagement, then?” Remus steered the topic away from Aurus’ sexual prowess – or lack thereof – just to run headlong into another minefield.

Selene opened her book again, trying to make it clearer that she really didn’t want to talk about it, but she still answered, tight-lipped, “Regulus has told me first thing in the train that we’d have to spend less time together this year. Apparently, he’s ‘learning new things’ after hours.”

Sirius’ head turned so sharply that he should have given himself whiplash. “’Learning new things’? Is he already one of them, then?”

Selene held his grey gaze for a while, unsure as to how to respond. She supposed he deserved a bit of truth, even though the full thing was not hers to tell. “He’s keeping company that has been branded. Aurus told me Montague was Marked the moment he turned sixteen. I think Reg’s being groomed.”

“Fuck,” the eldest Black said, running a hand through his hair as he always did when under stress.

“Just this once,” she said, “I agree with you, Sirius. Fuck indeed.”

* * *

Those secret ‘studying’ sessions became some sort of a habit for the group of five. Mostly on Saturdays, first outside, when the weather allowed it, then in a large secret passage hiding behind a mirror. Selene found studying for her O.W.L.s easier when she had the mind of four wizards who’d already been confronted to the dreaded exams, and, if she was being honest with herself, she quite enjoyed their company.

Sirius had crept inside her heart easily enough, and early enough, and despite the slight shame that always came with Selene’s realisation that she loved her cousin like the brother she ought to have had, he was the one she appreciated to spend time around the most. He also was really good at Transfiguration, which came in handy.

James was surprisingly funny, with a dry sort of humour that clashed easily with her falsely haughty persona. He had early on made it his mission to make her laugh, and although several amused smiles had found themselves on her lips more than once, he had yet to fully succeed.

Peter was mostly quiet but wasn’t without his own talents. He was surprisingly talented at Charms, non-verbal ones even, and agreed to tutor Selene with those she struggled the most to learn.

And Remus, well… He was the perfect studying companion, as she’d discovered the previous year. But he also was generous – which, any other time, she’d have said was a weakness – funny in his own right, and quite handsome, when she allowed herself to notice.

But Remus was also sick. Often. Regularly. Too regularly for it to be a coincidence, as were the small incidents that apparently plagued the members of his family.

One time, he’d caught the wizard’s flu. Then, his grandma had been gravely ill. Then, he’d caught the flu again. In December, he’d had to go back home for Christmas early because his Dad had been in an accident. The following month, he’d had a stomach bug.

In February, Selene had enough. She’d realised that, despite his weaving different excuses each time, Remus looked the exact same the following day. He looked pale, had dark bags under his eyes, sported one or two more scars on his arms, and he was exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept all night.

She almost locked herself in the library one day, bent on finding his secret out.

Only one answer kept coming back, one that she first dismissed, then started considering more and more likely as time passed.

But how? How could something so…disgusting, so evil, so barbaric, so just plainly hideous, have been granted a scholarship at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry? How could such a…thing, walk around among students that could, at any given moment, become its next meal?

It just didn’t look like something Remus Lupin could be.

But Selene couldn’t see any other explanation. She had to be sure.

And she knew one thing for certain: if Remus was what she thought he was, then his friends knew about it. After all, they often came up with the excuses themselves…

* * *

She waited for one of those times when Sirius found her in-between classes to talk, joke or just to ask her how she was. She stopped him from exiting the hidden corridor and waited until he had turned to her to ask her delicate question.

“How is Remus doing?”

Sirius looked at her funnily, and he had a right to, since she never asked how people were. Ever. Not even him. She didn’t care – or did, but didn’t want to show it. “He’s…fine. Why?”

“It’s just…” She plastered her best worried mask on, praying Salazar that it was good, since she’d practised it all morning. “It’s just that he looked particularly bad after the last full moon. It’s never been this bad…”

Sirius’ eyes widened at her claim. She’d woven her words carefully, as if she already knew, as if she’d known for a long time, and it didn’t matter. She’d been clever, cunning, almost the perfect little Slytherin.

He could have denied it violently, stating that it was horrifying that she thought that Remus of all people was a _werewolf_ ; he could also had pretexted not to know what she was referring to. Instead, and after a long moment, he just sighed. “Yeah, I don’t know why, but he did hurt himself quite badly this time…and werewolf-inflicted wounds don’t heal that well…”

Selene had her confirmation. It’d been easy to obtain it.

It was much less easy to compute it.

Her worried mask slipped, replaced by the usual one made of the indifference she’d mastered when at school. She nodded once and wished out loud for her cousin’s friend’s speedy recovery, before nearly running out of their hiding place to get some air.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Her notes were a mess she didn’t even bother try to decipher, and her mind was a whirlwind of contradictions.

All her life, she’d been told that werewolves were beasts, monsters, that they were mindless and soulless killers that thirsted for blood even when they were under the disguise of men. She’d been told that, when faced with one, you only had to run, or to kill them.

And now, she was discovering that she’d been close to one, had called one her ‘friend’, that she had even found him handsome.

That night, Selene didn’t go down to dinner. She stayed in her dorm’s bathroom and vomited her feelings.

* * *

Remus Lupin was a werewolf, a monster. By extension, his friends, who defended him and protected him, were monsters also.

Selene stopped seeing them. She avoided their path, spent all her time in the common room – despite having to be surrounded by the worst scum of humanity – and dismissed each of Sirius’ enquiries by pretexting that she had to spend more time around Regulus again, that her family had placed an ultimatum on her, blablabla. If he believed her easily the first few times, he definitely didn’t by the end of May.

“I really hoped you were better,” he told her, grey eyes blazing with anger, as he found her near the kitchens one evening.

Selene arched a dark eyebrow. “Better than whom?”

“The lot of them. Your family. Mine.” He nearly growled as he approached her. He didn’t scare her, but she was worried – perhaps for real this time – about the way he was looking at her. And about the reason behind such a glare. “I’d hoped you wouldn’t act like that when you learnt about Remus’ condition. Guess I was wrong. You’re just as rotten as the rest of them.” He turned to leave, but stopped, launching another enraged comment at her. “By the way, well done, Outstanding manipulation skills. You truly are a Slytherin at heart. Your brother would be proud.”

All things considered, as he strode off, leaving her heart beating and breaking a bit at the same time, things could have gone worse.

Oh, who was she kidding? Nothing could have been worse.

She’d just lost the closest person to her…all because of werewolves.


	7. Intended

**_1977-1978. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

“Congratulations on making Prefect, Reg. Your parents must have been thrilled…”

Selene and her betrothed were walking around the grounds, hand in hand for appearances’ sake, as the younger Slytherin flaunted his shiny badge on his green-and-silver cloak.

To her surprise, Regulus dropped his gaze to his feet, and sighed. “Not really. I mean, they were, thrilled, but they had a lot on their plate…” Knowing she’d prompt him for a better answer, he carried on, explaining that “Sirius left. Early July, he packed his things up and said he wanted to be free of our family for good. They were livid. Mother burnt him off the family tapestry.”

Selene gritted her teeth, perfectly able to picture her dearest Aunt Walburga blasting her son’s likeness off the wall. She was glad she hadn’t been invited at Grimmauld Place that summer, all things considered…

Then, another thought occurred to her: Sirius had been enraged at his family, probably in part because of her and her treatment of him and his…friends. The sole thought of Remus, though, brought a chill to her spine.

“Are you alright, Selene?” Regulus enquired, stopping their quiet trek to face her, brow furrowed.

“I am fine, Regulus,” she countered. Salazar be damned if she one day gave a full explanation about her shameful actions… She tugged on his hand and started walking again, but he stopped her, eyes again drawn to the grass. “Is there something else you wanted to talk about?

He sighed again, looking back at her, his grey eyes meeting her dark brown ones, determined but also almost apologetic, which was a first. “We’ll have to spend even less time together, this year.”

“Because you are a Prefect?”

“No, because… Because I’ll be sixteen soon.”

Selene did not immediately understand what he meant. When she did, she pulled her hand free of his, and crossed her arms. “Oh? So, you’ll…join so soon?”

“It’s expected of me,” he said, incredulous. “Haven’t you been asked yet?”

She gritted her teeth again. She really didn’t want to talk about the Dark Lord, his beliefs, his followers or what they did. And she certainly wanted to think even less about the part she’d no doubt be asked to play in this…War. “I think my father is waiting for me to be of age.”

He tilted his head to the side. “Makes sense. It’s generally heirs who join at sixteen.” He’d said it as if he’d always been the heir of Black’s House. In a sense, to the Death Eaters, at least, he’d always been. “Aren’t you impatient, though?” He grabbed her hand again, grey eyes glistening, now, with ideals and prospects and knowledge she didn’t want to share.

“I…” she faltered. “I’m not, really…” His eyes widened, and the flame of disbelief and anger that rose there forced her to elaborate a quick lie that was partially true. “I’m just…worried. That I won’t be able to be of much use. I’m good at Potions, not at much else.”

Regulus’ gaze quietened, and he smiled softly at her. “Do not worry. The Dark Lord will find you a use. And I could teach you some things. Perseus has been showing me some spells. Some curses. Hogwarts would never show us any of these things. The Dark Lord does.”

Perseus. Montague. Regulus’ mentor, apparently. Selene hated the guy even more. “Maybe if we find time, you can show me.” And when she said those words, she fully intended to avoid ever having the opportunity to ‘learn’ anything.

Her fiancé smiled again, and they started walking again, as if this bubble of dark madness had been burst.

After a moment, he asked “And how’s _your_ summer been? I was surprised to receive your letters. Your father didn’t let you out of the house?”

Selene sighed. “At first I thought he was angry because Antonia has given birth to a girl instead of a boy – they settled on Cassiopeia, by the way – but it soon appeared that my dear Father and brother were just punishing me for my ‘poor’ O.W.L. results.”

Regulus’ face contorted in a mask of confusion. “What? Didn’t you tell me that you’d marked Outstandings only?”

“And one Acceptable. Which was, apparently, as shameful as if it had been a Troll.”

He huffed. “Uncle Janus’ expectations are far too high, sometimes… Besides, you scored Acceptable in what? Defence? That’s a useless subject, he knows that.”

“Perhaps, but the _shame_ ,” she said, rolling her eyes, “was still too great. I’m tasked to not put a foot wrong this year, unless I wish for a painful reminder of what’s expected of me.” Selene wanted to cringe at her own words and their implications, but didn’t.

“Stupid,” Regulus summed up before they reached the Front Gate. “This is where I leave you. Perseus, the guys and I…we have somewhere to go.” He leaned down to kiss her cheek, since there were several students in attendance, before striding inside and leaving her alone.

Turning to the Lake, Selene found herself hugging herself despite the warm weather.

Regulus was becoming a Death Eater soon. And that meant that she’d soon be asked to follow. How was she going to refuse without getting herself killed?

* * *

For her N.E.W.T.s, Selene had chosen to study her favoured subject, Potions, to the most Advanced level possible. Professor Slughorn was pushing his classes harder than ever before, and she found herself challenged more often than not, but, unfortunately, it also meant she had several lessons that lasted late in the night.

Slughorn’s highest level classes were held on Tuesdays and Thursdays evenings, from 7 to 9pm. Five students were registered, Sixth and Seventh Years. That’s how Selene found herself in closer proximity to Lily Evans, who she knew was James Potter’s ultimate crush; and one Severus Snape.

She didn’t know if he’d already taken the Mark, as Montague had, but he must have, since he was rarely seen without the other moron and Regulus, along with a Fifth Year by the name of Nott. Besides, the way he was eyeing Lily as if he wanted to curse her once their teacher had his back turned left little to imagination on his views on Mudbloods. Unfortunately for him, Slughorn was entirely enamoured with the red-head, and spent the whole two hours chatting with her, not even bothering to move to check on the others and their own work.

Those late-hour classes meant that Selene had to go back to her dormitory quite late at night. Snape had walked with her the first two times, but had made her so ill-at-ease that, since then, she made sure to exit the Potions room after everyone else had left.

Her luck must have run out, since that meant that people could more easily creep up on her. Namely, one Montague, who’d decided to become the bane of her existence.

First, he started just lurking in the corner, startling her when she turned into the common-room’s corridor. Then, it became more insidious, with insults, taunts and leers. And then began the threats.

Once, he took her arm, gripping it tight as he called her a ‘filthy traitor’. She’d pulled her arm free, ignoring the pain and sprain it caused her, and scowled at him before leaving. But he hadn’t stopped there. He’d started calling her out on things she’d done years prior, when she still spent her time in the library with a certain Gryffindor… Knowing the madness that lurked within the boy, Selene was terrified of what he could try next, but didn’t want to show any weakness by reporting him to her Head of House or, Salazar forbid, the Headmaster.

In retrospect, she shouldn’t have been such a Slytherin about it all, because around November, it did take a turn for the worst.

* * *

Selene had exited the classroom later than she usually did, even considering she left after everybody. She’d been chatting with Professor Slughorn about the possible uses of mandrake root in the most common healing draught, and it was well past 10pm when she found herself in the dark dungeons.

A chill ran up her spine as she approached the corner where Montague usually waited for her when he chose to make her life hell. But, this time, he wasn’t there.

Instead, she felt an arm snake around her to pull her back just as a hand pressed firmly on her mouth to stop her from shouting. She was shoved against a wall, and yelped in pain as her spine collided with the cold stone.

“Now now, little Selwyn, it’s time we had a chat…”

She would have sneered, hissed at Montague in any other circumstances. Not then. He had snatched her wand away from her and thrown in across the corridor, and was leaning on her, trapping her against the wall, his own wand touching her neck where she could feel it start to heat up her skin. He meant business, and she had no idea how to talk herself out of this situation.

“What do you want?” she croaked, hating the weak tone of her voice.

The prick of his wand intensified as he sneered. “Can’t you guess? Your dear brother has tasked me with checking on you, little Selwyn whore, and he may have decided he didn’t care about your faults anymore, but I’m not as forgiving as dear Aurus…” Not waiting for her to try and deny anything, he continued. “You’ve been whoring yourself to Gryffindors ever since you stepped inside this castle, don’t think I haven’t seen right through you. The Dark Lord would pay a good price for you to be punished for your sins, Blood-Traitor.”

Selene sneered herself, trying to ignore the growing pain in her neck and the warm trickle down her collar that meant that his wand had drawn blood. “If you’re so convinced I’m a traitor, why haven’t you told Regulus?” It didn’t make sense.

“Because,” Montague continued, a cruel smirk on his lips, “because when I’ve shoved your treachery in their faces, the Blacks and their darling boy will be humiliated for accepting you in their ranks at all.”

Of course. Perseus Montague, the wannabe golden boy. Jealous of Regulus, who only had a name to himself.

She tried to shove him off her with a jerk of her hips and a knee to the groin, but she missed, and Montague pushed her back into the wall, making her head collide with it harder than before. This time, she couldn’t help the slight cry of pain she let out.

“Play nice,” he repeated, “the Dark Lord has taught me how to make this harder for you.”

She had no doubt he had. But right then, she had no intention of playing nice. She tried to hurt him again, but he dodged again and, this time, she could see his gaze darkening in a craze.

“You asked for it, _bitch_.”

But just as Montague was going to curse her with whatever spell he’d learnt, he was blasted off her and back into the corridor. A tall, lean figure turned their back on Selene to face the offending prick and point their wand at him.

“Leave. Now.”

She heard Montague spit at her saviour’s feet before he scrambled away. Her heart still beat too quickly, and she felt more terrified than she had ever been before.

When her Knight in shining armour turned back to her, though, another kind of terror washed over her.

It was Remus.

* * *

Seeing him again after having avoiding his presence for so long was a shock. So was the fact that he’d just saved her from a vicious attack. She cowered away in fear when he reached for her, but she didn’t know if it was because of what she had just experienced or because of his being a werewolf. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know.

“Did he hurt you?” he asked, handing her wand back to her.

She gingerly took it and shook her head. “Not really. Just my neck…” She wiped at the warm blood that still trickled down, unwilling to show anything more. But just as she was about to stand more upright and go back to the common room, she felt dizzy, and had to brace herself not to fall. An ugly headache had started at the back of her head, and black spots had entered her sight.

She was concussed. Great.

“Yeah, I can see that,” he said, lips pursed as if angry. Not at her, though, she realised. “I need to take you to the Hospital Wing,” he added, none too gently reaching for her to help her walk. She hated the fact that she actually needed to lean on him not to fall over like an idiot. She hated needing someone else’s help.

Still, she let him. Strangely enough, his condition didn’t matter in that moment. At all.

He’d saved her.

So she shoved her ego down and said the two words she had such trouble uttering: “Thank you.”

“I was only doing what I had to,” he countered, almost cold. “I was on Prefect duty. I heard you shout.”

“Of course,” she said, gritting her own teeth. Of course, he hadn’t jumped to her aid without reason. “Still, thank you.”

They walked to the Hospital Wing in silence after that. But, when they reached the doors, he stopped, turned to her, his gaze harder than it had ever been on her, and his haw set as he said “Selene, just to be clear, this doesn’t change anything. I’m still angry at you. Sirius is still angry at you. Nothing’s forgiven.”

And as he left her there, as she watched him leave, or rather, stomp away, she did wonder one thing: why was _she_ the one who needed to be forgiven?

* * *

For the next few weeks, Selene’s mind worked harder and faster than it had ever done before. She started going back to the common room at the same time as Snape or before everyone else after dinner; she steered well away of Montague’s path; and she became more closed off. Not that she had ever really been outgoing, but it was still noticeable.

So noticeable that Professor Slughorn, who generally never really paid any attention to her, enquired on her health one evening. Even Lily Evans looked her way, seemingly worried. Selene brushed them off with a fake excuse she couldn’t remember an hour later.

Montague’s attack had dealt a powerful blow on her, for sure. It had left deeper scars than she’d have expected. Apparently, more than the thought of being a traitor, it was the idea of dying that had her so petrified. She flinched whenever anyone came too close to her for comfort; woke up from terrible nightmares where Remus didn’t save her in time; or didn’t sleep at all.

Remus. The mere thought of him brought fresh contradictions to the forefront of her mind. Knowing what he was, she was more than a little confused as to why he’d have saved her from Montague instead of leaving her at the Death Eater’s mercy or, worse, instead of attacking them both himself to rip their throats off.

His words as they parted had her think more, too, especially when she was sitting at dinner, facing Gryffindor’s table and his and Sirius’ backs. They hadn’t forgiven her. They felt as if she had betrayed their trust. But why would they think such a thing, when they had been the ones hiding a dangerous and appalling secret from the rest of the school?

Then she stopped to wonder why exactly she hadn’t reported Remus immediately. Anyone else would have done. Then why hadn’t she?

One evening, as she stared blankly at the ceiling of her dorm, Selene realised that she hadn’t told a soul because she cared about the werewolf Gryffindor enough not to.

With that realisation came another. She’d been a moron. She’d manipulated her cousin and closest friend into giving her personal information about one of his best mates; and she’d betrayed their trust by pushing them away without giving either of them a chance to explain themselves.

Huffing, she got out of bed, careful not to wake any of the girls she shared a room with – she was pretty sure she didn’t know the name of a single one of them – as she put her skirt and shirt on and tied her hair to leave Slytherin House on a chase.

* * *

She was acting on a hunch, she knew that. Prefects were not on watching duty each night, after all. But ever since she’d been attacked, Selene had a feeling that she’d noticed Remus hovering around the dungeons more often. As if he was checking on her despite his anger.

She sneaked out of the common room quietly, and didn’t light her wand just in case someone else than her target was close by. She padded towards the Potions room, and sighed in relief when she saw the back of him, his sandy-blonde hair rendered almost white by the light of his wand.

He didn’t say a word when her hand closed around his wrist to pull him inside Slughorn’s empty classroom. He merely shoved a piece of parchment inside his robes, and let her lock the door behind them.

“Remus,” she started, waiting until he had turned her way to continue, “I’ve been thinking…”

He smirked, sharing the reason for his amusement right away. “If you’re as good at it as your cousin, stop, you’re going to hurt yourself.”

She gaped at the joke, before huffing and crossing her arms. “I came here to _apologize_ , but I’m _very_ close to changing my mind about it.”

His smirk faded, but the light in his eyes, inquisitive, didn’t. “ _Apologize?_ Selene Selwyn wanted to _apologize_? Am I dreaming?”

“Fair enough,” she conceded. True: apologizing was a weakness. She avoided showing those at the best of her abilities. But she also knew that, just this time, it was necessary she did so. “Yes, I wanted to apologize, Remus. I’ve been treating you unfairly these past months. Ever since I…learnt…” she faltered, unable still to voice the impossible out loud. “Ever since I _learnt_ , it’s been hard to…reconcile what I’ve been taught all my life and the person I’ve been studying alongside to for so long…”

He huffed, flicking his wand at the door. Selene didn’t hear or see what spell he used, but when he talked, she supposed it had been a privacy charm. He wouldn’t have said it out loud if he hadn’t made sure they weren’t being eavesdropped on. “Ever since you learnt that I am a werewolf, you mean?”

She gritted her teeth, but uncrossed her arms. “Yes.”

Remus didn’t seem very pleased with her answer. “You can’t even say it out loud, Selene! You’re disgusted, you’re afraid!”

“I _am_ disgusted, and I _am_ afraid,” she shouted, taking a step forward to make her point clear, “because that’s what my family and their friends have told me I should be all my life! Werewolves are monsters, murderers, they kill mercilessly no matter the phase of the moon! But,” she said, quieting down, “I’m not disgusted by or afraid of _you_. And that confuses me to no end…”

He snorted, taking his own pace forward. “I’m a werewolf, Sel.” The new nickname made her tilt her head to the side, but she found she liked it better than ‘S’. “You should hate me, if you believed so hard in what your demented parents have told you.”

“I should. If I believed them.” Again, he had that curious glint in his eyes. She explained. “ _If_ I believed my parents and brother, then Death Eaters, Purebloods, should be perfection made men; and werewolves should be beasts, animals that need to be eradicated. But that night, a _Death Eater_ was acting like an animal; and a _werewolf_ saved me, even though he was angry at me.”

“Being angry at you doesn’t warrant letting you suffer, Sel.”

“That’s my point,” she murmured, conjuring a bit of courage that usually eluded her to take another pace closer. “I don’t believe a word they say now. I can’t. And I’m sorry I did.” Taking a deep breath to keep an ounce of that bravery in her, she reached for him, gently pulling him down to her level.

And there, in the middle of the Potions classroom, at night, in relative darkness and in utter secret, Selene Selwyn shared her first kiss with Remus Lupin. A werewolf. No, worse: a Gryffindor.

And she liked it. A lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing two updates in a row, peeps! Here are two brand new chapters to feast your eyes on as a 'sorry'. :)


	8. Bliss

**_1977-1978. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

Their first kiss was inexperienced, messy but agreeable. Their next few were more enthusiastic, as they seemingly both came to the realisation that they quite liked the idea of kissing one another.

Selene marvelled at the warm fuzzy feeling that bloomed across her chest as she kissed Remus. Sure, she had always found him to be quite handsome, even though she had never thought those words aloud; but she would never had believed herself capable of giving him her first kiss.

As a Pureblood witch, that was quite significant.

Perhaps it was that thought, accompanied with the reminder that she was betrothed to Regulus, that made her take a step back.

Remus’ hair was ruffled, and she realised she’d put her hands there during their exchange. His eyes, which were more golden than a moment prior, shone with an unknown emotion.

“Well,” he said after a moment of silence, “I didn’t expect that.”

Selene huffed, returning to her usual dismissive behaviour. “I’m sure you didn’t.” Then, because she felt the need to distance herself from unwanted attachments, she added “It won’t happen again.”

She turned to leave the room, but Remus caught her wrist to pull her attention back to him. He flicked his wand, breaking the spells he’d put on the door, and said, with a rather fetching smirk, “We’ll see about that.”

Unfortunately for Selene’s pride, he was right.

* * *

For a bit after that, whenever they’d cross path during the day, Selene would avert her eyes, and would feel the beginnings of a blush on her cheeks. Fortunately for her, nobody ever paid her enough attention to enquire or mock her for it.

Except, of course, Remus himself.

When he was on patrol – which happened more and more regularly, she noticed – he’d always find himself in the dungeons, would always pull her away from the corridor on Advanced Potions nights, and it would invariably end up in a make-out session.

Selene had to admit that she was liking these moments more and more as time went by.

And she appreciated the moments when they shared bits and pieces about themselves even more. For the first time in her life, she was giving someone the means to hurt her, she was opening up to another person. And she couldn’t find it in herself to regret it.

By the end of December, she knew that Remus was unhealthily addicted to chocolate – something that he claimed helped with post-full moon pains – that he collected Muggle music on what he called ‘vinyl’, that his parents were called Helen and John, that he knew a bit of Welsh, and that he had a strange phobia of mismatched socks.

She found all of that far too endearing to her tastes, but whenever she saw his silly cute face, she stopped thinking that she was making the biggest mistake in her existence…

* * *

After Christmas break – and a most unpleasant holiday at Selwyn Manor – Remus cornered her in broad daylight, looking more serious than he had in weeks.

For one second, Selene thought he was going to tell her that they had to stop sneaking around. Or that he was going to propose. She was that stupid.

But he broached an entirely different topic.

“Sel,” he said, using his nickname for her, one no one else used, “you have to talk to Sirius. It’s gone long enough. Just talk to him.”

She stared at the Gryffindor blankly. Sure, she missed Sirius. He was family. But talking to him meant apologizing, and it had already been hard enough to do it once…

Remus clocked her hesitation immediately. It was unnerving how easily he’d come to read her, sometimes… “Don’t find a stupid excuse not to. You miss him, he misses you. Just talk to him, tell him you’ve apologized to me, that all is good, and he’ll forget all about this idiotic fight.”

She rolled her eyes. “He’s angry at me for more than ‘just’ insulting you and avoiding you, Remus. It’s the whole Regulus thing, coupled with the Death Eater thing.”

“Sirius knows you don’t want to join them. And he knows you don’t want to marry his brother. That you _won’t_ marry his brother.”

She froze. _Wasn’t she_ going to marry Regulus?

_Wasn’t she?_

Again, he clocked her tense posture, and understood the underlying message. “You _still_ intend to marry him?” He took a step back, as if burnt. “You still _want to_?”

Selene stared at him, silent, pondering. What _did_ she want? Something told her she didn’t want to marry Regulus, despite the obvious perks it’d bring her – a good name, independence, a husband she could stand the sight of. In fact, she wanted to get rid of that betrothal thing, and be free to choose whomever she fancied as a husband.

Perhaps she would even never marry, who knew?

“I…” she said, at long last. “I…don’t know.”

His gaze darkened. “Well, nice of you to say so. I don’t know if I want us to carry on seeing each other either, after all. When you’ve figured things out, send an owl…”

And he strode away, visibly angry beyond belief.

Selene stared after him. What had gotten into him?

It wasn’t as if she could possibly reveal to the world that she was making-out in empty classrooms with a Gryffindor werewolf, now, was it?

* * *

Remus avoided her for exactly twelve days after that. And then again, the only reason Selene saw him again was because she decided that the best way to force him to face her once more was if she did what he asked, and talked to Sirius.

So, naturally, she sought out the Marauders in their favourite spot on a Hogsmeade outing: outside the Shrieking Shack. She wasn’t fond of the place, it was creepy as Salazar, but she wasn’t scared of it like most people were. Nothing had ever attacked her when she’d gone close, seeking some peace and quiet.

All four boys were in the middle of a snow fight when she reached them, and Selene stopped in her tracks to just watch them and listen to their laughter. Oh, how she wished she could laugh that freely…

It was Peter who noticed her the first, and he shouted something she didn’t understand over the cries of his friends, who turned to her as one man.

They froze. Any other time, Remus would have come up to her, then called Sirius over so she could make amends. But that day, it was James who had to walk her way, a frown on his face, his glasses askew and snowflakes in his messy hair.

“Selene? What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to talk to Sirius. I think it’s time I apologized.”

The brown-haired boy’s eyes widened in surprise. She gritted her teeth, regretting her choice of words immediately. But, instead of mocking her or judging her, he nodded, and said “Alright, I’ll go see if he agrees to talk to you. Stay here.”

Another thing she hated: standing there, alone, prey to insistent glares and whispered words.

It took Sirius two minutes and a slap on the back of his head, courtesy of James, to head up the path and join her.

In the few months they hadn’t spoken, Sirius had let his already long hair grow. He had tied it in a short ponytail, and his growing facial hair was giving him a masculine look she was persuaded must have turned heads all around the castle.

He also hadn’t grown out of his angry puppy phase, if the way he had his hands shoved down his trousers’ pockets were any indication.

“S,” he said by way of a greeting, staring at the ground.

She sighed, crossing her arms on her chest. “Seriously, Sirius, if _this_ is how you react when I want to make amends, it’s definitely the last time I attempt it.”

His grey eyes rose to meet hers. He was surprised, but there also was that hint of humour in there, which told her this was going to go well. “Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” she emphasised the word and its pronunciation, in contrast with the common way he was talking nowadays. She took a deep breath, and carried on. “I already apologized to Remus about how I treated him when I found out about his…problem. I wanted things to go back to normal with you too.” He was staring at her as if he was waiting for more and, setting her jaw, she indulged him. “I shouldn’t have manipulated you into telling me. I’m sorry.”

It was as good as it was going to get.

And, apparently, he knew it, since Sirius shrugged a moment later and said “Okay, I forgive you.”

“Just like that?” Her brow furrowed. She was sceptical.

“Yeah, just like that.”

But she soon understood he had had retribution in mind all along, because suddenly, a fistful of cold snow was being poured down her back by a James she hadn’t seen creep up on her. And Sirius laughed his strange bark-like laugh.

Moron.

* * *

After that little incident – because she had had to retort to jinxes to fend off her assailants – Selene was rather content to fall back into old habits. Sirius resumed his daily ~~cornering~~ hunting of her in-between classes, and the Marauders even managed to kidnap her from under Regulus’ very nose to ‘study’.

Remus hadn’t sought her out after her reconciliation with her cousin, and she found it inconveniently…inconvenient. Seeing him almost everyday and not being able to attach her lips to his was becoming frustrating, and a few days into February, she took the matter in her own hands.

She’d been waiting near the library for literally hours when he emerged from one of his many solitary sessions, and Selene wasted no time to grab him by the arm and to drag him into an empty storage room.

Later, it occurred to her that Remus was much stronger than her, meaning he’d _let_ her drag him away.

She closed the door and locked it, turned to the lovely Gryffindor she was ashamed to admit she fancied, walked up to him, and promptly kissed him.

Teenage hormones and all that helping, he started kissing her back for a moment before pushing her away, breathless and rather incredulous-looking.

“Sel? What the _Hell_?”

She huffed, and crossed her arms, as she usually did. “Lovely to see you too, Remus…”

He glared at her, as if she was mocking him. “You don’t talk to me for _ages_ and _now_ you come kissing me as if everything was alright?”

Her turn to glare incredulously. “What exactly did you expect me to do? Snog you in front of your friends? In front of my _cousin_?”

Remus looked far angrier than she’d ever seen him. And the full moon wasn’t for another two weeks, so she couldn’t blame it on that either… “Maybe if you weren’t ashamed of me, you could.”

That made all fire leave her, as if a bucket of ice had been dumped on her. She started, helpless, speechless, until she fully understood the meaning of his words and what she felt regarding them.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” she almost whispered. This was the most open she’d ever be with anyone. Ever. “But I’m a Slytherin. A Pureblood. I’m expected to marry Regulus, even if I don’t want to…”

Remus took a pace forward, forcing her back into a shelf. “You could leave it all behind, like Sirius did.”

She huffed. “As if I haven’t been considering that possibility! But I’m not Sirius. I haven’t received a fair amount of money from an obscure uncle. I’d be penniless and on the streets if I denied my family. And there is no denying Janus and Aurus Selwyn. They’d both _kill_ me before they’d see me free from them.”

Silence fell.

Remus was still staring at her, the fingers of his right hand seeking hers. He looked extremely torn. Perhaps his lion mind couldn’t understand her snake logic.

But at long last, he just leaned down to kiss her forehead and said “When you really want something, there is no obstacle too great.”

And he left her there.

* * *

Selene tried to understand his point, she really did, but she couldn’t. To her, leaving safety and comfort behind to jump head first into the unknown was just impossible, unfathomable, and quite mad, really.

She hated her family, abhorred their ideals and that madman they were serving as if he was the Wizarding World’s saviour. But she couldn’t leave them all with no prospect.

It was probably an act of cowardice, but it was one she owned.

Remus couldn’t understand her point either, it seemed, for it remained a matter of dispute until Easter. They would invariably fight, then make-out. Then fight some more.

It was a testament of how much Selene actually cared for Remus that she didn’t just call things off the tenth time he told her she ‘just could’ leave her whole life behind. His stubbornness on the matter was only matched by hers, and it made for a fiery relationship.

Still, they kept their kisses and fights for closed rooms, despite Remus’ first claim that Selene should own it up and admit it to Sirius. Apparently, the Black ‘sensation’ had announced loud and clear that anyone willing to date his cousin would have to face him first.

Honestly, Selene didn’t know if he meant to protect her or to make her life Hell…

* * *

On the last day before Easter break, she found herself sandwiched between James and Sirius in ‘their’ thicket of trees, both boys ogling the Potions chart she had far too generously offered to draw for their upcoming N.E.W.T.s.

Remus was sitting across them, studying for his Transfiguration exam in-between amused glances thrown at them.

Peter had ditched them a few minutes prior to serve detention with Professor Sprout after having accidentally set fire to part of the greenhouse.

“S,” cooed Sirius as he leaned his head on his cousin’s shoulder, “you are the best gal on Earth.”

She made a disgusted face and shrugged him off her while James groaned. “Sorry, mate, but I must disagree with you and put someone else on the list, here…”

Selene sniggered. “Aw. And how are things going with Evans, then?” He blushed to the roots of his hair, and she continued her taunting. “You’re just disgusting, Potter. Get your smitten face out of my sight.”

Sirius laughed and nudged her quite hard. “Hey, not all of us are looking forward to an unhappy marriage, Sister!”

She couldn’t help the grimace, nor the glance she threw at Remus, whose smile had stilled on his lips.

Obviously, Sirius misunderstood to look of horror on her face. “Guess you hadn’t thought about that, hey? I’m gonna be your brother, S!”

She tore her eyes away from the werewolf and faked a look of annoyance. “Salazar help me…”

The hilarity of Sirius and James didn’t attain their sandy-haired friend, bizarrely enough…

* * *

Selwyn Manor had become Selene’s least favourite place in the entire world quite quickly after she’d found a certain…joy in attending Hogwarts. Anytime she came back, she felt a shiver run up her spine, and she felt like she was being watched by the very walls.

Aurus and Antonia’s child, Cassiopeia, was the only human being in the house who made any sort of happy noises, between her baby laughter and cooing. Somehow, it seemed like it bothered her parents.

For the first week of Easter break, Selene had ‘happily’ spent her days sitting in the drawing room, studying or readying books on, unsurprisingly, Potions. She had enjoyed the break from the elder brother’s taunts, as he was often gone on ‘errands’ she had every reason to believe were Dark Lord-related.

But the second week, alas, was to be far less quiet in nature. Janus Selwyn had planned a celebration – without explaining the reason behind it – and had invited a lot of his ‘close’ friends, including, of course, Selene’s intended and his own family.

Regulus latched onto her hand as soon as he showed up, while Walburga sneered at her and commented on the style of her dress and the length of her hair. What a charming future mother-in-law she was being…

“Do you know why Uncle Janus has called in such an event?” the younger wizard asked, inquisitive.

Selene shook her head. “No idea. He hasn’t said. I don’t think Mother and Aurus knows either.” She then appraised his appearance, the pallor of his skin, the haunted look in his eyes. “Are you alright, Reg? You look unwell…”

“It’s nothing,” he pursed his lips. “My training has intensified, that’s all.”

She shivered, and felt the sudden need to let go of his hand. As much as she appreciated Regulus – or had, at first, when they’d met and he was still this young and funny boy – she was far less enthusiastic when it came to his future as a Death Eater.

“My dear friends and family!”

Selene and Regulus’ attention went back to the Head of the House, who was standing ahead of them, a glass of burgundy wine in hand, looking like some sort of crazy vampire-like creature with a drink of blood. She supposed it wasn’t so far from the truth, as, after all, he was blood-thirsty on some occasions.

“Many of you must wonder why I invited you all here today. Many might even wonder what the common denominator to your names might even be. To that, I will answer plainly: all of us hereby present have received or will soon receive the glorious Mark of the Dark Lord.”

Selene shivered again. This did not bode well.

“On this joyous occasion, I have the most wonderful news. Our Lord has agreed, once she will turn seventeen, to accept my youngest child Selene into his ranks! She will be the first female heiress to receive such an honour while still being unmarried!”

All eyes went to her, while she froze. The mask of indifference she always wore didn’t slip, but inside, an icy feeling had taken hold of her heart. She knew that she would be sick in a few moments, but it didn’t change the fact.

Her father had asked the Dark Lord himself to appoint her as a Death Eater. Without asking for her opinion on the matter. She was going to be Marked. She was going to become a murderer.

Suddenly, all her arguments against leaving her family didn’t make any sense anymore.

She should have left when she had had the chance…

* * *

A few hours later, after receiving the weirdest mark of affection ever from her father – a one-armed hug she almost recoiled from – Selene found herself lying in bed, awake and feeling like she would rather die right then than live another day.

She was going to become a Death Eater. There was no turning back from this.

She was going to be Marked, she was going to meet the Dark Lord, she was going to have to kill innocent people she had no personal grudges against.

She was going to fight her friends. She was going to fight, to harm, maybe to kill, Sirius, James, Peter. Evans. And…Remus.

Stumbling out of bed to grab her chamber pot, she vomited for the tenth time that night, the bile burning up her throat.

Remus.

She couldn’t harm him.

* * *

Coming back from that break in particular was horrifying, haunting and crippling for Selene. She had had a few days to ponder what she ought to do. She couldn’t flat out refuse her father or the Dark Lord – either or both would mean she would die a painful death – but she couldn’t fathom the thought of harming those she truly cared for either.

So…she decided to cut the strings linking her heart to those two boys she found her life hollow without, and suffer the consequences, without having to suffer more when the time came for her to kill them.

She was _that_ dramatic.

To make sure neither Sirius nor Remus would have time to discuss her decision after it was made, and to prevent them from seeking her out after the fact to persuade her to reconsider, she waited for the last possible moment: their graduation.

Unsurprisingly, all members of the Marauders had passed their N.E.W.T.s, some – Remus and James – earning themselves a special congratulations for their number of Outstandings.

Selene knew what she was doing. On graduation day, the Seventh Year departed Hogwarts with their families, and did not take the train she would soon board all on her own. Well, alongside Regulus, but that didn’t matter much that time.

Sirius was sitting with James’ parents, laughing at a joke Remus’ father had said, as she watched them closely, a fist tightening around her heart at the sight of happy families and sane parents. James resembled his father immensely, apart from the nose and the eyes, which he’d gotten from his mother. Remus was almost a carbon copy of his mother, safe for the colour of his hair and his crooked smile, which he’d inherited from his own father. As for Peter, he was like a miniature of his grandfather, who’d attended in lieu of his parents, who were on a work trip in South America, apparently.

“What are you staring at them for?” sneered Regulus halfway through their last meal. He had been glaring at his brother’s back for the best of an hour, sour-looking and also, if she wasn’t mistaken, a bit sad.

Selene shrugged. “Just wondered why he denied your family for that one. Yours is far more suitable.”

Regulus had nothing to say to that blatant lie. She smirked to herself, and pushed her own plate away. She couldn’t eat, not with what she knew followed.

* * *

Families had slowly started filing away, but the Marauders remained behind, seemingly hating the idea of leaving Hogwarts and their group behind, despite the fact that they could see each other the following day, for all they cared.

This gave her the advantage.

With a carefully placed shared glance with her cousin, Selene drew Sirius out of the Great Hall and into an empty classroom on the ground floor. He was grinning from ear to ear, ecstatic to have graduated, no doubt.

In a way, she was proud.

“Hey S! Wanted to congratulate me before we left? Could have done that in plain sight, you know…” he winked, good-natured.

His smile faltered a bit when he saw the grave look she sent him back.

“Yes…” she started, heart constricting, “congratulations Sirius.”

“It’s not why you’ve asked me here.”

“No, it isn’t.” She crossed her arms, more to give herself comfort than anything. “Look, I’d rather we stopped seeing each other after today.”

A breath passed, then another, before Sirius barked a laugh. “ _What?_ What brought this about? Is this about your stupid marriage again?”

“No, not this time!” she couldn’t help but shout back, annoyance rising in her as fast as fear. “My father wants me to take the Mark when I turn seventeen. Next October. I will be asked to kill you. I can’t.”

He stared at her blankly, lips pursing minutely. “You father wants you to take the Mark. Has he asked you?”

“Of course he hasn’t!” she hissed. “Do you really think he’s the kind to ask for my opinion regarding anything important?”

“No, I don’t.”

“There!” She threw her arms up, this time, before all bile left her. “I can’t harm you, Sirius, I can’t. So, it’s better if we stopped being friends.”

“’Cause it’ll hurt less?” he smirked, knowing it was part of the reason. He’d lived in a Slytherin house all his life; he knew how they operated. Feelings? Weaknesses.

“And because it’ll protect you. A bit, at least. If Aurus found out we were friends, he’d…”

“…ask you to do it yourself.” Sirius reached her in a couple of steps, grabbing her arms as he did. “S, no matter what happens, you _can’t_ protect me from them. I’m already doomed. I’m probably in the Top 10 list of those they want to murder. You can’t change that.”

He had a point. Even if she didn’t want to admit it.

What she could admit, though, was that she was selfish, and that keeping Sirius as a friend would be the only good thing she’d have in her life.

The smile he gave her proved he had seen the change in her eyes. “Great, so, let’s not talk about this anymore, and think of better things. Friends?”

Selene huffed, rolling her eyes as she answered “We’re not friends, Sirius, we’re family.”

His smile softened. “Right. That’s more important.” He hugged her awkwardly for a second before letting go. “Come back to the Great Hall with me?”

She shook her head. “No, I… I’d rather stay in here for a few. Gather my thoughts.” And think hard on what arguments she could use to make sure Remus didn’t manipulate her as easily as her cousin had just done…

* * *

She counted six minutes until the door to the classroom opened again, revealing none other than Remus himself. She could have been surprised. After all, she hadn’t asked him here, nor had she asked Sirius to fetch him. But she wasn’t surprised.

Even less when he explained his arrival with a “Sirius told us about what you said. Are you alright?”

Selene sobbed, almost, catching herself at the last moment, but still turned around to breathe deeply and plaster the most contemptuous look she could on her face. She thought of Aurus, of how he treated people in general. She could emulate Aurus.

She _did_ emulate Aurus.

“Remus,” she said coldly, turning back towards him and earning herself a surprised look, “it’s the last day of term. I thought it’d be adequate, therefore, to end our…arrangement, right now.”

As Sirius had done, he huffed in a laugh. “Is this about what Padfoot told us? Are you saying that to spare me or something?”

Jutting her chin up, crossing her hands in front of her in the perfect picture of a haughty bitch – the one everyone seemed to believe she was – Selene answered in an icy tone. “No, I am not. I am to be married, very soon, in fact, by the end of next school year, no doubt.” Lie. “Our…affair, would lead nowhere. I am unlikely to give up my position and comfort just for you, after all.”

His gaze darkened. Their old feud. She knew she’d made the right call. “What are you saying, then?”

“I’m saying, Remus, that it’s been fun. Educational, even. But that it was bound to stop. It stops now.”

He took a pace forward, then froze when she didn’t show any kind of reaction, neither good nor bad. Just none. “You mean you don’t feel anything for me.”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” With a cruel smirk that imitated her darling brother to perfection, she planted the dagger deeper into his – and her – heart. “How could I ever feel anything for a nobody? Someone without connections, without prospects, without money? A werewolf?” She laughed, cruel, implacable. “Surely you didn’t believe I held any sort of affection for you, did you?”

The silence that fell could have taken place in the coldest night of winter. Remus stared at her, incomprehension in his lovely green and amber eyes.

When she didn’t budge and, worse, continued to smirk cruelly, he turned, walked to the door, and just left.

Selene released the breath she’d been unknowingly holding, and hugged herself as she fell to her knees.

This was far more pain than she had anticipated…


	9. Hidden

**_July 1994. Dorset._ **

* * *

It was raining hard that night. Selene was grateful for the fact that she could Apparate directly into her study, rather than have to face the weather. She’d asked Minty to light a fire, despite it being early July, for the rain was surprisingly icy.

She’d had a difficult day at work. One of those days when Hogwarts pupils who went back home couldn’t refrain from trying one or two spells in their bedroom, persuaded that no one would catch them doing it. She’d had to Obliviate a dozen Muggles who’d seen things fly or swell in their neighbours’ gardens; and it had been tiring. Not to mention, of course, the lingering unrest at the Ministry regarding Sirius’ disappearance a few days prior.

She was looking forward to a quiet evening in her home, far from London, far from worry. She had just sat back and closed her eyes to enjoy the sound of rain and fire when Minty popped into the room, looking alarmed.

“Mistress has to come! Someone is at the door!”

Selene bolted upright. No one knew about her Dorset home. It was warded, invisible to everyone’s eyes. Unless her wards had failed, no one could possibly be at the door.

“Who is it?” she barked, making the House-Elf flinch, though not in fear for herself.

“Two men, Mistress. They are wet.”

Two men. Selene supposed that, had it been Aurus, there would have been more Dark Spells involved, rather than knocking. She stood, raised her wand, and hurried to the front door, one she never used, and possibly hadn’t opened in more than fourteen years.

* * *

“Who are you?” she shouted at the closed door when she heard the angry knocks and impatient voices in the rain.

“S, open the damned door, we’re _freezing_!”

Selene froze herself. Her wand in mid-air, she thought about turning around and fleeing the room; or pinching herself to check if she wasn’t dreaming.

A second later, she was proven that she wasn’t dreaming at all.

“Selene Selwyn, open the _fucking_ door, or Godric help me, I’ll kick it down!”

She whirled her wand, and the wooden panel opened, letting the cold night air and some of the rain inside.

Two men stumbled into the corridor, one closing the door behind them before placing a trunk on the ground. The other was haggard-looking, and still clad in a striped uniform that had been plastered all over England for a year along with his face.

His eyes were still grey, but sullen, almost dead. His hair was overgrown, as was the horrid thing he’d call a beard. He looked as though he hadn’t eaten in years, and as if he’d snap in two if she so much as touched him.

Which didn’t stop Selene from slapping Sirius Black across the face.

“You….. _moron_! You _absolute_ moron!”

She slapped him a second time, then pulled him into an embrace he returned like a drowning man being offered a lifeline.

“I’ve missed you, Sirius…” she managed to croak as she hugged him. She would hate herself for showing so much feeling later. She hadn’t seen this idiot in fourteen years, and she couldn’t help herself.

When they finally let go of each other, and Sirius managed a smile that looked like a first attempt at the thing, Selene turned to the other man, who’d remained out of focus as she was reunited with her cousin.

Remus Lupin, as she had seen at Hogwarts castle the previous November, hadn’t changed a lot these past few years. Or at all. The same scars that crisscrossed on his face, the same wonderful amber-green eyes. The same taste for ugly cardigans.

She stared at him blankly for a while, unsure of herself or what to do.

Instead of saying anything to him, she turned on her heels and chose to bark “Come on. I’ll ask Minty to cook something for you both. You look like shit and you owe me a _big_ explanation.”

She was immensely proud of herself for having managed to refrain from snogging Remus senseless. That was a rare thing indeed…

* * *

Sirius had wolfed down the stew that Minty had quickly cooked for him, along with at least half a loaf of bread, by the time Selene had come back down from the only guest room of the house – incidentally, it had belonged to the same Sirius once upon a time – with a set of old but clean clothes.

Remus had been more measured in his way of eating, but his cheeks had retained a bit of colour, at least, which was good.

The dark-haired witch plopped the set of clothes on a vacant chair before sitting down herself, lips pursed as she watched her long-lost cousin stain the long oak table. She was torn between chastising him for making such a mess and worrying over his malnourished state.

“Where the _Hell_ have you been all this time?” she found herself ask without meaning to.

Fishing a strand of messy hair out of his plate to look back up, Sirius licked his lips, eyes sullen, but a spark of the person he used to be appearing in their grey. “That’s the first thing you’re asking? After _fourteen_ years?”

Selene huffed, leaning back on her chair to cross her arms. She eyed Remus, who was drinking his glass of water without a word or a glance in her direction. “Has he told you about what happened back then?”

The werewolf finally met her eyes at that. He looked almost angry at the way she was addressing him. But, considering how their last encounter had gone, he couldn’t really blame her…

Sirius seemed not to think anything about her animosity, and tilted his head to the side. “No, he hasn’t. What happened?” he asked his old friend.

Remus sighed, placing the glass back on the table as if gathering his thoughts. When he spoke at last, Selene was almost shocked to hear his voice. It made a shiver run up her spine. That hadn’t changed either, then. “When…when James and Lily… When Voldemort went after them, and you went after Peter, I met with Selene in London.”

“Why?” the Black asked, visibly puzzled.

“Remus thought I knew about your betrayal. Wanted confirmation.” Selene was staring hard at a knot on the wood, refusing to look at either man.

Sirius snapped his head at her, then back towards his companion of infortune. “Why did you think she’d know anything?”

Selene snorted, and didn’t let the werewolf answer. “Because I’m the daughter and sister of two Death-Eaters, of course.”

Remus hissed, prompting her to meet his blazing gaze. So, he was still angry about that day, then. Good. They had that in common. “The _important_ thing,” he said, turning back to Sirius, “is that Selene _never_ believed you’d betrayed the Potters.”

“You _didn’t_?” Sirius said, almost pleadingly, as he leaned forward, as if to leap into his cousin’s arms.

She sent him an incredulous glance. “I’m offended you’d think me this stupid, Sirius. I couldn’t logically believe that you’d sold your best-friend, your _brother_ really, and his wife and child to the Dark Lord. I’d have been a moron, and wouldn’t have known you at all if I had believed those lies.” She’d said the last part while glancing in Remus’ direction. Stoking the fire. “Anyway, going back to my initial question: _where_ have you been all this time? Why didn’t you come here to hide? And _how_ did you escape in the first place?”

Sirius chuckled at the onslaught of questions, and even his angry brother-in-arms smiled a bit.

It was Remus who answered first, though. “Ah yes, the escape… Well, to understand how Sirius escaped, we must both admit to something first, don’t we, Padfoot?”

Selene hadn’t heard the nickname in so long, it took her a moment to remember it. She turned to her cousin, then, and he looked contrite, almost.

“Ah, yes… S,” he said, shielding his eyes with his hair, “you see, when we were at school, and James and I – and that bastard Peter – disappeared to ‘study’, we were actually…uh… Well, we were…”

“Were what, Sirius? Learning how to kiss properly?” Selene rolled her eyes in impatience, crossing her arms again.

He chuckled darkly before explaining. “No. But that wouldn’t have been such a bad idea, at the time… No, we were actually studying how to become Animagi. To spend the full-moon with Moony.”

She looked between the two men, incredulous, her hands falling to the table, her eyes widening in shock. “Did you know about this?” she hissed towards Remus, who looked as contrite as his friend.

“I didn’t until it was too late, and they’d already turned the first time…”

“Which was _when_?”

“Fifth Year,” Sirius said proudly. And that was an achievement for sure, but still, a betrayal in its own right.

“And you didn’t _think_ to inform me of that…” She stood, pacing towards the cooker, feeling the residual heat fuel her anger. “You didn’t trust me with your secret, did you?”

Sirius pushed back his chair, she heard it, but he didn’t get closer, sensing danger, perhaps. “Sorry, S… It was too big.”

“I’ve kept _all_ of your secrets _all my bloody existence_ , Sirius Black! If I hadn’t, do you think Potter and Evans would have lasted as long as they did?” She whirled around, facing their shocked face with a fiery gaze of her own. She hadn’t shown that much feeling in a long time, but that night was one filled with surprises, it seemed…

“Sorry, S…”

She thought about striking him again, shoving him outside in the icy rain to fend off for himself, but instead, she felt a haze of peace run through her, obviously unnatural. With a sigh, she turned her gaze to the small House-Elf who was holding her wrist. “Minty, stop that, please.”

“I will, when Mistress is calm.” And the tiny creature kept on drowning her with peaceful feelings that soothed her, albeit unnaturally.

A disobedient House-Elf, that one…

* * *

A few moments later, she got back to sitting down, still glaring daggers at her cousin. “So, you’re a bloody Animagus. And?”

Sirius stared at her worriedly before sitting back down as well. “So, the Dementors don’t feel animals the way they feel humans. When I was sure Peter was at Hogwarts, hiding under his Animagus form, I knew I needed out. I turned, and I was so thin I could get through the bars and swim back to shore. I hid near Hogsmeade all that time. In the Shrieking Shack, mostly.”

She processed the information, trying to shove the disappointment and anger of his – their – deceit away. “That’s twice you’ve mentioned Pettigrew in a disdainful way. Has he got anything to do with this, then?”

Remus sighed, and she looked back at him. “Peter was the traitor all along.”

Sirius let out a pained sound, almost like a yelp. “I _convinced_ James to change Secret Keeper. I’d have been too obvious. But, in the end, that _rat_ didn’t even last a day before he sold them off…”

Selene felt another kind of anger rise in her veins. Pettigrew. That coward, that false, that little turd… But, something occurred to her then, something important.

“If Pettigrew has been working for the Dark Lord, why hasn’t he sold _me_ off too? Surely he’d have given me away, told them how close we were, how I helped your lot!”

Remus sighed, sharing another glance with Sirius. “We don’t know…”

Silence fell over that pondering. It was worrying, though. If Selene was in danger of being discovered as a double agent, she needed to know. She needed to know because she’d then have to disappear, go far away, far enough…

Then, at long last, she finally asked “And what kind of _sodding_ animal do you turn into, then?”

It wasn’t much of a surprise, but she still jumped out of her seat when the giant dog tried to lick her face…

* * *

**_1978-1979. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

Selene started her Seventh and final year at Hogwarts with mixed feelings. Well, not really mixed, as they were mostly negative feelings. She daren’t admit it to herself, but she was still heartbroken over her and Remus’ final words; and there obviously was the matter of her incoming Marking.

She was going to turn seventeen in early November. Her father had proudly announced that the Dark Lord would grace the Selwyn family with his presence during the Christmas holidays – although, of course, not for Christmas, it’d have been preposterous – and she counted back the days with rising anger, and excruciating fear.

Montague and Snape gone, she was left alone for the most part, thankfully. Regulus was now the head of his own band of would-be murderers, and was showing off his own Mark to whomever wanted to see it. Or didn’t, as he regularly flaunted it at his intended’s face. To her utter dismay.

“I don’t get why you’re not happier about it, Selene,” he would parrot almost everyday when they met, at 7pm sharp, in the common room. To keep appearances, although the Black heir seemed more and more at ease with the idea of spending the rest of his life with her. He’d tried to kiss her once or twice, when Christmas break effectively came around.

She’d pushed him away both times, but couldn’t for the life of her choose if she had been revolted by the idea of kissing him or by kissing someone else than Remus. Both things were stupid, though. She’d have to get used to kissing Reg, after all…

* * *

She hadn’t been inside Selwyn Manor for two minutes when Aurus came barging through their father’s study’s door, obviously fuming. He pushed past his sister without a word or glance towards her – she was grateful – and she heard him reach the sitting-room where he started shouting, no doubt to his wife Antonia.

Janus Selwyn exited the same study a few seconds later and, upon seeing his daughter handing her cloak to a House Elf, he strode to her, sighing deeply, looking almost as disappointed as his son.

“Ah, Selene. Welcome home. Unfortunately, I have bad news.” Not knowing what to expect, she silently waited for the rest, a lump already forming in her throat. “The Dark Lord cannot be with us for a few months. He is very busy, as you can imagine, Marking a witch isn’t on his list of priorities. So, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait until at least summer to be honoured with his presence.”

Selene froze. A warm feeling rose into her chest, one she could not describe at first, but that was true and unadulterated happiness. Thankfully, she managed to keep it off her face, as always mastering the mask of indifference that was a family trademark.

After a moment, she tried to look disappointed as well, dropped her gaze to the floor, and said “I could not hope to be indispensable to the Dark Lord, Father. I shall wait to receive his Mark with baited breath.”

It seemed to please her father, as he nodded once before joining the rest of the family in the adjacent room.

Selene stood in the same spot, staring at the same knot in the wooden floor, for several more minutes. She was saved for now. For a few more months, at least, she was her own person. She didn’t belong to anyone, and she didn’t have to become a murderer…

She breathed out a sigh of utter relief, but toned it down, in case someone was spying on her.

Thank Salazar no one was.

* * *

N.E.W.T. year was intense, Selene knew it, as she had lived through Sirius and Remus’ the previous year. She therefore resumed school with the intention to study harder than ever for her end of term exams. She buried herself under dozens of books, stayed late in the library, sometimes even spent hours on end some nights in the common room to study while the others slept.

At first, Regulus voiced his displeasure at having his betrothed avoiding his presence to ‘study’, as obviously, Selene wouldn’t be expected to have a job once she graduated, she was, after all, going to become a wife, and wives didn’t work. But then, gradually, he stopped complaining, and spent more and more time out and about, sometimes even out of Hogwarts, no doubt on Death Eater missions.

She never asked, and tried her hardest to ignore that, with the approaching summer, also came, once again, the threat of her own Marking.

Then, around Easter, Regulus barged into the library late into the afternoon, grabbed Selene’s hand, and pulled her into an empty classroom. He looked livid, dark bags under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in ages. He looked terrified, disgusted, lost.

She had never seen him like that, and it worried her.

“Reg? What happened?”

It took him a moment to gather his thoughts, but when he did, his voice was trembling. “I was wrong, I was so wrong, Selene! The Dark Lord, he…he’s not right! He’s… He’s…” His gaze dropped to his left arm, and he grasped it, as if trying to scratch the skin off through his sleeve.

Selene grabbed his hand to stop him. “What are you talking about? You’re not making any sense!”

“I know, I know you believe in him, I know you’re proud to join, but Selene, you mustn’t!” He grabbed both her hands now, and looked almost crazed. “You mustn’t, promise me you won’t!” He carried on, his grey eyes watering, to her shock. “He’s a monster, Selene. We are all wrong about him, he’s done unspeakable things, he’s…he’s gone too far. I must stop him. Yes, I must stop him. You understand I have to stop him, right?”

Selene was looking at him as if he was losing his mind. Which could have been what was happening, as far as she knew. She had no idea how to react, but in the end, she didn’t have to.

Regulus released her hands, eyes calming down, but still trembling. “I’m leaving tonight. I have to do something. To try and stop him. I…don’t know if it’s going to work. Please, Selene, promise me, swear to me, that you won’t join his ranks.”

The last words Selene Selwyn told Regulus Black, her fiancé, were then “I promise, Reg, I won’t. Ever.”

He nodded once, and disappeared back through the door.

Two days later, word broke out: Regulus Black had betrayed the Dark Lord. And the Dark Lord had killed him himself for it.


	10. To mourn or not to mourn

**_Summer 1979. Selwyn Manor._ **

* * *

After Regulus died, Selene was put into a situation that she never would have anticipated, no matter how prepared she tried to be for any problem that arose.

Not only had her fiancé, her cousin, her friend died, he had done so being disgraced in the worst way possible in the eyes of the Death Eaters. He’d betrayed the Dark Lord, the ultimate act of cowardice.

At Hogwarts, it had been easy enough to bury herself in her studies, pretexting that her incoming exams helped her forget, for a while, the heart-break that had come with Reg’s death. Mostly, people steered away from her as if she had caught dragonpox.

In public – meaning, in the Great Hall and common room – she made sure to act as depressed as possible, crying in her plate, refusing to eat, bolting out of rooms with a loud – and fake – sob.

In private, she had started planning, carefully, the summer that was to come. Even if she had, in fact, shed more than a tear for Regulus – even if she had grown to hate the idea of marrying him, she had been genuinely fond of him – she was almost giddy at the thought that his demise had brought along a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to free herself from her father and brother’s horrible wishes.

Regulus, as far as everyone was concerned, had been her beloved. She had pretended to be in love with him enough at home for at least her mother to believe her tears when she came back to the Manor. He also had betrayed the Dark Lord, someone she was supposed to worship half as much as her brother Aurus did. Both these things gave her the weapon of hysteria.

It was easy enough: she’d pretend to turn almost mad with grief and shame, to be torn between heartbreak over Regulus’ death and rage over his treachery. When her father’s patience had run out at long last, when he’d gotten disappointed enough with her, she’d strike. She’d tell him that she couldn’t possibly take the Mark, that she was a failure, that she would shame the Dark Lord, that she’d bring shame to the whole family.

She’d even go as far as to pretend her magic wasn’t as strong as it had been, if it served her purpose. She’d be free. No matter what she had to do to make sure she remained so.

In fact, she even failed a couple of minor N.E.W.T.s – and considered, for a split second, failing Potions, before she shook herself off the idea – to make sure she had credible enough arguments.

* * *

Clove, the elderly House Elf that had seen Selene born and that had been taking care of the Selwyn household for several generations, had just been bringing her a bit of bread and soup for her dinner.

Ever since coming back from school, Selene had been eating meagre rations, to aid with her lie. In secret, she had been stashing tasty morsels of cake, pie and other sweets in her room to eat at night.

The tiny Elf put the tray down on the bed for ‘Missy Selenie’, and popped out of the room just as someone knocked quite harshly on the door.

Selene’s first instinct was to straighten on top of her covers, to pass a hand through her hair to appear less dishevelled, but in truth, the untidier she looked, the better. With a weak voice, she said ‘Yes?’ and the door opened, revealing her father, Janus.

With a purse of lips and a swipe of the room with his dark eyes, he wordlessly told her he disapproved of what she had become in those few weeks since June ended. Selene inwardly punched the air: she had been efficient in at least one regard, then.

“Daughter, what is the meaning of this?” he said at long last, gesturing the around the room, at the piles of books, at the scattered balls of paper, at the dusty furniture.

Selene whimpered, holding her chest as if she was in pain. “I _can’t_ , Father. I can’t go on…”

Again, she would have patted herself on the back for managing to sound so pitiful. _Well done, S_ , she could almost hear in Sirius’ voice.

Janus Selwyn very rarely lost countenance. Even when he was angry, there was a certain calm about the situation. Unlike his son Aurus who easily exploded into a volcano of passionate rage, their father had mastered the icy wall of calm under which raged a burning fire. He stared at his only daughter with a gaze that could have killed her instantly, and hissed “That boy was a _traitor_ , and yet you mourn him like a weakling! You _shame_ me!”

Selene sat up at that, pulling at her hair like a hysterical woman. It did the trick, as her father’s eyes widened in frightened surprise. “It is _because_ I am shaming you that I am in such a state, Father! The boy I was to marry, the boy I loved so dearly, was such a monster, such a coward, such a _failure_ … I can’t…” She pulled at her hair again, then started scratching her arms, almost to bleed.

Her father startled and took two paces forward to stop her, although he didn’t come close enough to take her hands away from herself. Only close enough to stop her with a glare. “You better get a hold of yourself, Selene! The Dark Lord will not take a little, weak and cowardly girl into his service!”

Selene sobbed into her hands, then. She even managed a few real tears to drop onto her cheeks. “I know, Father, and my shame is even greater for it! That I shall shame the Dark Lord with my mere presence! I am unworthy of his honour. I cannot take the Mark as I am now…”

Janus remained silent for a few minutes. He stared at her, at the state of her room, at the red marks on her arms, and sighed. “I will tell the Dark Lord that you are unwell. That it would unwise to trust you with his Mark for now.”

“I am sorry, Father, for shaming you.”

He turned away, not answering as he exited the room, slamming the door behind himself.

Selene’s smirk was devious as he left.

* * *

Her ruse worked a charm. Within days of having pulled this performance on her father, Selene was told that her early acceptance into the ranks of the Death Eaters was postponed until a time where she felt better and could be useful to the Dark Lord.

This gave her enough time to practise tempering her own magic, to appear weak and unable to perform even the simplest of tasks. Her mother, who was usually very uninterested in everything that concerned her daughter, was shocked to see that she was unable to charm her hair into a bun one morning; or even to use her wand to light a fire.

In fact, for all intents and purposes, Selene Selwyn was now considered to be an imbecile and a madwoman by all who knew her.

Except, of course, for two people.

The first, obviously, was Sirius. Their correspondence had resumed as soon as Selene had felt comfortable enough again to talk to him after Regulus’ death. Thankfully, he never mentioned his traitorous brother, and their letters were made to cheer, and mock, and congratulate. Sometimes, he even was the one to offer a piece of advice or an idea to sell her ‘weakling’ story.

The second, unfortunately, was her brother Aurus.

He’d been suspicious of her so-called ‘loyalty’ to his Master ever since Janus had announced that she’d join. He’d been staring at her, observing her, hissing at her like a snake trying to slither under her skin to see what was in her mind.

Selene started reading about Occlumency, and started practising. She had a strong feeling that Aurus would stop at nothing to prove that she was traitor to both Selwyn family and the Dark Lord himself. Legilimency would be so easy to perform on an unaware sister…especially one that claimed to be half-witted.

Often, he cornered her into the Manor’s library when she deigned get out of her room. Often, he grabbed her arm to tell her he knew she was faking it. That he knew she was nothing more than a coward and a Blood-Traitor, and that he’d soon find evidence to prove it.

Alas for him, the War that the Death Eaters were fighting against the legions of the Light was taxing, and both Aurus and Janus were called away more often, leaving Selene peacefully alone.

* * *

In early November, after a long enough time had passed since Regulus’ death to pretend to feel better, Selene announced that she wanted to find a job. That, if she could not fight for the Dark Lord, she still wanted to be useful to him. She offered her father to act as a spy within the Ministry.

And, obviously, with her magic still so weakened, she could not pretend to a prestigious post like Aurus had applied for. No Auror program for her, no; no Department of Magical Law Enforcement, no Sir. Instead, Janus Selwyn secured a low-ranking post at the Improper Use of Magic Office. Something small where she would remain undetected and where her weakness could not stain her brother’s record.

So, in 1979, Selene Selwyn started working under Frances Bowen, and was granted her own office, her own chest of drawers, and a timetable that meant ‘freedom’.

* * *

  1. ****_Somewhere in Surrey._****

* * *




“I still think this is preposterous.”

“And I still think this is the most fun that you will have ever had in your pitiful life, cousin.”

With a smirk and tug on her sleeve, Sirius pulled her forward into the gardens, where a small crowd was gathered for a joyous event she felt she had no place to have been invited to.

Sirius Black, the moron he was, had invited his cousin to be his guest at James Potter and Lily Evans’ marriage. He hadn’t taken ‘no’ for an answer and had all but kidnapped her from her home, forcing her to pretext a visit to an imaginary friend to escape for the day.

As, obviously, a Selwyn woman couldn’t show up at a mainly Gryffindor event, she had Transfigured her features into that of a blonde-haired and brown-haired woman wearing red. Something that was as far as possible from what she truly was.

Sirius was James’ best-man, of course, and he steered Selene closer to the soon-to-be-married couple, a wicked grin on his face. “Mate, you look like you’re having second thoughts!”

James snorted and pulled his friend into a headlock, both laughing as if they were still teenagers.

Lily Evans was radiant. Selene had often thought the Muggleborn to be of passing beauty; but in her wedding gown, with stars in her eyes and love on her lips, she was truly beautiful. She turned to Selene, ignoring the two idiots, and smiled at her. “I don’t think we’ve been introduced. I’m Lily. Thank you so much for attending our special day.”

Selene tried to smile back, finding it surprisingly easy to. Sirius and herself had agreed to give her the alias of ‘Susan’. Plain enough, and still an ‘S’ name.

However, even as she was about to say ‘I’m Susan, nice to meet you’, Sirius entangled himself from James’ hold and barked out a laugh. “Lils, it’s S! She disguised herself not to provoke a riot, but…you’re safe enough.”

James, who must have known, grabbed Selene’s gloved hand and dropped a kiss on it. “Selene, always a pleasure.”

She snorted, much like her true self would. “Potter.”

Lily hissed out a laugh that appeared uncontrolled. “Oh, Merlin, it truly _is_ you.” She turned to Sirius. “As much as I appreciate you inviting your cousin to our wedding, I would have liked a heads-up, Pads.”

He shrugged. “Told Prongs. Thought it was enough.”

Under Lily’s glare, Selene said, unfazed, “Sirius dear, you should know better. Always tell the bride, not the groom. Men can’t be trusted with important information for the life of them.”

“ _Oi!_ ” both friends said at the same time, and Lily laughed again.

Alright. Selene supposed she was going to have a nice day, after all.

* * *

The Potter-Evans were married in a rather lovely ceremony that twisted together Wizarding and Muggle traditions. Lily’s parents looked in awe of everything they saw, which was rather curious to a Pureblood witch who had seen magic being performed since she was born.

As the day drew by, she grew more relaxed. A few men asked her to dance, which she agreed to until one stepped rather hard on her foot; and she found herself laughing more than once at Sirius’ antics.

He’d been right: she hadn’t had that much fun in her entire life. And, of course, she hated that he had been right at all…

In fact, the only thing she had trouble with…was Remus’ presence.

Obviously, he was there, attending his best friend’s wedding as he was entitled to. But seeing him there, after almost two years, still as handsome as he’d always been, wearing a cardigan above a light blue shirt, looking dapper and charming…it was all rather painful.

Remus, and Peter, who had arrived later, had of course both been told that ‘Susan’ was in fact Selene in disguise, and while Peter found it hilarious, Remus had pursed his lips and steered away from her for several hours, before realising that avoiding her meant avoiding his friends as well, and that could not do.

So, for a couple of excruciating hours, Selene had to stare at him, to listen to him, to be close enough to almost touch him… It left her very frustrated. And, as a result, angry.

“I need to refresh myself, excuse me for a moment.” She stood from her chair, ignored Sirius’ quizzical gaze, and escaped to the small country house that the Potters had decided to host their wedding at. Apparently, the house of a distant aunt of James’ or something.

* * *

Splashing a bit of fresh water on her face, Selene allowed her disguise to slip and her real features to reappear in the mirror in front of her. She was almost surprised to see her dark locks after having been blonde all day, but more than that, she felt like the small smile that resided on her lips wasn’t meant to be there at all.

It puzzled her that she was being the happiest she’d ever been…while surrounded by her would-be enemies. By people she should consider inferior; by a Blood-Traitor, a Mudblood, and a werewolf. If her father could see her…she’d be dead in a matter of seconds…

Allowing herself a moment of freedom, she exited the small bathroom and almost knocked over the person who was heading down the corridor.

Selene wasn’t going to apologize, but any words that she had meant to say died on her lip as she saw just whom she had bumped into.

Remus had shed in cardigan and was wearing his shirt with his sleeves rolled up, his hair deliciously mussed up as it used to be when she passed her hands through it. He stared down at her, visibly shaken to see her true self, and she took a steadying breath.

“Remus,” she said, cordial, almost cold although nothing warranted it.

He nodded, swallowing noisily as he answered with an equally indifferent “Selene.”

She huffed, straightening her dress. “Well, now that we have both acknowledged each other’s existence, may I return to my cousin?”

He didn’t move, but a flame of something sparked in his lovely eyes. “I do hope that no one knows you’re here.”

She stared at him unbelievably. “I’ve disguised myself not to be recognized. What other evidence of my being here _in secret_ do you need?”

“You may not want to be recognized not to be associated with us; but you might have considered bringing back some information back to your side…”

Selene hissed, this time, standing straighter in her heels as if she was trying to get taller than him – impossible, though. “How _dare_ you?” she whispered angrily. “ _My side?_ Are you putting me in the same basket as those _degenerate_ s?”

He didn’t say anything, but his pursed lips told her all she needed to do.

With a harsh movement, she grabbed her left sleeve and pushed it up, revealing her bare arm, Mark-less, unstained by Dark Magic. “There. Proof enough for you?”

They were standing very close to one another by then. Very very close. When had that happened?

Remus sighed, the flame in his eyes dying out. “Sorry. It’s just…after the way…” he didn’t continue, but she knew what he was referring to. The way she had broken things off between the two of them.

The reminded of that day made her breath hitch. As she dropped her left arm, she brushed against his unwittingly and, in a reflex, he grabbed her hand, staring at it as if it was a foreign concept.

“I’m glad you came today.”

Selene pursed her lips, staring back at him, annoyed now at how handsome he was. The alcohol she had consumed and the general giddiness of the day didn’t help her getting increasingly frustrated at how he was making her feel.

“Remus Lupin, you are the bane of my existence,” she sighed before grabbing him by the back of the neck to draw him into a heated kiss.

They weren’t teenagers anymore, or barely. This kiss escalated much more quickly than any of their previous ones. Not to mention they hadn’t done this in more than two years. Remus moaned into Selene’s mouth, pulling her closer and pushing her against the bathroom door at the same time. She put her hands in his hair, mussing it even more, pressing herself against him as he caressed her along the length of her back, rumpling her dress as he went.

That kiss turned into another, then another still. One of Selene’s hands found itself at his back, under his shirt, and her leg hooked around his hip as he held her thigh gently.

A sound of broken china nearby, followed by a loud curse, drew them both away from each other as if they’d been burnt.

Remus stared at Selene, eyes nearly black with desire, as they both panted to breathe evenly again.

Selene watched him leave the small house with an incredulous look on her face.

What had just happened?


	11. Independance

**_30 th October 1994. Dorset._ **

* * *

Selene got home to the scent of something baking, that day. Late October weather had rendered the air cold enough for warm tea and cakes, apparently.

“Minty?” she called for the House-Elf whom she’d just left in her London flat with an order to clean the place up.

The small being popped into existence, her pristine uniform looking almost snow-like. “Mistress?”

Selene gestured towards the kitchen. “Did you bake something before heading to London?”

The little House-Elf’s wide eyes sparked with amusement. Minty was unusual, her mistress had known that from the very first day, and she was fond of jokes and sarcasm. Which she proved again just then. “No, Mistress, I did not. Perhaps Mistress has a nose problem?”

Selene sent her an unamused glare. “Minty…”

The House-Elf shrugged. “Perhaps Mistress’ guests wanted to cook.” And she popped back out of being, back to her chores in London.

Selene sighed, hanging her coat beside the door before going further into the house, worried about what she’d find in the kitchen.

The sight made her eyes widen in surprise, and also, unfortunately, fondness.

Minty had been right: her guests had indeed taken upon themselves to bake. Remus was on his knees in front of the oven, surveying something he’d put there to cook, no doubt; while Sirius was sitting at the table, a ridiculous apron around his hips, digging his finger into a bowl of dough.

He grinned like the madman he was when he saw her enter the room. “S! Moony and I have made cookies!”

She couldn’t help herself: she snorted. “Sirius, you sound like a five-year-old, restrain yourself.” Her eyes went to the werewolf who’d risen to his feet and who was staring at her a bit sheepishly. “Cookies?”

He shrugged. “We were bored, and it’s almost Halloween.”

Sirius, undeterred by her chastising, came to stand by his cousin, handing her the bowl. “Wanna taste?”

Selene stared at the uncooked dough with a good amount of suspicion.

Apparently, she was an open book. Remus smiled a bit, jokingly saying ‘It’s not poisoned, you know…’

She glared at him. “I know that.”

Sirius nudged her and addressed his friend as if she couldn’t explain her reaction herself. “S has never baked anything in her life. I doubt _Auntie_ Daphne ever made her children cookies, too…”

She groaned, falling onto a chair.

Remus was staring at her with something too close to pity in his eyes, now. “You’ve never had cookies?!”

Sirius barked a laugh and Selene’s glare turned angrier, as if he was thinking her a pauper. “Of _course,_ I’ve had cookies, Remus! I went to Hogwarts just like you, should I remind you!”

She didn’t need to remind him, obviously. They both remembered vividly what their common Hogwarts years had been like, especially his last. Remus’ gaze darkened, though not in anger, more in…was it longing? Selene didn’t dare tread that path…

“Come on, S, taste it. I can never decide if it’s better cooked or raw…” Sirius all but shoved the bowl into her hands, forcing her to grab it and dig her little finger into the dough.

She was ashamed afterwards, but she finished the whole thing. Sirius found it hilarious. Remus…well, she didn’t look at him for a while, so who knew what he thought of her reaction at all…

* * *

That evening, Minty cooked them a warming meal that made the cosy atmosphere of the house even homier. Selene was loath to admit it to herself, but she liked having Sirius and Remus with her. The Dorset house wasn’t empty anymore, was filled with laughter and companionship, and she hadn’t realised how much she’d missed that feeling in the sixteen years that separated her from her Hogwarts years…

They were still at the table, dishes empty but glasses of pumpkin juice and wine full, as Sirius recalled fondly his godson Harry’s birth. Remus’ eyes were filled with affection as well, while Selene listened on, as if the prospect of such a happy event was something she had never considered possible.

Which wasn’t far from the truth…

At one point, Remus’ fond gaze turned to her, and his smile softened. Flushing deeply, either because of the wine she had consumed or the close-by fire, she dropped her own gaze, while Sirius continued, oblivious.

“What about you, Sel? Has anything interesting happened during all those years?”

She looked up into the werewolf’s lovely eyes, and sighed.

However, before she could talk, Sirius spoke up, grey irises the size of saucers. “Sel? Since when do you call ‘S’ ‘Sel’, Moony?”

Remus seemed the shrink on himself at the question, and turned back to her as if asking her what to do.

In true Slytherin fashion, she covered the slip-up by saying ‘Since two seconds ago. And, for the record, Sirius dear, I prefer ‘Sel’ greatly to just ‘S’.’

He snorted. “Pfff. My nickname for you is much cooler than his.”

“And again, you act like a five-year-old,” she said in false mockery before going back to the question she was previously asked. “I have nothing of importance to tell you, I’m afraid. My father died a few years after I started working at the Ministry, leaving Aurus the Manor and the ownership of my London flat. Six years ago, Antonia gave birth to their precious heir, Castor.”

“What about your mother?” Remus asked, as if Daphne Selwyn was an important person in her daughter’s life. She wasn’t.

Selene shrugged. “She takes care of my niece, Cassiopeia. She’s almost of age, now. Aurus thought it better to have her home-schooled, however.”

“Why?” Sirius asked, brow furrowed.

The look on her face turned murderous. “Officially, because he doesn’t want her to be subject to the bad influences of the other Hogwarts students – like I was – but, in reality…Cassiopeia’s magic isn’t really…developed.”

Her cousin’s gaze turned surprised, but almost amused as well. “Your niece’s a Squib?”

She groaned. “Not far off. So, you can imagine how my dear brother is taking it all…”

“Oh, the shame!” Remus said, mimicking fawning over the table. Sirius barked a laugh, and Selene let an amused smile slip on her lips.

After the hilarity, though, Sirius’ look turned sadder. “Poor kid, though.”

Selene nodded, taking a sip of wine. “My sentiment exactly.”

Remus’ gaze on her told her he shared their opinion, but also that, somehow, it echoed with her own situation. Or, at least, what it had been sixteen years prior…

* * *

**_1 st November 1994. Dorset._ **

* * *

“S! Remus!” Selene was awoken rudely by the loud run of her cousin through the bedroom corridor, and as he barged into hers, looking haggard, dishevelled, worried and almost crazed.

Any other day, she’d have jinxed him for invading her space in such a way, but one look at his face and she sat up, summoning her robe to her as Remus ran inside as well, wand in hand as if thinking them to be under attack.

“What’s happening, Sirius?”

Selene noticed at once that, when the situation was dire, both friends dropped their nicknames. “Has something happened?” she added.

Sirius dropped onto her bed, lowering his head into his hands with a groan before looking back at them both. “Harry’s been chosen as a Triwizard Champion.”

Selene’s eyes widened. Both Remus and herself knew, of course, that Hogwarts was hosting the first Triwizard Tournament in centuries, since Harry was writing his godfather regularly. However, the news that the fourteen-year-old had been picked as a participant was more than worrying.

“ _How-_ How could Dumbledore let that happen?” was Remus’ first question. The worry in his eyes was in part due to the dangers of the Tournament and his own fondness for the Boy-Who-Lived.

“Apparently, whenever a Champion is picked, it’s bonding. Harry had no choice but to enter the Tournament…” He groaned again, pulling on his hair. “After the fiasco of the Quidditch World Cup this summer, now this…”

Selene put a soothing hand on his shoulder. “Breathe, Sirius. Harry is surrounded by teachers who’ll do everything in their power to ensure his safety.” She knew that, as the last thread that linked him back to James, Sirius was obsessed with Harry’s safety. More than he was for his own.

“They can’t show any favouritism,” hissed Remus, visibly nonplussed by the fact. “He’ll be on his own during the Tasks.” He eyed the door, pursing his lips. “I must write Dumbledore right now. Make him stop this at once.” And he exited the room without another word.

Selene stared after him before drawing Sirius into a strange one-armed hug. Something she never did. Well, something she never did, except when he reappeared into her life after thirteen years. “He’s going to be alright, Sirius.”

“You don’t know that, S. You _can’t_ know that for sure.”

She sighed. “You can’t do anything to help him. You know it’d be dangerous for you to get close to that school again. Provide him with support, that’s all you can do.”

He drew back from her embrace as if burnt, and stood. Without looking back at her, he said, solemn in a way he hadn’t ever been, “Over my dead body”. And he, too, exited Selene’s bedroom.

Suddenly, a wave of dread passed over her. She was scared. And not for her own life or safety, no, but for someone else’s. Her cousin, her brother in all but blood. Because she knew he would stop at nothing to protect his godson.

She just hoped he didn’t do anything foolish.

* * *

Eight hours later, however, when she came home from work, Selene found Remus alone at the dining-room table. In his hands was a note and his eyes were filled with worry.

He looked up at her, petrified, and she froze, the same icy wave of dread settling over her.

His words made her breath itch. “Sirius left. He’s going back North to help Harry from close by.”

She cursed, and dropped onto a chair, defeated.

Sirius had disappeared again.

* * *

  1. ****_Dorset._****

* * *




“Sirius, how many houses do we still have to see? My feet are killing me…”

Selene’s cousin grinned wickedly her way and stopped, mimicking a great concentration. “Let me think… Another twelve, I think.”

She groaned. “You better be joking.”

“Of course, I am joking, S!” He barked a laugh and eyed her high-heels with a smirk. “But you really should have thought twice before wearing these on a day like this…”

She groaned again. “I never wear anything else; it would have been suspicious.”

Rolling his eyes, Sirius turned back towards the path ahead. “This is the second-to-last on the list. Hang on.”

Selene didn’t give him an answer.

Four months after finding her a pity job at the Ministry, and ten weeks after the Potters’ wedding, the former Slytherin had found herself being handed keys to a family flat in London. It had belonged to her father when he’d been younger, and he had gifted it to his daughter to, quote, ‘Let her have her independence’. After a while, though, she had understood that his offer had nothing to do with leaving her be, and everything to do with hiding her from society.

Her plan to appear as weak as possible had worked.

Unfortunately, Selene’s independence was a façade, as the flat didn’t really belong to her. Her father, mother – although that had never happened – and brother were free to come and go as they pleased, which Aurus liked to do at impromptu moments, as if he was trying to find her in compromising positions whenever he barged in.

She had quickly decided that she needed to find a way around this.

Hence Sirius.

The git had offered to help her find a house for herself, in secret. He’d lend her the money – he had a good amount saved from his Uncle’s inheritance – and help her place powerful wards around the place. Powerful enough that nobody would ever find it. Almost as powerful as a Fidelius.

She had pretexted going on patrol for work – which wasn’t wrong, every visit or two being followed by a check-up on some misbehaving underage wizards and witches – and found her cousin with a long list, ready to find her a gem.

So far, there had been only two contenders, but they were both too close to Muggle villages to Selene’s tastes. Not because of any prejudice, but because it would have been suspicious to anyone to have a house disappear and leave a gap in the landscape.

So far, she liked the area this house was in. In was in the middle of the countryside, flanked by woodland on one side and fields on the other. The path that led to the building was made of gravel and looked disused. Then again, Sirius had said it was an old house that hadn’t been occupied in years.

A woman between two ages were waiting in front of a lovely dark wooden porch, the contraption called a ‘car’ parked on a small patch of grass.

“Good afternoon!” she greeted them both. Sirius had given the sellers fake names, and told them they were siblings wishing to live under the same roof. No one, so far, had commented.

Selene greeted the Muggle, Sirius did the same, a dash of mirth in his smile has he shook the woman’s hand.

“My name’s Eloise. Nice to meet you!”

“Nice to meet you too!” Sirius said jovially. “So, you said in your letter that this house belonged to your aunt?”

“Yes, my aunt. She sadly passed away about six years ago. We never found anyone to buy the house, though. Too remote for most people, and the electricity is a nightmare.”

Selene had learnt that very day was ‘electricity’ was. A demonic invention, for sure. Still, she smiled cordially as well and tried to soothe their potential seller. “It’s no trouble at all. We like remote. And we can…rearrange.”

“Oh!” The woman – Eloise – said, eyes widening as she sized her up. “I didn’t think you’d be up to doing the place up!”

Selene was offended by what this implied – that she looked too…snobbish to hang up a portrait with her own hands – but supposed that there was truth in the Muggle’s words. She wouldn’t do a thing in that house. Her wand would do all the work.

Sirius, as usual, took it as a joke and laughed loud and clear. “Everybody says that! Now, can we go inside?” He outstretched an arm towards his ‘sister’ who took it and squeezed it hard enough to make him wince, and waited for Eloise to open the front door.

* * *

Five days later, Eloise was Obliviated and forgot all about her Aunt Margaret’s old house. She firmly believed, as did all her family members, that she had won at the Muggle lottery. Selene found herself the owner of a medium-sized house in Dorset, courtesy of an infuriating cousin who helped her redecorate.

Everything that would have been confiscated by Aurus – such as Sirius’ letters or the photograph that had been taken at the Potters’ celebration and which she had been gifted – was relocated to the house, and the London flat became even darker, even less personal than it had been.

All it needed was…a House-Elf.

She could, of course, have hired for herself one of the many of Selwyn Manor. The problem being that each of them was, first and foremost, sworn to her father Janus. And that each member of the family, Aurus included, could order them about. She had a secret to keep. Well, several secrets, really.

Once again, it was Sirius who found the solution.

He gave her several brochures of association that tried to find new homes for House-Elves that had found themselves without a job. Jobless Elves were a rarity, but Selene was picky. She needed to trust her new help.

She was asked to go to Cambridge, to a small building near the wizarding centre of the city, and there, she met with a dozen Elves, male and female, old and young, under the supervision of a small wizard she suspected had elvish blood himself.

In the end, she was given the opportunity to talk face to face with her three ‘favourite’ and, after two minutes, she hired Minty, fifty years old, whose Mistress had died without heirs.

Minty was wearing a pristine towel that she had wrapped around herself like a Greek toga, and her big eyes were blue, an oddity for her species. She smiled a lot, and was surprisingly lively. She followed every order given to her – or most orders – but often did so with a joke on her lips.

Selene waited two weeks before showing her the Dorset house.

Minty looked at the big and dusty kitchen, then back at her Mistress.

“Minty, this is my home. London is a decoy. You mustn’t ever speak of this place to anyone. Ever. Swear it to me.”

The Elf looked at the place again, smiled, then looked back at Selene, golden magic rising above her hand that she placed above her heart, sealing the promise. “I won’t ever speak of this place to anyone, Mistress.”

Said Mistress nodded, pleased, then said, solemn and tired “Prepare dinner, please.”

Before she could turn on her heels to head to the sitting-room, however, Minty answered cheekily “Will Mistress be eating her dinner in this house or in the other house, I wonder?”

Selene eyed her as if she had grown a third arm…


	12. Sparks fly

**_1 st November 1981. The Leaky Cauldron._ **

* * *

Word had spread like wildfire through dry twigs. Selene received an owl from the Ministry itself before getting a Howler from her father. The Dark Lord had fallen. He’d killed the Potters, and got destroyed for it. The wizarding world was at a tipping point.

First, Selene couldn’t help but feel elated. The Dark Lord was gone. She was saved from his influence. Safe from harm, from having to do harm. Her plan had worked long enough that she would never have to bear the Mark.

Still, she wrote back to her father, faking grief, going as far as to pour drops of water over the ink to make it look like she had cried writing those words. She offered to come to Selwyn Manor, but he declined, saying that the family had to lay low for a while, as the other side would no doubt try to find Death Eaters to condemn to Azkaban. She pursed her lips, considering selling Janus and Aurus out. After all, she didn’t need them or their money anymore.

But still. If they didn’t get arrested, she’d be dead. Aurus would kill her. Slowly. Painfully. So, once again, self-preservation won over honesty.

After elation, however, came worry. The kind that settled in someone’s bones and didn’t let go. The kind that made one feel ice-cold, akin to the feeling that Dementors were told to emulate in people.

James and Lily Potter – and their son Harry – had been murdered by the Dark Lord before his demise. James and Lily Potter who Sirius had told her were in hiding, protected by a Fidelius Charm. James Potter, who was Sirius’ best-friend.

So, who had given them away? Who had sold them off?

The second letter she sent that night was to her cousin. Asking her where he was, if he needed her help. To come to her Dorset home if he was in need of a place of comfort.

The third she sent was to Remus. She gave him a time, a place. The Leaky Cauldron, room 203, at 2am precisely.

She was sitting on a chair near the window, worrying about Sirius’ lack of answer, when there was a knock on the door.

* * *

Remus was haggard-looking, which would have been absolutely normal if it had been close to the full-moon. But said full-moon wasn’t for another ten days, and he had just lost two of his closest friends, and their son.

His green eyes red and puffy, he approached Selene cautiously, and she wondered briefly if he was considering hugging her for comfort. They hadn’t seen each other since James and Lily’s wedding over a year prior, that reminder painful in itself.

“Sel,” he greeted, voice hoarse. She could picture him perfectly, screaming his lungs out as he heard the news.

She stood, holding her wand loosely, not threateningly, although the simple act was, in itself, a threat being made. His gaze dropped to her hand, then back to her eyes as she asked ‘Have you heard from Sirius?’.

His demeanour darkened immediately, a wave of anger turning his eyes amber in a blink. He raised his wand as he bared his teeth, like the animal he turned into each month. “Why, haven’t you heard from your _dear_ _cousin_ yet? Has he left you alone after betraying his friends?”

Selene’s eyes widened in disbelief. “What-? Are you-?” Then she bared her teeth as well, her own anger rising to meet his. “Are you insinuating that _Sirius_ has betrayed James and Lily? That he _sold_ them to the Dark Lord?”

“That is _exactly_ what I am insinuating!” He got into her face, his wand touching her ribs. Hers rose to rest above his collarbone, both seconds away from jinxing the other. “Did you help him? Were you the one to turn him? Was your daddy proud when you came home with a new Death Eater to Mark?”

Selene yelled as she sent him flying back into the wall, dust dropping from the ceiling onto his head as the whole room trembled. Amidst the noise of celebration downstairs, it passed unnoticed. “How can you _possibly_ say that to me? How _dare_ you?!” She jinxed him again, which he deflected with a Shield, panting as he recovered from her first curse. Despite her slender stature, she pinned him to the wall again, knocking his wand from his hand and placing hers like a knife on his throat. “You have _no idea_ what I’ve done for your side this past year. So don’t insult me, _werewolf_.”

He huffed. “Ah, there it is. Using that word when convenient, right, _snake_?”

She pushed against him, moving back into the room. A dull noise was buzzing in her ears, her anger was so strong. “Sirius would _never_ have betrayed James. _Over his dead body._ Someone else did it. Someone who knew where they were hiding.” She was eyeing him suspiciously, now. Raising her wand again, she asked “Where were _you_ these past weeks? Sirius said he hadn’t heard from you in a while…”

Remus pushed from the wall too, wandless but still glaring at her as if he could kill her with his bare hands. Which he could, obviously. Werewolf or not. “And now you insult _me_ by insinuating that I-“

“More likely you than Sirius.”

“Stop thinking Sirius farts rainbows, Selene!”

She pursed her lips, dropped her wand. Headed for the door. “You are a _fool_. A fool who doesn’t know his best friend.”

He stopped her, grabbing her arm, not to hurt her, but to make her see sense. “Where are you going?”

“To look for my cousin, who is Merlin-knows-where, probably drinking himself to death or, worse, trying to find the _fucker_ who sold his family off to a degenerate.” She seldom cursed out loud, but Sirius had rubbed off on her too much, and the situation was dire.

Remus didn’t release her, and his gaze softened a bit, a smidge, really, and he asked “What did you mean by ‘what you’ve done for my side’?”

Selene dropped her own gaze, huffing. “You should ask Sirius. He’s the only one who knows.”

“I’m asking _you_.”

And the intensity of his gaze upon her made her answer a shaky “I’ve warned him. Several times. Liverpool. Aberdeen. Belfast. Coventry.” Her voice had dropped an octave, but he heard her of course.

She’d warned the other side whenever her father or brother gloated about participating in a murder-mission. She’d been discreet enough that they didn’t get back to her, and Sirius had been clever enough not to make a rescue mission too obviously tied to intel.

Remus did release her at those words.

Making her look back into his lovely eyes, sad now, in a way she hadn’t been in four years. She leaned in, tentatively kissing his lips before saying ‘You’re wrong about Sirius’ and leaving the room, defeated in more ways than one.

The next time they’d see each other, she’d be under the pouring rain, and he standing under the porch of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry…

* * *

**_24 th June 1995. Dorset._ **

* * *

Sirius hadn’t come back to Selene’s house since November. She and Remus had been left to their own devices, worrying sick about him and trying to get used to life together. At first, he had been willing to leave, to find another place to stay, but she had refused, saying he was safer there, and that she was feeling safer with someone there as well. As usual, letting her wish not to see him leave pass for selfishness.

At first, it was been awkward. They often spent dinners in silence, opening a conversation before closing it immediately after. Sometimes, oftentimes, they stared into each other’s eyes, unable to speak or to act at all.

Minty had been nonplussed about the situation, even calling her Mistress a coward on occasion.

For Christmas, they’d both travelled to Hogsmeade to find Sirius and spend a cold, damp and miserable evening with him in an equally cold, damp and miserable little cave. He’d been thinner, dirtier, but he hadn’t wanted to come back home. Harry was more important.

Harry, who’d managed to defeat a dragon in his First Task, using his unparalleled Quidditch skills to fly around the beast and take its golden egg from it.

Harry, who’d displayed a remarkable sense of altruism when he tried to save everyone during the Second Task, and not only his assigned task.

Harry, who was facing the Third and last Task that very night.

Sirius was meant to come back home two days later.

Selene was worried beyond belief.

She’d gone to see the First Task, as outside public was allowed, but hadn’t dared repeat the experience after Aurus cornered her at work to ask her what in Salazar’s name she had gone to Hogwarts for. She’d pretexted feeling that Black would try to sneak in again, and he’d barely bought it.

He was becoming a bigger pain in her bottom than ever…

* * *

That night, neither she nor Remus could eat anything at dinner.

Instead, they went outside, basking in the early summer’s sun on the terrace, the quiet countryside surrounding them and their worries.

“Do you think they’ll be alright?” she asked, almost in a whisper.

He turned to her, soft, but also worried. “I think Harry will be fine. He’s surrounded by capable witches and wizards. As for Sirius…I dearly hope so.”

“If he does anything foolish tonight, I’ll _kill_ him.”

He chuckled. “I believe you.” After a pause, he added “You really care for him, don’t you?”

She turned his way as well, eyebrow raised. “Of course I do, why do you ask?”

He shrugged. “You’ve never shown this side of yourself, back when…we knew each other.” He didn’t elaborate, didn’t need to.

She sighed. “I’ve changed. I’ve had thirteen years to live without him, to miss him…” She paused, loath to admit to sentimentality, but feeling more honest than ever. “He’s my brother. My closest friend. I’ve lost him once. I can’t lose him a second time.”

Remus nodded, thoughtful for a moment. “ _Sel…_ ” he began, his voice low.

This almost made her shiver in the bright sunlight. “What?”

He sighed, too, as if gathering the famed Gryffindor courage. “Back then… Back when…” Another sigh. “When you ended things…”

She paled, turning back towards the horizon. She hated thinking about that day, and even less to talk about it.

But Remus couldn’t be sated, now. He rose from the chair he’d been sitting on, and came to stand in front of her, obscuring the setting sun from her sight. He was magnificent in that dying light, and she hated it. “When you ended things,” he repeated, “did you mean it? What you said?”

Selene pleaded ignorance. “I don’t remember what I said that day.”

“Yes, you do,” he almost hissed, anger rising in him now, and in her immediately after.

“I don’t.”

“You _do_.”

She stood to her feet, then, bent to leaving, of going back into the house to run from this conversation altogether.

But, as was a habit of his, he caught her arm before she could escape. His gaze was amber, like the sun that had disappeared behind him. “Selene, please. I need to know. You owe me the truth.” Seeing that she was about to deny him again, that she had falsely ignorant words on her lips, he asked “Did you really feel nothing for me at the time?”

The word was there, on the tip of her tongue. She only had to push it out. To form it so he’d hear. “No. I felt nothing for you. You were an experiment, that’s all.” She tried to tug her arm free, but he wouldn’t let her.

“I don’t believe you. You know why I don’t believe you?” he whispered, then.

She shook her head, almost scare of what he was going to say.

He didn’t say anything. Instead, he leaned down, and brushed his lips to hers.

For the first time in almost fourteen years, they kissed.

Selene couldn’t help but let out a pleased moan. It had been so long… Her hands rose to his hair, mussing it as she loved, and he pulled her closer, setting her body on fire hotter than a sunburn.

The kiss was passionate, but soft in essence. She loathed it for its softness, for what it meant, but she hadn’t said the words, so who cared?

She kissed Remus as if it was the first time, the last time. It was wonderful, it was consuming her. Soon, they’d forget all about the Third Task… Soon…

In the dark of night, a soft ‘pop’ made them jump from each other, and eye the small House-Elf who’d appeared a foot from them.

Minty’s eyes were brimming with tears as she stared at Selene.

Her words were even more terrifying. “Mistress… The Dark Wizard is back. Master Sirius has sent word. He came back at the Third Task of Mister Harry Potter.”

Selene blindly reached for Remus’ hand.

Not again…


	13. Traitor!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Alright, fair warning. I'm toying a bit with Black magic in this chapter (as in, the magic of the House of Black). It should be fairly simple and would not move canon around at all, actually. :)

**_August 1995. Selwyn Manor._ **

* * *

After the Dark Lord’s return to power, Selene’s life took a turn for the worst. While the past year had been almost idyllic, this one was proving to be deserving of an award.

First, Sirius and Remus disappeared from her Dorset house. Sirius sent word that he couldn’t tell her much about what they were doing, but that they were safe and in the same place. Losing them both was a low blow to her. She’d gotten used to their presence, especially Remus’, and after the kiss they had shared on the eve of the Third Task, she would have liked to share more tender moments with him.

Second, the Death Eaters who had always been gravitating around her family started hovering around as they used to in the early 80s. Aurus, having become the Head of Selwyn House, was receiving many important and equally appalling people at the Manor, and, obviously, he invited her to each of these dinners.

Selene could no longer hide behind the pretence that she was weakened because of her late fiancé’s passing and betrayal. Too much time had passed. So, she was forced to be present, to dress the part, to smile and agree with the horrors that all these men – and rarely women – vomited in-between the entrée and the main course.

The worst of all of Aurus’ old and renewed friends, of course, was Antonin Dolohov. The man who had been trying to convince her to marry him for years.

One such evening where Aurus was hosting a dinner for the Malfoys, Yaxleys and Notts, Selene found herself sitting between the abhorrent Corban Yaxley and the she hated the most in her existence, Lucius Malfoy.

“My dear Selene, tell me, has the Improper Use of Magic Office done everything it could to get rid of the Potter boy?”

Internally, the witch winced. A few weeks prior, Harry Potter had been caught using the Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle, his cousin. He’d been immediately sacked from Hogwarts and asked to surrender his wand, but Dumbledore had intervened. She believed there was a trial to be held a few days later.

She smiled, albeit coldly. “I’m _sure_ our Head of Department is doing all in her power to impede Dumbledore’s meddling. She’s quite dangerous when set on a target.”

Lucius sneered. “Is Dolores still lying about being related to your family?”

Aurus, from across the table, huffed. “As if such a creature could share blood with our noble House. Lucius, my friend, you know better than to claim such things.”

“I claimed nothing, Aurus, I assure you!” With a predatory smile, he added “Although the nobility of your blood can sometimes be put to questioning…”

Selene knew he was talking about Cassiopeia. Although Aurus was trying to hide his daughter’s weaknesses to the outside world, leeches such as Lucius Malfoy could always be counted on to find things out.

Her dear brother, however, decided to play it as if _she’d_ been the one mocked thus. “Lucius… Selene is much stronger than what she was fifteen years ago or so. She’s recovered from her…grief, and will join our ranks shortly.” He stared at her then, and it was as if a dozen daggers were piercing her eyeballs. “Won’t you, dear sister?”

Selene paled, the smile freezing on her lips. “Of course, I will. I have been waiting for that honour for _years_ , as you well know.”

“ _Indeed_ ,” Aurus answered, sarcasm dripping from his lips.

Lucius, on the other hand, delighted by the icy atmosphere of the room, chose to comment on the hand he was closest to and that was reaching for a glass of wine. “Are you still wearing that traitor’s ring, though, Selene? Is that wise?”

Selene eyed Regulus’ engagement ring, which she put back on each time she was to be in…less than agreeable public. She toyed with it, forcing tears to spring to her eyes. “Try as I might, I can’t seem to part from it. Regulus was- Despite his errors and his betrayal, he still was my intended. I’m sure you’d be equally as sentimental if Narcissa was to die, Lucius.”

The blonde clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth. “Not if she had betrayed our Lord, I don’t think. I’d burn every single one of her belongings, if that happened.”

“Then perhaps I am still too weak to join such strong-willed ranks as yours, my friends, or too soft-hearted.”

Aurus’ eyes snapped her way, the glare he sent her capable to setting the whole Manor on fire.

Selene was glad for the first time in her life to be acquainted with a Yaxley when her neighbour addressed her next, changing the subject as if oblivious. Which he wasn’t, of course. “Selene, you would be breaking poor Antonin’s heart with such words…”

With an acidic smile, she said “Alas, I’m truly sorry. I have told him countless times before that he could marry anyone much more interesting than I…” And it would be a resounding victory for her, for sure. But Antonin Dolohov was, blissfully, still imprisoned in Azkaban, and her life was much sweeter for it…

Thankfully, the topic of his failed courting steered Aurus’ glare away from her…for now.

* * *

Their ‘guests’ had left not ten minutes prior, and Selene had retired to her childhood bedroom for the night. She’d unpinned her hair when the door slammed open, making her turn around and reach for her wand.

Aurus barged in, his own wand pointing straight at her head, eyes crazed with anger as he grabbed her by the arm, hard enough to bruise. “You think I do not see what you are playing at, little _trollop_? You think I do not know how much of a failure you are?”

Selene kept her cool. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been expecting this. “What are you talking about, _brother_?”

“This _ring_ ,” he said, grabbing her hand and almost ripping the band off her finger – and her finger with it – “is as precious to you as the dust under your shoes!” He threw the ring away, grabbing her by the neck this time. “You don’t want the honour of taking the Mark. And I know why.”

“And why is that, _Aurus_?” she hissed, breath itching as he squeezed her throat harder.

“You are a filthy, Mudblood-loving, _Blood-Traitor_! I told Father, back then, that you were acting when you were trying to find excuses. I told him to interrogate you, to _punish_ you! But he was too weak, he couldn’t fathom his daughter being a disgrace. But _I_ can fathom it, and I’ll _prove_ it. _Legilimens_!”

It wasn’t the first time he was trying the spell on her. Twice before, he’d attempted it. Not knowing that Selene had had time and practice to master Occlumency on her own.

Calmly, she closed her mind off his attacks, picturing his face, seething with hatred, as he stared down at her. She pictured his face, and let him feel all the contempt and loathing she felt for him.

After ten seconds, he took a step back, panting under the effort of the spell.

Selene picked up her own wand, and smirked, cruel, implacable. “What is it, Aurus, didn’t your spell work as you intended? Aaaw, I am so sorry for you.” With a swish of her wand, her cloak flew from the wardrobe and wrapped around her shoulders. “Try something else, next time. You won’t find any proof of any betrayal anywhere.”

And she Disapparated back to her flat first, then to Dorset.

Back home.

Where she could seethe and celebrate in equal measure.

* * *

**_October 1995. London._ **

* * *

After the fiasco of that dinner, Selene was put under tight surveillance from her sick brother. Whenever she walked out of her flat – to which she Apparated back each morning to keep appearances – she would have the distinct certainty of being followed. At work, it was even worse. Some people knocked on her office door at any given time during the day, opened it, checked she was there, and excused themselves, apologizing by making it sound like they had knocked on the wrong door.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew what this meant.

Thankfully for her, Selene had resources. She was as cunning as her Hogwarts House suggested, and she knew Aurus’ modus operandi too well.

She didn’t do anything suspicious during office hours. She accepted missions only if they meant she was to be accompanied by a colleague. She never sent out notes of any kind, preferring to walk to the person directly to deliver the information loud and clear. She got home on a straight path, switched on the lights, placed wards on the doors, and Disapparated to Dorset after an hour or two, asking Minty to use her own magic to make it appear like she effectively lived in that dark and unpersonal place.

She had it nailed. She was perfect.

Until Sirius wrote to her.

He hadn’t done it in a while, knowing the scrutiny she was under. Even though her post couldn’t be intercepted, and even though she burnt his letters as soon as she’d read them, there was that slight risk that Aurus would find out.

She valued her life more than she valued having news from her cousin. Especially since he was safe, so she didn’t need to worry about him anymore…

Sirius’ newest letter was written in a hurried way, as if he had rushed to finish it and had done it in a state of nerves.

‘ _S_ ,’ it read, ‘ _I’m slowly turning mad in this place. I can’t get out; I’m stuck in these rooms that I’ve abhorred all my life and run from as soon as I was able. I’m going to flip out one of these days. Do something. Anything to distract me. This house is killing me. Literally._ _Sirius_ ’

Selene stared at the words; mouth agape.

Sirius had told her quickly that he was living in a safe-house, although she wasn’t supposed to know where it was, who he was with, or what it was a safe-house for. He had never mentioned anything that could give her any clue as to his whereabouts, until that day.

It was clear, it was too simple to understand: the house he’d been bent on leaving as soon as he could. 12, Grimmauld Place. The almost ancestral home of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. The house she’d been to countless times when she’d been engaged to Regulus.

No surprise he was turning mad. Even she would have lost her mind, locked into that forsaken place.

She didn’t have time to second guess her decision, Selene grabbed her cloak, told Minty she was quickly going out, and Disapparated away to a lonely patch of grass somewhere in London.

* * *

12, Grimmauld Place was invisible, the numbers 11 and 13 squished together as if someone had miscounted when attributing mail-boxes. But Selene knew better. Her Uncle Orion had already placed powerful charms and curses on his home, and she knew which one was causing the place to remain hidden to her knowing eye: the _Fidelius Charm_.

She couldn’t bypass that, unfortunately.

But, by a twist of fate, old Black magic was powerful enough to cancel any charm, however strong. A particular branch of that magic was Blood magic, of course, and generations before Orion Black had even drawn breath in those dark rooms within, the curse was placed upon the house.

Selene shared blood with the Head of the House of Black. Sirius. The closest heir to the previous owner. She shared blood with him. And that granted her the right to get inside no matter what. She could Apparate right in the kitchen without any of its occupants’ say so.

She didn’t know who or what was waiting for her between numbers 11 and 13. Only that she had one ally in there. Maybe two.

Perhaps it was the thought that Remus was there that made her think of the dark and horrifying hallway of Grimmauld Place and turn on the spot…

* * *

Dust made her cough, loud enough for something to bang loudly before the unmistakeable voice of Walburga Black rose into the hallway – as disgustingly dark as it had always been. “ _Another Blood-Traitor soils my halls, and this time it’s the trollop who almost married by dearest boy! Get out, you filth, before I struck you dead!_ ”

Selene started. Hadn’t Walburga died a few years back? How could she hear her voice?

Taking a tentative step forward, she then realised that the angered insults were coming from a crude portrait of the former mistress of the house hanging from the wall, heavy curtains open on either side of it.

A door slammed open nearby – the kitchen, if she remembered the place right – and she heard someone loudly curse as they ran her way. “Tonks, how many times do I-“

Stopping dead in his tracks, long hair messy, eyes crazed as he had told her in his letter, was Sirius.

With a gasp and a glance towards the door, he strode to Selene and drew her into a hug even as his mother yelled “ _Get out of my house, you disgrace! Filthy Mudblood-lovers, traitors, cowards!_ ”

Sirius squeezed Selene hard enough to make her push him away, but before he uttered another word, he forced the curtains closed again, hiding the portrait and blissfully muffling its cries.

It was suddenly silent in the hallway. Sirius gently took his cousin’s hand and led her away from the portrait and into what had once been the dining-room – and which wasn’t in use anymore, if the state of it was any clue. “ _S_ , _what_ are you doing here?”

She stared at him, surprised at his question. “You…sounded rather desperate in your letter.”

He chuckled unbelievingly. “I only asked for a distraction, not for you to come _here_!” He furrowed his brow. “How did you manage to come in anyway? The house is under a _Fidelius_!”

Selene smirked. “Someone didn’t study Black magic…” Under his quizzical gaze, she elaborated. “This house is protected by a Blood curse. Anyone sharing blood with the current Head of family can enter, no matter what charms or other curses have been put on the door. So long as the owner – that’s you – is granting the person entry, they will be able to Apparate within these walls.”

Sirius looked flabbergasted. “So, what you’re telling me is that any of our crazy relatives can-“

“Only if you _want_ them to be here. I doubt you’d let by brother within ten feet of this house, let alone Narcissa Malfoy…”

He pursed his lips. “This complicates matters…”

“Why?”

“S,” he sighed, “this is Headquarters. For our side against Voldemort. When the others know that you can come and go as you please, they won’t like it.”

She crossed her arms, angered all of a sudden. “Because I’m a supposed Death Eater?”

He sighed again. “They don’t know you. They don’t trust you.”

“Isn’t Remus here?”

“My word and Remus’ don’t hold enough power here, I’m afraid…” He seemed to think very hard about a solution to their current problem. Apparently, letting her stay wasn’t an option.

“I could just Disapparate away, you know…”

“That would be unwise, Miss Selwyn…” said a severe voice from the doorway.

* * *

Sirius and Selene’s eyes snapped to the person who’d interrupted them, his wand held at his side, loosely, but threateningly enough to anyone who had ever since Albus Dumbledore perform magic. “I hope you have a good explanation for this, Sirius…”

“I do, Albus,” the dark-haired wizard said at once, instinctively placing Selene behind him as if to protect her. “I may have told Selene I was going crazy in this place. She came to offer a welcome distraction.”

“How did you cancel the _Fidelius Charm_?” The Headmaster’s eyes were as piercing as ever, and Selene felt a shiver run up her spine.

Pursing her lips as she answered, she said “Black magic. I’m a Black, I can come and go so long as Sirius grants me entry. Don’t worry, none of our degenerate relatives can come in.”

It didn’t seem to appease him. “I’m afraid this isn’t a good enough reason for you to come here, Miss Selwyn. You see, Grimmauld Place is now hosting a group of individuals who could be put in grave danger should you ever…mention their allegiances to one of your delightful friends…”

Sirius’ eyes widened at the same time as Selene laughed darkly. She couldn’t help it. “My _friends_? Oh, Professor, do you really think yourself that clever? Those _animals_ aren’t my friends. The only two people I honestly call friends reside within these halls, and one of the two is standing right next to me.”

Again, this didn’t appease the stern-looking Headmaster.

Sirius sighed. “Albus, let her go. She’s only seen you and me, surely-“

“I _cannot_ risk it, Sirius. Mister Selwyn is too much of a danger to our organization. If he gets even a sliver of information from his sister-“

“Aurus can go rot in _Hell_ for all I care,” Selene seethed, enraged, now, that she’d be treated with such mistrust.

Dumbledore looked back at her, nonplussed. “Perhaps you do not hold him dear, but Aurus Selwyn is, unfortunately for us and you, an important informant of Lord Voldemort’s. Therefore, anyone who’d be susceptible to give him material to report is…a liability.”

A word she understood only too well…

“What do you suggest, then, Albus? She’s my cousin, my _friend_ , you can’t-“

“Miss Selwyn will remain here until I have made a decision concerning what to do with her. Bring her to an empty room. She is not to exit it under any circumstances.”

He strode out of the room then, leaving both cousins in stunned silence.

Selene then understood the full weight of his words. She was a prisoner. In her late fiancé’s home… A prisoner of war.


	14. House arrest

**_Autumn 1995. 12, Square Grimmauld._ **

* * *

Selene had to count nine days before she received her first meaningful visit. After Dumbledore had basically ordered Sirius to put her into a cell, her cousin had brought her to Regulus’ bedroom, of all places.

At first, she’d thought he honestly believed it’d have pleased her, but it wasn’t the case, as he grimaced as he opened the door and said, apologetically, “This is the only room that nobody has touched, yet. Sorry. I wish I could have given you a guest room…”

She’d stared at the name etched into the door, and nodded with pursed lips. “It’s a prison, Sirius. I think it’s fitting that I’d be stuck in the middle of painful memories…”

He had sighed, taken her wand with another apology, and bolted the door with several charms she couldn’t hope to defeat in her wandless state.

Every day, someone she didn’t see would bring her meals. The door would open, a tray would be slid into the room, and the door would close. She didn’t see who it was, and didn’t see Sirius again. The charms he’d placed on the room had certainly included a muting one, because she couldn’t hear anything from the lower levels, ever.

Instead, as she had told her cousin, she lost herself in painful memories.

* * *

Regulus had favoured his Hogwarts House colours when decorating his teenage bedroom. Despite having been engaged to marry him for years, Selene had never entered it. Propriety among Purebloods, and all that.

The walls were covered in a peeling green and silver wallpaper with volutes on them, elegantly framing the four-poster bed. The bedspread was a deeper green, more bottle-green than forest-green, while the pillows were black. The wardrobe and chest of drawers were both in mahogany with silver details in the wood; and Regulus had hung several papers above his desk. When she’d inspected them, Selene found they were either newspaper clips regarding Death Eater ‘exploits’ or schematics of Potions or spells.

She hadn’t touched anything, as if the room itself was cursed.

For nine days, she sat on the bed and thought hard. About her current situation, about what had brought her there, and most importantly, about how she could get out of there.

She was furious that Professor Dumbledore believed her evil and stupid enough to be on her brother’s side, even unwittingly. She hated the fact that he couldn’t for one moment believe she’d be agreeable to _his_ side of this upcoming war.

More than that, she found herself loathing the fact that Sirius hadn’t come to see her. Remus could perhaps not know she was there – thought it was doubtful – but her cousin and friend knew, and hadn’t tried once to come to distract or help her. She was a Slytherin, he was a Gryffindor: both those things meant he was _bound_ to try something. But he didn’t.

She lost track of time for a bit, counting the times the sun would set on the other side of those dirty windows, and started wondering if her disappearance would worry anyone. Certainly not Aurus, but perhaps a colleague? Oh, who was she trying to kid; nobody would miss her, either at the Ministry or elsewhere…

* * *

On the ninth afternoon of her captivity, the charms on the door were lifted and the door opened to reveal none other than Remus Lupin himself. He was visibly accompanied by someone who he shared a word with before his companion bolted the door behind him.

For long minutes, Selene stared at him in silence from her perch on the bed. She was torn between elation and rage. She was happy to have a visitor; and she was angry beyond belief that it’d taken him that long to come.

Apparently, he clocked the emotions she must have let transpire on her face, for he sighed deeply, taking a pace towards the bed and her. “I’m sorry, Selene. Albus didn’t want us to come see you. He gave us orders not to.”

She was decided, then. Rage it was. Pursing her lips, she coldly countered with a “And, of course, you both obeyed like the good dogs you both are…” The jab was cruel, but didn’t have much effect on the werewolf.

Surprisingly, he seemed as angry as she was. “I know, it’s completely unfair…” He sighed again, and sat on the edge of the bed. A puff of dust rose into the air, and Selene stared at it before his next question. “How are you holding up?”

She huffed. “I’m slowly losing my mind, thank you for asking…” Suddenly feeling the need to put distance between the two of them, she stood, crossing her arms as she went to stand by the window. “I’m a prisoner in a house I have never liked, in the bedroom of a person I both cared for and abhorred, and I’ve been alone for Merlin knows how long, not knowing what is going to become of me… Not to mention I haven’t had a change of clothes in days, and I _stink_.”

She heard Remus stand as well. She felt him come to stand behind her, although he didn’t try to touch her, for which she was grateful. Feeling his strength nearby was good enough for now. “Albus knows next to nothing about you. He didn’t know about your friendship with Sirius or…me.” He seemed to lose his breath at that, and she didn’t blame him: it was an appalling understatement. “He thinks you’ve always been loyal to Voldemort and your family. He doesn’t know…what you did for us.”

She turned, finding him close enough to touch, and raised her gaze to him, feeling powerless. “What good would it do to tell him all my secrets? I’d be baiting in the panther…”

Remus shook his head. “You can trust him. Dumbledore is a good man. If he knew…he would trust you.”

Selene huffed again, rolling her eyes. “How naïve you are, Remus. Albus Dumbledore has always had his own agenda concerning _everything_. And if he hadn’t, Harry Potter wouldn’t be the Boy-Who-Lived.”

Remus’ eyes turned introspective, as if he was somehow agreeing with her.

Silence fell for a moment between the two of them. Selene suddenly remembered the last time they’d seen each other. The sunset, their talk…their kiss. A blush rose to her face, and obviously, he clocked it.

His hand rose to her cheek, but he didn’t touch her, for someone opened the door and said, in a voice she didn’t recognize, ‘Time’s up, Remus’.

The werewolf dropped his hand, but before he left, he still asked “Does Sirius know everything?”

Selene shrugged. “He knows most of it.”

He nodded once, added a quiet “I’ll ask for water and clothes to be brought up” and left her alone again.

It was only after she had calmed down enough to pay attention to her surroundings that she noticed the pile of books he’d put on the chest of drawers near the door.

Distraction.

* * *

Two more days passed in that fashion. Nothing changed, except for the fact that Selene now received a jug of water everyday to clean herself with, along with a clean dress she suspected had belonged to her dreaded Aunt.

Remus didn’t come back, but she hadn’t expected him to.

She was a prisoner, she doubted she’d be let out of this hell-hole before the War was over.

The War. Sometimes, in-between re-reads of the books the werewolf had brought her, she wondered what was going out outside of 12, Grimmauld Place. Had the Dark Lord attacked? Was the world in disarray? Or had nothing changed?

Some other times, she caught herself rubbing at her left arm, where the Dark Mark would have once been branded. Her unmarred arm was, to her at least, proof that she had never truly been a part of that world.

At least she hoped.

After her midday meal was carried out of the room by the still faceless person she had started nastily calling her ‘House-Elf’, the charms were lifted once more, this time, revealing her god-forsaken cousin.

Sirius had the decency to look ashamed of himself as he came inside, gritted his teeth as he took in his younger brother’s room and its decorations before settling his grey gaze on Selene.

He looked like a contrite puppy, but that didn’t stop her from crossing her arms and glaring at him.

“Has _Dumbledore_ ordered you to come here, doggy?”

Sirius huffed, and rubbed at the back of his neck, uncomfortable. “No, he hasn’t. Just…told me I could visit. I couldn’t before, he wouldn’t let me. Or Remus.”

“Remus came to bring me books,” she countered cruelly.

He chuckled. “Albus asked him to check on you. Trusted him more than me. He still thinks I’ll try to smuggle you out of the house.” He raised his hands then. “They’ve taken my wand for now.”

Her brow furrowed. “They don’t trust _you_? What kind of allies are they?”

Sirius grinned, that mad-dog-like grin that she had grown up around. It felt good seeing it again. “You should ask them that.”

She snorted in a way she hadn’t done since she’d been a teenager, uncrossing her arms, however. “As if they’ll let me out long enough to see their faces.”

“They might,” he said, very seriously now.

She was puzzled enough to tilt her head to the side and let the matter of her imprisonment drop for now. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Remus mentioned what you did you help our side during the First War. That talking about it might make Albus and the others trust you.”

Selene shrugged. “He seems to think so. I doubt it’d change anything.”

“S,” he said, the nickname making her look back at him intently, “Dumbledore needs to know what he owes you. It might save your skin.”

“Any other day, I would jump on the occasion. Any other day, saving my skin from your side would be the top of my priorities. But unfortunately for you, Sirius, there are far more dangerous people out there than you and your gang. And when they know what I’ve done, they won’t _kill_ me, they’ll _destroy_ me.” She let herself drop on the bed, defeated.

“Aurus will not touch a hair on your head, S, I promise.”

“Aurus doesn’t scare anymore. His friends, though…” she shivered.

Sirius sat at her side, puzzled now. “Who?”

“Malfoy,” she seethed, “ that little snake. And Macnair, and Rowle, Crabbe, Goyle and Yaxley… The best of the bunch.”

“You haven’t mentioned our darling cousin…”

Selene stared at him. “Bellatrix is in Azkaban. And thank Merlin for that.”

He concurred silently.

* * *

After a few moments of peaceful conversations and even some laughter, there was a knock on the door, and none other than Hogwarts’ Headmaster entered the room, making Selene bolt to her feet.

“Professor!” she said, surprised and a bit alarmed to see him, to say the least. Sirius appeared surprised as well, but didn’t budge from his perch on his brother’s bed.

“Miss Selwyn,” the old wizard greeted coldly, nodding towards the heir of the house before turning back to her. “Mister Lupin was just telling me some very interesting things, and I thought I ought to discuss them with you.”

She felt all colour leave her cheeks. The very topic she’d wanted to avoid. For protection. As long as everybody remained oblivious to her actions in 1980 and 81, she was safe. Why oh why has she told Remus? _Idiot!_

“Did he?” she countered haughtily.

This didn’t please the man. “Miss Selwyn, I’m going to make matters clear. Remus seems under the impression that you helped the Order of the Phoenix quite a bit during the First Wizarding War and before Voldemort’s apparent demise. Although I fear that you have manipulated the poor man into believing you, I wish to know what part of what he said is true.”

Selene felt offended to her very bones. If she had been in possession of her wand, she wouldn’t have hesitated to jinx her former Headmaster. “You appear to have a rather precise opinion of me, Professor. So why don’t you just leave with your prejudice and let me be?”

Apparently, her defensive tone made him pause, for his piercing eyes stared at her as a brow raised. He turned to Sirius, and asked “I suppose you were her contact at the time, Sirius?”

The Black stood then, taking his place next to his cousin, showing he was on her side no matter what. “Not all the time. But I was.”

“Explain yourselves. I won’t ask again. Your freedom depends on whether I believe you or not.”

Selene huffed, turning to the window.

She was trapped.

Between her wish to leave these walls behind…and her self-preservation instincts.

Strangely enough, the first one won.

“Very well…” she uttered, still looking through the dirty glass.

* * *

For the next hour, Sirius and Selene regaled Dumbledore with tales of her meddling with the War. She told him all about how she’d managed to convince her father that she was too weak to take the Mark, and how he’d sneaked her inside the Ministry all the same, hoping she’d be useful.

She told him how she heard things, from both sides. How she caught wind of various operations, either planned assassinations; or rescues, and warned Sirius when it was necessary.

Amelia Bones and her family were still alive because she had told the Order – although she had ignored the name of their organization until that very morning – that Death Eaters were coming after her. She’d consistently given false intel to the other side but she’d made sure to give them correct information from time to time not to blow her allegiances.

Sirius told Dumbledore all about their friendship forged during their Hogwarts years. How she’d been the only one never to doubt him after James and Lily’s murder.

At one point, the Headmaster asked for access to certain memories, to check their authenticity. Selene gave them willingly, trapped now in the memory of her doings.

Sirius hugged her tight before leaving with the old warrior, a promise of a later visit on his lips.

* * *

The following day, Dumbledore came back, flanked by Sirius and a young witch Selene had never seen before and who had bright pink hair and a too-wide smile.

“Miss Selwyn,” he started, a weird little smile on his lips, “I’ve decided to trust you…for now. You are free to leave.” He handed her her wand, which she stared at unbelievingly for a long moment. “You can come and go as you please, but I will ask that you notify Sirius ahead of time. I will not allow you to be present during our meetings, but you can meet our members. I now consider you an ally.”

He nodded to her, apparently finished with his announcement. She stared at him, as if waiting for something that visibly wasn’t going to come. So, she asked, acidic as ever, “Aren’t you going to apologize for keeping me prisoner for _weeks_?”

Sirius muffled his laughter poorly, while Dumbledore pursed his lips. “No, I’m not. I have to return to my students. Good day to you all.”

Selene hissed at his retreating form before her cousin assaulted her for another bone-crushing hug. “You’re _free_ , S! It worked!”

“So it did,” she coughed, freeing herself from his embrace. “And, if you don’t mind, I don’t want to remain in this room for another minute.”

He grinned. “’Course. Come on, I’ll ask Molly to make you a cuppa.” She didn’t know who ‘Molly’ was, but she had a hunch it wasn’t the young witch who kept staring at her as if she was the hot wizard on the cover of _Witch Weekly_.

“Good…day,” she said, monotone.

Sirius laughed, and finally thought of introducing the two women. “Oh right! S, this is Tonks. Tonks, you know Selene.”

“Does she?”

Said ‘Tonks’ grinned too. “Yeah! We’re related!”

Selene doubted she could be related to someone who dyed their hair pink, but she humoured the girl. “Are we?”

Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders, making her wince. “Don’t worry, Tonks, she’s always this delightful. S, Tonks’ first name is Nymphadora. She’s Andromeda’s daughter. Our cousin.”

Selene’s eyes widened. Andromeda Black. Narcissa Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange’s sister. Hadn’t she married a Muggle? She pursed her lips, but nodded in greeting. “Well…nice to meet you, Nymphadora.”

The young woman shook her head annoyingly. “Nope, never use that name again, I hate it!”

Apparently, she also hated remaining discreet, as she tumbled down the stairs and woke Walburga’s infuriating portrait…


	15. The right side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, guys! To make up for it, this chapter is giving you part of what you've been pining for. :P

**_November 1995. London._ **

* * *

It was rather stupid, but as Sirius guided Selene towards the house’s large kitchen, she almost felt more an outsider than she had at the Potters’ wedding. Here, trapped between four walls, anything could happen; anyone could decide to jinx her for the sole crime of being a Selwyn.

But, apparently, her cousin had anticipated her unease, and smiled a bit as he said “Don’t worry, there’s only six of us here at this time of the week. And you know half of them.” He opened the door and descended the few steps that led into the room.

Selene had perhaps been in the Black’s kitchen once in all her life, and she couldn’t remember why, not matter how hard she tried to remember. She could honestly say that it hadn’t been this clean at the time, though. Nor as…warm?

There was the scent of soup hanging in the air, and something akin to bread, and a stout red-haired woman was charming several pots, humming to herself as she worked. Selene looked at her, wide-eyed. She had never seen a witch do her own cooking willingly, or not in passing. It was…new.

The three other people present were all men, and were sitting at the long table, joking, chuckling and showing each other various articles of the Daily Prophet. Among them, of course, was Remus, accompanied by a balding red-head and a dark-skinned wizard clad in beautiful purple robes and who was vaguely familiar.

“Oh, Sirius, Tonks, here you are!” the woman said, leaving the pots to stir themselves and wiping her hands on her apron as she came to stand in front of Selene. From the corner of her eye, the dark-haired witch saw Remus stand, but she kept her attention on the stranger facing her. “Hello, you must be Miss Selwyn! I’m Molly Weasley.”

Selene’s eyes widened further, but she didn’t comment, either on the use of a formal tone, or on the fact that this woman’s last name was notorious for belonging to Blood-Traitors. Members of the Sacred Twenty-Eight, but traitors nonetheless.

Sirius sighed. “Molly…”

“What?” the other woman said, stern, as if she was chastising her child. “Dumbledore doesn’t trust her, so I don’t!”

Selene pursed her lips. “Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t trust him either, so we’re even.”

There was an awkward silence, then Tonks started laughing loud, as if what her ‘cousin’ had just said was the funniest thing in the world.

Sirius himself smiled before gently pulling her towards the table. “Don’t mind Molly. She’ll come ‘round. Hey Remus, what have you got there?” He joined his best friend, pouring over the same newspaper clips while the werewolf still stared at Selene, as if silently asking if she was alright.

In lieu of a clear answer, she turned to the last two people present. “Good…is it morning?”

“Afternoon,” Tonks said, sitting down and grabbing a nearby piece of toast.

“Good afternoon, then, gentlemen. Thank you for letting me sit at the table.”

The red-head was the first to kindly smile at her. “Not at all. I’m Arthur. Weasley. Molly’s husband. I believe we are loosely related.”

She snorted. “Purebloods are related thirty-six different ways, these days…”

He chuckled. “Indeed. This is Kingsley Shacklebolt. You may have crossed paths with him before.”

She stared at the dark-skinned stylish wizard, and nodded. Now she remembered. “You are an Auror, aren’t you?”

“I am. And so you must understand the importance of your discretion once you leave this place.” Again, she nodded, as Sirius nudged her to force her to sit down.

“Kings wasn’t supposed to come today, but he wanted to be here when you came down.”

She looked at the man in question, puzzled. “Why trust me with this, if Dumbledore doesn’t?”

He shrugged. “I trust Remus’ judgement.”

She turned her gaze to said man, but he avoided hers pointedly.

Just before a steaming cup of tea was placed in front of her, Selene heard Sirius’ angered “And why don’t you trust _me_ when I say she’s alright?” The answer was obvious.

* * *

Selene left 12, Grimmauld Place the following day. She slept in the old library, which had been miraculously cleaned of all dark objects and somewhat redecorated, and when the sun rose, she breathed deeply before saying her goodbyes for now and Disapparating back to Dorset.

She was half-expecting to be dead before she’d see Sirius and Remus again, but obviously, she didn’t tell them that.

Minty was upon her as soon as she materialised in the hallway of her dear home, although it still felt empty without the two men that had occupied it not so long prior.

“Where has Mistress _been_? Minty has been worried sick! Minty thought Mistress had been abducted!”

Selene sighed, dropping into an armchair in the sitting-room tiredly. “Well, it wasn’t far from the truth. I was a prisoner. In Master Sirius’ old home.” The House-Elf came to stand next to her, wide eyes narrowing with surprise and also quite a bit of anger. It prompted her, unknowingly, to tell the small creature everything that had happened. Almost.

Minty was fuming by the time she was done. Selene wouldn’t have been surprised to see actual smoke come out of her ears. “Minty is going to pay a visit to that Mister Dumbledore! How uncivilized, how cruel, how rude!”

Selene could have laughed, because the sight of the tiny Elf getting all riled up was funny indeed, but instead, she raised a hand. “Don’t. I’ll handle it. For now, if you don’t mind, I’d like a warm and relaxing bath before I go to work and have to spin a convincing lie for my absence.

Minty nodded and seemed to think hard. “Mistress relax. Minty will find a good excuse.”

* * *

In the end, the most credible explanation for a near on three weeks’ absence was dragonpox. Selene had been loath to use it, but it had been must easier a lie to spin than anything else she could come up with. She applied makeup on her face to give the illusion of fading spots, and reported to Frances Bowen as soon as she was out of the lifts.

Bowen, unsurprisingly, was very much displeased with Selene’s lack of communication on the matter, but accepted her apology and lie that she was too sick to send an owl. She was sent back to her office and tasked to file in the dozens of cases that had been neglected on her desk. Off duty for another week, just in case any weird symptoms lasted.

Going in her office, Selene made a show of loudly announcing that her door had a problem, and jinxed it in a way that a simple _Reparo_ couldn’t fix it. She had hunch that she shouldn’t close that panel of wood if she wished to last the day.

She was right on that account.

She didn’t count twenty minutes since she’d sat down on her chair before her dear brother barged in, red in the face as if he’d run the whole length of London. He was visibly fuming, and she internally cheered.

“You…” he started, panting like one of those old, balding and fat men after climbing a short flight of stairs. “You…” he repeated, this time, as if he was hesitating on the word to use.

Selene smiled cruelly. “I wouldn’t get too close, Aurus. I might still be contagious.”

The red on his face turned crimson. “What… _lie_ …have you come up with, this time, you _whore_?”

She chuckled, making a show of checking something on her desk, as if totally disinterested in him. “I _love_ how your vocable always seems to involve me and countless other men, dear brother. It’s not at all improbable…”

A fist connected with the wood of her desk, making ink spill from its bottle and stain the papers she’d been checking. She didn’t vanish it immediately, instead rising her gaze to his, appearing unfazed.

“I _swear_ I will find out where you’ve been hiding from me, you _filthy traitor_! And when I do, I promise you that you will receive a house-warming visit you’ll _never_ forget!”

Selene chuckled louder, taunting him. “You don’t scare me anymore, Aurus. You did, back when I was a stupid little girl who thought her Father was right about everything. Unfortunately for you, I’ve grown a brain. Now, if you don’t mind, I have work to catch up on after being bedridden for so long. And, you’re making a scene.”

Aurus whirled around, glaring at the three people who’d come to check who had been raising their voice so loud in their tiny corridor. He may have been an Auror, but they didn’t budge.

He turned back to his sister one last time, and pointed a finger in her face. “I’ll find proof, little harlot. I’ll find it.”

With one last smile, she said “Good luck” and watched as he exited her office, still fuming. Inwardly, she hoped he had a heart-attack on his way back up to the DMLE.

* * *

**_December 1995. 12, Grimmauld Place._ **

* * *

Aurus’ threats did not scare Selene one bit, but they still hung meaningfully over her head each time she left home to go to work. She’d asked for her door to be taken off, officially, so she could breathe fresher air and avoid dragonpox after-effects. The truth was, she wanted witnesses every time her brother or his goons came down to try and scare her.

After a couple of weeks during which she daren’t go back, she wrote Sirius to ask if she could pop into Grimmauld Place to see him and other few friendly faces.

He’d asked her to come in after 5 p.m. to make sure she didn’t see any Order members she shouldn’t meet – yet – and she had done as bid.

Tonks had welcomed her with a half-hug she grimaced upon receiving – Sirius laughed a lot – and Molly had seemed a bit warmer when offering her a piece of carrot cake she’d made for the meeting.

That evening, Selene met two other Order members: the tall and beautiful Hestia Jones, and the small and stuttering Dedalus Diggle with his huge hat. Remus hadn’t been there, but Arthur and Kingsley had regaled her with stories that made her smile slightly.

After that, she decided to indulge in visits more and more often. Not to mention to give the Order information when she could ear anything of value within the halls of the Ministry. Since Aurus had lost all faith in her, she wasn’t welcome in his circle…but she had her ways.

* * *

One evening, a bit before Christmas break, she decided to spend the night. Sirius had told her the library was now officially ‘her’ room, and he’d asked Arthur to install a screen at the end of the room with a daybed and some blankets. She was touched.

Alastor Moody, whom she’d met only once before and who obviously didn’t trust her as far as he could throw her, had just left with Tonks for some Auror business, leaving the house in the custody of Sirius, Remus and Selene. The Weasleys had kept to their own home, for once.

“So…” Sirius started, letting his long hair hang low in his face like the teenager he wasn’t anymore, “what are you two drinking?”

Selene pursed her lips. “Sirius…I’m _not_ getting drunk.”

Remus nodded his assent. “Neither am I, Pads.”

“Spoil sports, the both of you…” The dark-haired wizard stood from the table, heading to a buffet where were kept various bottles of wines, liquors and spirits. He seemed to know what each one tasted like intimately. “Besides, it’s time you knew what bliss feels like, cousin.”

Remus immediately turned his green and amber gaze to hers, a brow raised in surprise. “Have you never gotten drunk, Sel?”

She liked that nickname far too much for what it was worth… Huffing, she said “Of _course_ I have. _Alone._ ”

Sirius snorted, head buried in the furniture, clinking sounds the only clue that he was still looking for something specific. “Yeah, well, we need proof.”

Cruel, implacable, she said “First time I got drunk was when your brother died. Second time when you got imprisoned. Third time when you broke out of jail.”

Sirius turned around so quickly he bumped quite hard into the wood with a loud ‘Ow!’, and he faced her, eyes wide, a dusty bottle of what looked like Firewhiskey in his hand. “ _What?_ ”

She shrugged. “Yes, well, I didn’t really feel that good for either of these circumstances, so-“

“-You’ve only gotten drunk _three times_ in your entire life?!” Apparently, that was more preposterous than the reason for her drunkenness. Fair enough.

Remus chuckled, although not at her, but at his best friend. “Not all people in this world are as naughty as we once were, old friend…”

Selene turned to the werewolf, her turn to be surprised. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Sirius grinned as he uncorked the mysterious bottle and poured amber liquid into three shot glasses. “Oh, right… Second Year, wasn’t it? Prongs had nicked a bottle from his old Dad when we went to Potter Manor for Easter… Hurt like a bitch the following morning, but totally worth it.”

Selene grimaced, affronted. “You two got drunk when you were _twelve_?”

“Thirteen,” they both countered, as if _that_ was any better.

“And not again until Fifth Year, by the way,” Sirius said with the same fond grin. “We were celebrating our first successful transformations, right Moony?”

The werewolf’s gaze turned fond as well. “Yes, that was a good night to remember.”

“I never asked,” Selene said, a bit curious now, even as she pointedly ignored the glass her cousin had placed in front of her on the table, “what did James turn into?”

Both friends shared pained but fond glances, and Remus answered. “James was a stag.”

“Endless jokes material,” Sirius sighed in nostalgia, emptying his own glass in one long gulp.

Selene stared at him, severe. “You shouldn’t drink this fast.”

“Yes, Mum,” he joked, pouring himself another, then raising his now filled glass. “A toast. To lasting friendships, and true family.”

He almost made her want to raise her glass too. Almost.

* * *

Two hours later, the Firewhiskey was no more, and Sirius had indulged a bit too much. Remus had drunk about five glasses himself, but with more moderation, while Selene had only been coerced into tasting one. She had to admit that the brew was quite tasty, even if she didn’t ask for another pour.

“Guys, I’m plastered. Heading off to bed.” Sirius wobbled on his way to the door, making Remus chuckle at his state.

The sound made Selene stare at him, almost in awe. She had always been quite partial to Remus’ laughter. Or to his entire person, to be more precise.

It was quite alright, until he caught her looking.

They stared at each other silently for another long moment, and although she hadn’t had more than one shot of Firewhiskey, Selene found herself start to blush.

In a vain attempt to defuse the moment, she calmly said “We should make sure Sirius doesn’t become alcoholic.”

Remus nodded, because it was a viable concern and an important topic, but instead of answering right away, he gently reached for her hand on the table, and took it in his own.

Her breath caught.

“Sel,” he said, half-whispering, “back in June…”

The blush came back tenfold. Oh. Yes, of course. That evening. That magical moment in her garden. The sunset. The kiss… She’d hoped he’d never bring it up again, but she had been quite wrong in her assessment of the man, it seemed. “What about it?”

He leaned forward, not close enough, but closer, a small smile tugging on his lips. “I had been on the verge of making you admit you loved me.”

She huffed, though she did not pull her hand free from his grasp. “You weren’t on the verge of making me admit anything.”

“Are you sure about that?” The smile that appeared was teasing for a moment, then it turned pained. “Sel… It’s been eighteen years… I deserve the truth, don’t you think?”

Her heart skipped a beat. Eighteen years? How had time passed so quickly? To her, the first moment she had set eyes on him, in a library far North in Hogwarts, could have been only moment prior… She gasped, and he seized her moment of weakness.

“Did you truly never feel anything for me at all?” And, just to dig her grave and bury her in it, he added, quietly, softly, like a simple breath, “Because I was and still am quite in love with you, you know…”

Her eyes widened the size of saucers, and Selene froze, unable to compute what had just been said. Love. Love was for kids, it was a fake thing, a fairy tale that mothers told their daughters about to make them accept marriage easier. It didn’t exist. It couldn’t exist.

But then, what else could she call the way her heart stopped whenever Remus looked at her? The butterflies that flew in her stomach when they kissed? The raging fire she felt when he wasn’t near? What was it, if it wasn’t love?

Her epiphany must have shown on her face, because he smiled again, closer still than he’d been, and asked, quieter still, almost inaudible now, “Please say it.”

Selene let go of her principles then, and she leaned in, kissing him gently before breathing against his lips a secret “I love you too, Remus.”

And just like that, it was said.

And just like that, they kissed each other again, soft, gentle, loving. If Selene wasn’t wrong, she also was crying.

Problem was?

Sirius had come back down for a glass of water…

“ _What the freaking fuck?!_ ”


	16. Harry

**_18th December 1995. 12, Grimmauld Place_ **

* * *

Sirius was not really happy to find his cousin and his best friend entangled. He was much less pleased to learn that they had been in a secret relationship for several months back in Hogwarts. He was _livid_ when he was told they had indulged in a few moments along the years…

But, thankfully, after he’d sobered up and been told it was none of his business after all, he’d given Remus his blessing, and told Selene she was a damn right Blood-Traitor after all. She’d not been very glad of that, but it was the truth, after all.

That being said, despite admitting their feelings to one another, Selene and Remus kept their rekindled love a secret from the other Order members. Selene – because it was her request, obviously – had claimed she was scared that her reputation would taint Remus’ and that his colleagues and friends would trust him less if they knew. In reality, she was scared shitless.

Because, now, she wasn’t the only one to be under threat. If anyone of ‘the other Side’ learnt of their affair… She regularly shuddered just to think about it.

* * *

The house was empty again, as it was sometimes. Sirius had gone to feed the Hippogriff he kept in his mother’s bedroom – Selene had flipped when he’d admitted to that, not because she was offended he was defiling his horrid mother’s private room, but because Hippogriffs were…well…dangerous – and Remus and her were once again left to their own designs.

They’d retreated to his assigned room – one of the many guest bedrooms of the house – and were both reading. Remus was reading a book on Defensive Charms, something he was prone to do; and Selene was engrossed in a novel she’d found in the library. Some fantastical story about Dwarves and Knights and Dark, very Dark Magic.

When the sun had set on the other side of the still dirtied windows – no one had managed to really clean them properly, apparently – Remus closed his tome and flicked his wand, lighting a few candles around the room and hovering a new log to the ambers of the fire.

Selene turned to him from her perch on the room’s lone armchair, raising a brow. “Have you already finished that enormous book?”

He chuckled, watching her from the bed. “Far from it, but I was thinking we ought to stop reading. And do something else.”

She closed her own book, pursing her lips. “What do you have in mind, werewolf?” She was using the term as a pet name, now, and he visibly didn’t mind. It kind of desecrated the vile power it had once held as an insult. “Don’t say anything crass…”

He chuckled again, this time standing, barefoot, to join her side of the room. “Nothing crass. I promise.” He held a hand out, and she stared at it blankly, unsure about what he meant to do.

Her hesitation was not born out of mistrust, because she trusted him intimately, but because she had no idea of what was about to happen, and she didn’t like not anticipating everyone’s moves all the time.

At long last, she let him pull her to her feet, and he gently leaned down to peck her softly on the lips. But because he knew it might have been taken the wrong way, he pulled back as gently, and asked, cautious, “Would you mind if we held each other?”

Selene’s eyes widened. They kissed a lot, it was true; sometimes, it even got quite heated and hands started to wander, but…holding each other? They hadn’t done that yet…

He caught her surprise. “We sit on the bed, hug each other. It’s nice, and we can talk about whatever we want.”

Selene thought hard. She wasn’t against shows of affection, so to speak. She just wasn’t familiar with what they entailed. Her family hadn’t been very keen on affectionate gestures, and she was somewhat worried she would not be adequate in her own fumbles.

But, because, after all, she had thrown her old life out the window a long time prior, she decided that there was only one last door to shove open, and she wanted to bring it down badly. Especially when Remus was staring at her in firelight, his eyes now fully amber thanks to the flames.

So, she raised her hands to his face, and said, serious as ever, “I’d rather you made love to me.”

Remus’ shock went through his whole frame, she felt him shiver with it. “Are… Selene, you’ve never…”

“No, I haven’t, that’s true, as you well know. But I love you, and apparently, you love me, and I want that. And I want it now.”

He smiled, one of those unbelieving smiles. “But…we are not married. I know it’s important, for Purebloods-“

“I don’t consider myself a Pureblood anymore,” she countered with a smirk. “And I’m more than fine with it. I won’t mind breaking one last stupid rule… And now, stop talking, Remus…”

She leaned up to kiss him fully on the lips, putting a bit more force into it than she had meant.

With one last surprised gasp, he flicked his wand to place a Muffling Charm on the door, and brought her into his arms. “Whatever Madam requires.”

Ooh, she liked this kind of talk…

* * *

“S! Moony! Get downstairs, you fuckers!”

Selene startled awake, the chill of the night hitting her naked skin. Beside her, Remus did the same, grabbing his wand in a move that she wasn’t happy was instinctive.

For a moment, their state brought a blush to her cheeks, but they didn’t have time to ponder on their actions of a few hours prior. Sirius had called them. Rather urgently. Urgently enough to wake his mother’s portrait.

Remus sauntered out of the covers to put on some clothes, and Selene stared without an ounce of shame, desire rising in her at the sight of his sexily scarred body. When he caught her eye, his own gaze turned darker, and he hissed. “Let’s go see what he wants. Then we can be back up here in no time.”

She smirked. “Is that a promise?”

He sealed it with a lingering kiss, and then, she deigned get dressed herself.

Sirius didn’t comment on the fact that she was wearing the same dress as the previous evening, which was a testament to how grave the situation was.

He was in the kitchen, pacing back and forth like a mad dog in a cage.

“Pads, what is it?” asked Remus at once, worry painting itself on his face.

The dark-haired man turned to his friend and his cousin, eyes crazed. “Arthur has been attacked while on duty. He’s…” he faltered, “we don’t know if he’s gonna make it.”

Selene’s eyes widened. She didn’t know Arthur Weasley very well, but she sure didn’t wish the man any ill! “What happened? Was he cursed?”

Sirius shook his head. “No, he was bitten. Repeatedly.” Remus lost all colour in his face, so his friend clarified at once. “By a giant snake. So Phineas said.”

The werewolf breathed easier at that, while Selene felt herself freeze.

A giant snake.

Didn’t the Dark Lord own a giant snake? Aurus had threatened her with feeding her to it several times, after all…

Sirius carried on, oblivious to her absent-mindedness. “The kids are coming. It’ll be easier to go to Saint Mungo’s from here, I guess…” Then, he paused, as if realising something. “Phineas…he said Harry was coming too.”

Remus’ eyes widened in surprise. Selene understood. Harry Potter wasn’t a Weasley… “Why is Harry coming as well? Has something happened to him?”

Sirius shrugged, but he was far away now, a strange smile appearing on his lips. “I dunno. But he’s coming here. Harry’s spending the holidays _here_.” He met his friend’s gaze, a wide grin now on his lips, as if he’d forgotten all about Arthur Weasley’s state. “Harry’s coming. **_Kreacher!_** ” he then yelled, making Selene jump in fright as he ran off in search of the house’s rebel and disgusting House-Elf.

She turned to Remus, worried, very worried. “What’s gotten into him?”

Remus smiled sadly. “Harry’s his godson, and…Sirius has been feeling quite lonely lately.”

She huffed. “Well, thanks.”

He placed a gentle hand on her cheek. “We’re not James, Sel…”

She nodded, while muttering “Neither is Harry…”

* * *

A few minutes later, the couple was startled again as a Portkey popped five people into the kitchen, all in their nightwear and having obviously been crying a few moments prior.

Four of them were gingers, and Selene understood they were Arthur and Molly’s children. Three lanky boys, with two sturdier-looking twins; and one dainty but fierce-looking girl; all accompanied by a boy with round glasses, unkempt dark hair and a distinctive scar on his forehead.

Remus sprung into action, welcoming the siblings and friend inside. “Fred, George, Ron, Ginny, Harry, come here, sit down. I’ll make you some tea.”

The two twins plopped down into chairs in a synchronized move, and simultaneously asked “Don’t you have Butterbeer instead, Remus?”

Selene stood awkwardly at the edge of the table, until Harry Potter, the saviour of the Wizarding World, ran off out of the room, quite green in the face, as if he was going to be sick. She stared after him, wondering if a stranger should follow him and make sure he was alright, but instead, she let the sound of Sirius’ hurried pace catch up with the boy.

“Who are you?” then asked the girl – Ginny – in a stressed-out voice. Her blue eyes were staring right at Selene, and her brothers mirrored her a second later, as Remus was placing dusty bottles of Butterbeer in front of each of them.

“This is Selene. She’s Sirius’ cousin. And a friend.” She was grateful for the calming tone he used, not for the ‘f’ word.

“Hi,” she said, sitting down a bit further down the table. “I’m afraid I don’t know your names, but I’m happy to meet you all. If you need anything and Remus and I can help, we will.”

Ginny nodded again, before turning to her bottle, deciding she didn’t want to drink, and leaned down to place her head on one of the twins’ lap. Her brother started petting her hair at once, in an automatic but soothing way.

Silence fell over the kitchen at Grimmauld Place. All they had to do now, was wait… And hope.

* * *

After what felt like an age, Sirius emerged into the room, his arm wrapped around his godson’s shoulders as the young boy – well, technically speaking, he was fifteen, but still – looked down at his feet, as if torn between exhaustion and shame.

Selene didn’t understand either feeling, but she quickly got an answer to her inner questions.

One of the twins – the one not having his sister dozing off on his lap – watched the dark-haired boy approach with an ounce of curiosity in his eyes. “Harry! Are you feeling better?”

All he received as an answer was a groan, a nod and a sigh as he plopped down onto the farthest chair away from the others.

Remus was staring at him worriedly, sharing a glance with Sirius, who shrugged.

“Harry,” Ginny asked then, straightening onto her chair, no longer looking half-asleep, “will you tell us what happened, now?”

All Weasleys turned in synchronisation, although Selene noticed that the lankiest boy – Ron, was it? – didn’t appear as curious as the others. She immediately got her suspicions that he already knew the whole story. Which made her even more curious about the whole thing.

Harry sighed again, and as Sirius sat down next to him, his gaze settled on a knot in the wood of the table. He didn’t look elsewhere for the next twenty minutes.

“I got…some sort of…vision.” Selene’s eyes widened, surprised, but to her puzzlement, nobody else appeared equally taken-aback. “I was…I saw… I was…at the Ministry. I recognized the tiles, I was in the Department of Mysteries.”

At that she leaned forward, entranced. She wasn’t privy to anything Order-related, apart from the names of its members, and she felt like this would give her an insight into what they were up to. Not for leverage, of course. Just for knowledge’s sake.

Harry continued, oblivious to the stares upon him. “Mr Weasley was sitting on a chair, guarding…something I didn’t see. There was a snake coming in, Voldemort’s snake. Nagini. She got close to him, and then she…she bit him. Again and again and again… And then I woke up.”

When Selene looked around her, she noticed that Ginny and the twins had tears rolling down their cheeks, although no sound came out of their mouths, while the other boy – Ron, she tried to remind herself – looked at his friend intently, as if sharing something by the means of their eyes.

Remus looked pained, compassionate, and she understood why: witnessing such violence at such a young age must have been horrifying.

Sirius, when his godson was done retelling the frightful experience, wrapped his arm around his shoulders again, and the teenager welcomed the embrace, despite remaining quite tense.

“Is Mum here?” asked a twin.

Sirius shrugged. “I don’t think she’s been told yet. The most pressing matter was getting you out of Hogwarts before Umbridge could get her claws into you all.”

Selene’s eyes widened again. Umbridge? Dolores Umbridge, former Head of the Improper Use of Magic Office? What was she doing at Hogwarts? Had she missed something? Apparently, she had, and she didn’t like it one bit.

In the following minutes, the Weasleys were all ready to storm out the door in their pyjamas to hike all the way to Saint Mungo’s to see their father. Sirius and Remus wisely advised them not to, because they wouldn’t be able to give a reason for their knowing without exposing Harry’s ‘vision’.

* * *

It became quite obvious that waiting in silence for news was only going to make the siblings and friends feel every minute tick by like a vile and long torture. Drinking Butterbeer again wasn’t a good idea either, and sleep was out of the question.

So, instead, Sirius steered the conversation onto his cousin, throwing her under the proverbial Erumpent hooves. “Harry, have you met Selene yet?”

The boy raised his gaze to her for a split second, making her see his green eyes for the first time, before he shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”

The others looked at them, vaguely interested but thirsting for distraction.

“Well,” the soon-to-be-murdered-by-his-cousin wizard continued, “Selene Selwyn, meet Harry Potter. Harry’s my godson, as you bloody well know; and Selene is my only sane cousin. Safe for Tonks, of course.”

That seemed to pique the boy’s interest as well, for his straightened on his chair too. “I thought all your cousins were murderers or Death Eaters.”

Selene huffed, “Well, I’m not a Death Eater, but I _might_ become a murderer soon if Sirius doesn’t shut up this instant.” This, of course, earned her a smirk from the very same idiot, and a quiet chuckle from Remus. Traitor.

Harry tilted his head to the side. “Are you in the Order?”

“Ah, no, I am not. See, Professor Dumbledore doesn’t trust me, because my dear brother is scum and I was…well…secretive in my allegiances until very recently. I was in Slytherin House, when we were at school, and having four Gryffindor sort-of friends wasn’t something I could afford to flaunt about.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Must you always speak like a fucking posh-pot, S?”

She smirked. “I must. If only to counter your _bloody_ foul mouth.” That earned her an amused little smile from at least two of the Weasleys, from what she saw.

Harry, on the other side, had caught on something else. “ _Four_ friends? You knew my Dad, then?”

Selene pursed her lips. What was she supposed to say? Sure, now, she could almost think about James Potter as a friend; but had he really been? She didn’t even know his middle name, or where he’d lived!

But she could, at least, share some memories. Fond ones, or annoying ones that would make Remus and Sirius laugh. “Yes I did. The bastard had the gal to throw snow down my robes once. I’d come to apologize to my stupid cousin about something and he snuck up on me. Suffice to say I got revenge, in the end.” Pausing, she reminisced. “I still don’t understand how he came behind me without my noticing.” What she did notice was the knowing glance between Sirius, Remus and Harry. “Oh, I see. You _know_ how he did it.”

“Sorry, S,” Sirius said, smirking again, “family trademark. Can’t tell.”

“Last I checked, you two weren’t Potters.” She crossed her arms on her chest, annoyed, as usual.

“Honorary members, right Harry?”

The boy nodded, looking a bit jollier than a few minutes prior.

So Selene conceded that, perhaps, recalling some moments from their studies was a good distraction, after all…


	17. Alterations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, people! I got a bit side-tracked by a shitty week at work! To make up for it, here is a long-ass chapter with plenty of fluff!

**_Christmas 1995. 12, Grimmauld Place._ **

* * *

Christmas. Almost a foreign concept to Selene, who’d always spent what was supposed to be a happy occasion sulking in a dark corner at Selwyn Manor. The possibility of sharing gifts in Janus’s household was not, apparently, to be ever considered, except to save appearance, and she had grown up not knowing what a truly joyous occasion the 25th December was in reality.

Obviously, she’d been invited to Grimmauld Place for the occasion. Her falling out with her brother gave her the perfect excuse not to go to Aurus’s planned ‘celebrations’ – another Death Eater meeting, more like – and she’d spent one surprisingly cheery morning hanging out decorations with the kids.

She found that Molly and Arthur’s children – at least the four that she’d met, knowing there were three elder ones she hadn’t yet seen – were quite agreeable. Fred and George were always prompt to prank and joke, their mood lifting that of the whole house; Ron and Harry were often joined at the hip, like brothers, and appeared to understand each other without words, which reminded her of Sirius and James, back in the day; and Ginny was a fiery little thing, far too mature for her young age.

And, if someone hung mistletoe in the hallway, it was a pure coincidence that Remus caught her under it. Absolutely unintentional.

One day, a young witch with bushy brown hair arrived, announcing herself as Hermione, Harry and Ron’s best friend, and she didn’t waste any time in seeking out the Boy-Who-Lived, who’d been avoiding everyone for days.

The atmosphere inside this old and gloomy house was lighter than ever. Sirius was the happiest he’d ever looked, and was spending every waking hour singing Christmas songs at the top of his lungs, uncaring if he woke his mother’s portrait as a consequence. Selene was happy he was happy, but knew that it’d all be snuffed out as soon as school started again. Her heart ached for her cousin, and she wished she could whisk him away back to Dorset, where he at least could be freer.

* * *

On Christmas morning, Selene woke up to the soft kisses of one very jolly werewolf. Groaning a bit, she playfully pushed him away to steal a few more minutes of sleep, but he just embraced her from behind, and whispered a ‘Merry Christmas, Sel’ that made her open her eyes, suddenly remembering the day.

Turning in his arms, she retaliated with a little ‘Merry Christmas, Remus’ that he kissed away.

A little pile of presents waited at the foot of the bed. Selene, who’d snuck into Remus’s room the previous night, expected the half-dozen packets to be solely for him, but soon found that hers had been placed upon the same pile.

“I’ve got presents?” she asked, incredulous.

Remus wrapped an arm around her, kissing her temple. “As I said, ‘Merry Christmas, Sel’.”

Honestly, she’d deny the smile that split her whole face when she leapt out of bed, nightgown too thin for the chill in the air as she searched for the name tags bearing ‘Selene’, ‘S’ and ‘Sel’.

Sirius had offered her a book titled ‘ _How to get rid of toxic family members_ ’, on the inside of which he’d written ‘ _Except me, of course_ ’. She snorted as she put it aside, and picked up a formless package signed ‘ _Arthur and Molly_ ’. She looked at Remus, who showed her a similar gift, a small smile on his lips.

It appeared that Molly Weasley liked to knit Christmas jumpers for her family members, and that she’d decided to add Selene, Remus and, probably, Sirius, to the mix. While Remus’s was decorated with tiny toffees – his love for chocolate universally acknowledged – and Selene’s had an assortment of moons and glittering stars. ‘Selene’, after all, was the Goddess of the Moon.

“I’ve…” she cut short, unable to form an appropriate answer to such a gift, from a person she barely knew and who’d initially antagonized her.

Remus then pushed a smaller package towards her, “Come on, only two left.”

That one was from Minty. Selene had sent her House Elf a box of scented soaps for her toga, and the tiny creature who had shared her days for years had made her a new dress, threaded with green and gold embroidery. Selene wondered if Minty had merely been mixing Slytherin and Gryffindor colours, or if she had been thinking of Remus’s eyes.

Said Remus had unwrapped Sirius’s gift for him, a bottle of very old but apparently very tasty Gigglewater. Selene suspected it’d come from the buffet downstairs.

The only thing left for her to open was the tiniest box possible, void of label or note, which she knew, of course, had come from the lovely man sitting next to her on the floorboards. She carefully opened it, and gasped when she saw the bracelet lying inside.

It was silver, and was made up of links in the shapes of all the phases of the moon. The clasp was glittering with a small bit of amber.

She turned to face Remus, who’d been watching her reaction. He smiled softly and leaned down to kiss her gently on the lips. “So that you have something to remember me by wherever you are.”

Selene smiled too, chuckling a “You are such an abhorring romantic” that made him chuckle too before they tumbled to the floor in a heap of happy limbs…

* * *

Christmas lunch was spent in agreeable company, after everyone had had time to thank each other for the presents they’d received. Molly and Arthur’s eldest son, Bill, had joined the table for the occasion, along with Tonks and Mad-Eye Moody.

Bill was tall and handsome, his long red hair held by a piece of leather and an earring made of a snake tooth making him look like a rock star. He also was rather funny.

Selene had sat down next to her cousin, who’d kissed her soundly on the cheek to thank her for the hair and beard-grooming kit she’d gotten him. Remus was sat facing her, Tonks next to him, and there lied the problem.

Tonks had a visible crush on Remus. She was always smiling at him, batting her eyelashes and giggling at everything he said, funny or not. Once or twice, Selene saw her touch his arm or hand as if in passing. She almost felt like growling.

Sirius found it hilarious, and earned himself a kick in the shin.

When Remus offered to accompany the Weasleys the Saint Mungo’s to go and see Arthur, Selene cornered him in the hallway, a dark look in her eyes.

He laughed, swooping her into an embrace and kissing her gently. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Her kiss turned biting, as if she was trying to mark him. With an actual growl, she let him go and said, serious as ever, “Don’t _ever_ let her do that again, or I’ll curse both of you to kingdom come.”

He had the audacity to laugh even louder.

* * *

**_January 1996. Dorset._ **

* * *

The rest of the Christmas break passed rather soothingly. Sirius was the happiest she’d seen him in years. Having the company of so many people and of his godson truly did marvels on his spirits; but as expected it all went down the drain when they left to go back to school.

Soon, Grimmauld Place went back to a place of passage for Order members, and even Selene spent less and less time there, both to be cautious and to spend some alone time with Remus, who had started visiting her again at her home in Dorset.

The first time she Apparated back into her own walls, Minty accosted her, wide eyes worried and bad news on her lips: the London flat had been searched, and all her Mistress’s belongings that had remained there had been damaged.

Selene knew quite well who had done the deed: Aurus. She hadn’t reappeared at work for a few days, after all, not to mention she’d ignored his invitation for Christmas, and he was still convinced he’d find proof of her ‘betrayal’ either in her office or in her flat. He didn’t know that she didn’t live there. He didn’t know that everything of true value was hidden away somewhere he’d never be able to reach.

She’d shrugged, annoyed but not sad, and told the House Elf that she was no longer required to keep the flat in proper order: as far as she was concerned, it didn’t belong to her anymore. Minty admitted that she was glad, because there was too much work to do at the House. Selene rolled her eyes. House Elves…

* * *

One evening, on what happened to be her day off, she was enjoying a cup of tea when someone Apparated in the corridor, soon to be greeted by Minty.

The tiny creature appeared in the sitting-room, eyes wide but a smile on her face. “Mistress has a visitor. It’s Mister Remus.”

A smile painted itself on Selene’s lips without her meaning to. He had the power to render her mushy like those teenage girls she loathed so much. Expecting this to be an agreeable surprise, she rose to her feet to come and kiss him, but his gaze alone stopped her dead on tracks.

He looked sorry. Angry, also, and very worried.

“Remus?” she asked immediately, her thoughts going to Sirius. “What’s going on?”

“Sel,” he said, grabbing her hands, “I’ve just learnt, but I needed to tell you before you went into work tomorrow…” She furrowed her brow, then, wondering what would concern both her work and him. “There’s been a massive breakout in Azkaban. They’re blaming in on Sirius, of course, but…”

His tone, his trailing out and the way he was holding her hands made her understand at once. “Bellatrix. She’s one of them, isn’t she?”

“Yes,” he said, a dread ran up her spine. She’d always been lucky enough to mostly avoid her distant cousin’s presence at family gatherings, but she knew one thing: she was crazy, and like a dog with a bone, she'd stop at nothing to destroy those she deemed to be dirt under her boot. Namely: the Blood-Traitors on her family tree. “But there’s more.”

Selene squeezed his hands. “Rodolphus, I suppose. And Rabastan, most likely.”

“And Dolohov,” he said, apologetic.

More than Bellatrix, this made her freeze, then shiver. Antonin Dolohov. The man who’d desired her to become his wife for years before he’d been arrested. The man who Aurus had threatened her with. The man who wouldn’t hesitate to take from her what was most precious: Remus. The only thing standing between him and their imagined nuptials.

Remus pulled her into an embrace, sensing her distress. “I promise you, I will not let them get close to you. They won’t touch a hair on your head.”

Selene squeezed her eyes shut. His promise of protection was exactly what she dreaded. The only thing she truly dreaded, in fact…

* * *

**_March 1996. 12, Grimmauld Place._ **

* * *

As would have been expected, the Azkaban breakout resulted in a rise in violence against Muggleborns and Muggles. Obviously, the Ministry’s official statement was that Sirius was wreaking havoc in his ‘Master’s’ name, which made both he and Selene livid.

She was more and more scared to go out in public alone. Sure enough, she’d let go of the pretence that she lived in London, but whenever she went to work, she felt stared at, scrutinized, followed. It was more stressful than anything else she’d ever experienced.

Remus, who spent more nights at her place than elsewhere, had told her not to worry, that her fears were probably not that founded, but in mid-March, she was asked to come to Grimmauld Place to meet Dumbledore.

She should have known.

The Headmaster was accompanied only by Kingsley Shacklebolt, and when Selene arrived with Remus – not hand in hand, though, she wasn’t that sappy – and Sirius sat on her other side, she felt protected from whatever was going to be thrown on top of her head.

Dumbledore looked grave, and almost apologetic, as he greeted her with a calm “Miss Selwyn, thank you for coming. Kingsley and I have decided that it was more prudent to meet you as soon as we got the message, instead of waiting any longer.”

She furrowed her brow, crossing her arms just in case. “What is it?”

Kingsley sighed, sharing a glance with the older wizard. “Miss Selene, I’m sorry, but we received intel that a prize has been put on your head by your brother. He’s tasked the Death Eaters to find you and bring you to him by any means possible.”

Selene felt herself freeze, as if a bucket of icy water had been poured over her head. “What? Wh-when?”

“An hour ago,” Dumbledore answered. “Our source made sure to tell me as soon as he was aware. Despite our differences, I do not wish you any harm. Besides, you now know too much about the Order not to protect you.”

“Is it really Aurus who put a prize on her head?” Remus asked, lips pursed. “Wasn’t it Bellatrix, or Dolohov?”

Dumbledore appeared interested by this supposition. “No, it _was_ Mr Selwyn. I am not privy to the details, however.”

Selene sighed. “So, what am I supposed to do?”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say that you are no longer safe within the Ministry halls. I therefore advise you to stop going to work from then on. As for your home…” he eyed Sirius, “I’ve been told it’s sufficiently protected, but one can never be too prudent. I’d rather you stayed here for the time being.”

“ _Here?_ ” She looked around the room. Sure, the house was much warmer than it had once been, but she didn’t want to live there! “Am I a prisoner again, Professor?”

“No, not at all, Miss Selwyn. And I apologize for the way you were treated last autumn. However, as your cousin knows well, Grimmauld Place is the safest house in all of England. And I’m certain that both he and Remus will keep you company.”

“What about my Elf?” she asked, pulling out her last card. “I can’t leave her alone at home without warning! Last time, she almost went up to Hogwarts to give you a lesson in manners!”

That made Kingsley chuckle in surprise.

Sirius and Remus smiled, with the former adding a “Fierce, that Minty of yours.”

Dumbledore, however, didn’t budge. “I’m sorry, but I would prefer if you remained here. However, I can authorize you to go back home for an hour, to pack the essentials and warn your…Minty. Remus and Kingsley will go with you, just in case.”

Kingsley’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, Albus, but I have never been to Miss Selene’s home, and as I understand it, she made sure no one knew where it was except for a trusted few…”

Selene felt her lips form a tight smile. “At long last, someone who respects personal boundaries. Thank you, Mr Shacklebolt. You’re welcome to come with us. I trust you well enough. And I still could Obliviate you afterwards.” The serious tone of her voice made him chuckle in surprise once more.

Dumbledore stared at her, piercing eyes severe as he concluded with a “One hour, Miss Selwyn. Not one minute more.”

Merlin, she hated that meddling man…

* * *

**_18 th June 1996. 12, Grimmauld Place._ **

* * *

Time passed, and Selene loathed every single minute of it. Being trapped inside this house, unable to even go out to take a breath of fresh air, was excruciating, and just like her cousin, she found her psyche failing her.

Every day that passed saw her gloomier. She often locked herself in the library, huddled in her day bed, wishing nothing more than to be dead to the world to be awarded some peace at long last. Obviously, it was not to be, and Remus saw to it that she at least felt loved.

The Order members that came in were not helping, what with their pitying glances and ‘sorry’ that Selene felt dig into her bones.

Sirius and her were miserable for months on end, without any kind of light at the end of the tunnel, which was even more infuriating.

In fact, one of the few days of happiness she knew after Christmas was one morning, when Sirius fetched her to show her the family tapestry. He’d been blasted off it by Walburga back in 1977, and she was well-acquainted with the other people who’d been burnt off it – Andromeda, and Uncle Alphard, for example.

The surprise was to see her own face blasted off existence, the word ‘Selene’ stained with the soot of a curse. She’d been officially ostracized from the Selwyn family, and therefore the Black.

Sirius and her shared a glance. It was stupid, but she felt lighter than she had in years, and they both celebrated with a drink she indulged in, for once.

* * *

All of that imploded, though, on the last days of spring.

It was the end of the afternoon, and Sirius and Remus were playing chess in the study, Selene watching them with pursed lips, on the verge to tell them that their moves were wrong several times over. There was the unmistakeable sound of a Floo call from downstairs, followed by cackling laughter.

All three shared a glance and drew out their wands, running to the kitchen where they found Kreacher, the disgusting House Elf, rolling on the floor, wheezing in laughter.

“ _Kreacher!_ ” shouted Sirius, “ _Stand up!_ ” The creature did as bid, still shaking with elation. “Explain yourself! Why are you laughing?”

“Potter…” a wheeze. “He called Kreacher, yes, he did… Wondered where Blood-Traitor Sirius was…” another wheeze. “Kreacher lied, he did.”

Remus and Selene shared a worried glance as well, just as Sirius raised his hand to strike the Elf. “ _What did you tell him?!_ ”

Selene stopped him by catching his wrist, and turned to the abhorrent servant. Once upon a time, he’d liked her because of her connection to Regulus. She tried to appeal to that side of him when she asked “Kreacher, please tell us exactly what happened.”

Two beady eyes glared at her, but after a time, he did as asked. “The young Potter called, he did. Asked if Master Black was there. Kreacher said he wasn’t.”

“Why did you lie, Kreacher?” Remus asked. Kreacher ignored him, as he often did, and answered only when Sirius repeated the question, dread now visible on all their faces.

“Mistress Narcissa asked Kreacher to, she did. Nice, faithful Mistress Narcissa.”

All three looked at each other, horrified.

The implications of what Kreacher had just done were massive.

Harry was in danger; their cover was blown; the Headquarters were not safe anymore.

“I’ll call Albus,” Remus said at once. Even though the Headmaster was on the run himself, he’d left instructions if any Order member needed to contact him urgently.

* * *

About half an hour later, Remus came back, white in the face, clutching his wand so hard the wood bent. “Harry’s gone to the Ministry. He’s had another vision.”

Selene felt herself freeze, while Sirius grabbed his wand to strode over to the door, only to be stopped by his friend.

“Sirius, don’t. You can’t put yourself in danger like this.”

Sirius pulled himself free, staring at his oldest friend, his brother, more intently than ever. “Harry is in danger, Remus. I’d do anything for that kid, just as I did anything for James. Are you going to stay here, not knowing what’s happening? Because I can’t.”

Remus looked over Sirius’s shoulder at Selene, who slowly stood for her perch on the dining table, her wand held tight as well. “Let’s go. I won’t stand by and do nothing either.”

The werewolf pursed his lips, knowing when he was defeated. He sighed a tired “Bloody Blacks…” before letting Sirius pass.

Selene steeled herself and followed.

Time to fight for what she believed in.

Time to fight for her family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a side note, this chapter was called 'alterations'. Order of the Phoenix is still a difficult novel for me to finish because of its end. I'd be damned if I didn't alter some of it! :)


	18. The victory of the pack

**_18 th June 1996. Department of Mysteries, London._ **

* * *

The decision to go to the Ministry of Magic as the sun set was swiftly made, despite the risks it comported. Remus had warned the other Order members that Harry and, most probably, his friends, would try to get inside the Department of Mysteries that very night, and had followed a crazed Sirius and an equally expectant Selene out the door.

Grimmauld Place was silent like death when they exited the house. The Apparition point near the Ministry’s official entrance was as deserted. And the Ministry itself, the Atrium, which was buzzing with life no matter the hour, was eerily vacant of anyone. Even the night guard, supposed to interrogate any late visitor, was not at his post.

Selene gripped her wand tighter, turning to her companions. “Something is _very_ wrong here.”

Remus nodded, tight-lipped. “More than very wrong.”

Sirius hissed, nearly leaping towards the lifts. Selene was surprised he hadn’t turned into Padfoot to go faster. “It was a trap for Harry all along.”

But, of course, they’d known that ahead of time.

Before they reached the grates that would lead them down several levels, however, the booming voice of Kingsley stopped them. They whirled around, wand held aloft just in case, as Moody, and Tonks joined them.

“Kings,” Sirius greeted the dark-skinned wizard. “Harry’s down there, we can’t wait any longer.”

Kingsley nodded gravely. “Let’s go.” As they all stepped inside the lift, he turned to Selene, eyes veiled with worry and also determination. “Nice to see you joining our ranks, Miss Selene.”

“I’m protecting my family,” she said tightly, and she saw Moody eye her curiously, as if wondering which family she was referring to.

* * *

Despite having been a Ministry employee for years, she hadn’t been down to Level 9 ever, not even once. Its dark marble appearance was horrifyingly cold, and Selene felt a chill run up her spine even as they hurried to the door leading to the Department of Mysteries.

They found themselves in a circular room with dozens of doors. Several had flaming ‘X’ on them, as if someone had previously thought to mark them not to get lost. Moody, using his magical and disturbing eye, pointed at an unmarked door. “There,” he said, before striding straight to it and wrenching it open.

The six companions then entered a cold, chilling and dark room that looked like an amphitheatre, with an archway decorated with a torn-up veil in its centre. Selene stared at it uneasily for a second before she noticed the two boys nearby. One of them was Harry.

And, facing him and his friend, were Bellatrix and Lucius Malfoy.

And all at once, Hell broke loose.

* * *

Bellatrix whirled around, teeth baring when she eyed the two treacherous cousins who now faced her. “Oh, how quaint. Siry and little Seleney. I’m going to enjoy watching you die.”

And as Tonks Stunned Malfoy away from the two young boys, she threw a nasty curse at them, Sirius deflecting it easily with a Shield.

Selene had never been very good at Duelling, but she knew how to hold her own against Dark Spells, having been around them all her life. Disarming Macnair was much too easy; and sending a Binding Spell towards Rodolphus was laughably simple.

She’d soon decided to stick close to Sirius, knowing that his wish to get Harry to safety would make him more reckless than ever. Remus was further away, duelling Goyle with a display of power that made her breathless, until a drawling voice rose behind her.

“ _Sister_. Of course. I should have known.”

She whirled around, facing Aurus with a decided look on her face. Straightening up, she ‘greeted’ him with an ice-cold “Hello, Aurus.”

“So, you finally show your hand…” He looked vicious, mad, and cruel. An ever more twisted version of the person he’d always been, in fact.

She grinned malevolently. “Yes, I finally show my hand. Hello, brother. My name is Selene Selwyn, and I’m a member of Order of the Phoenix. _Bye!_ ” With those words – not entirely true but she felt them ring true enough – she sent him a jinx powerful enough to send him flying several meters away, where he knocked himself unconscious.

“Well done S!”

Turning around fast enough to get herself whiplash, she went back to surveying Sirius. He’d gone a bit further away from her, and had secured Harry behind him as he sent curse after curse towards Lucius Malfoy.

Not far, Bellatrix was duelling Tonks, eyeing her cousin with a cruel look in her eyes. She was looking for an in.

Selene took a pace forward, but the sound of rock splitting open at her feet made her aware of a curse that had just missed her.

When she looked to the left, she found herself face-to-face with Antonin Dolohov.

His dark eyes were strained on her, his lips downturned in disgust as he pointed his wand at her. She only had the time to silently summon a Shield before his curse struck it, making her stumble back a bit.

“Selene, I’m so disappointed…” he drawled, making her skin crawl. “I felt like you and I had a connection…”

“You were mistaken, _snake_ ,” she spat, jinxing him back while still eyeing Bellatrix out the corner of her eye.

“Don’t worry,” Dolohov added, a terrifying smirk on his face now, “When this is over, I’ll have you all to myself…”

Selene wanted to scream, to kill him, to rip him open, but to her right, Tonks had let out a yelp as she was knocked unconscious by Bellatrix who immediately turned towards where Sirius and Harry were still duelling Malfoy. The blonde wizard was knocked back by another spell, and Sirius had the presence of mind to turn towards his crazy cousin to stop her Killing Curse.

“This will be easy,” Dolohov continued, sensing her distraction. Selene turned back to him, torn between protecting herself and protecting her cousin, but she was saved from the trouble when Remus jumped in-between the Death Eater and her, engaging him in a fierce Duel.

But time paused when the door to the room slammed open, revealing a raging Albus Dumbledore. He sped past Harry and his bleeding friend, and jumped into action, blasting Crabbe to the wall where he crashed ominously.

All Death Eaters stopped fighting, stunned by the appearance of the old wizard. Even Dolohov paled, probably thinking himself doomed. Nearby, Aurus stirred back to consciousness, a look of terror painting itself on his face when he saw the Headmaster standing above him.

In fact, only Sirius and Bellatrix were oblivious to what was happening around them, and Sirius was ducking each of the witch’s spells as if dancing, unable to try a jinx of his own, but taunting her all the same.

Selene felt sick, knowing that, if they carried on like this, Sirius would tire and drop his guard.

She was right when, a second later, Sirius raised his arm to counter a spell and Bellatrix faked it, pointing her wand right at his chest. As if in slow motion, she raised her own wand to pointed it at her true brother, and sent a tripping spell at his legs.

Bellatrix’ curse whooshed over his head as he tumbled to the cold ground, and she whirled around to face Selene, hatred on her lips that turned into terror when she saw Dumbledore.

In a whirl of dark robes, she escaped the room, no Order member able to stop her.

Harry, somewhere to Selene’s left, jumped to his feet, and ignored his friend’s plea to stop as he went after the witch, yelling ‘She tried to kill Sirius!’ as he ran away.

Dumbledore hurried behind the boy, barking a quick ‘Take their wands and arrest them’ to Kingsley and a slightly concussed Moody before exiting the room as well.

Selene panted, dropping to her knees as adrenaline left her system. Sirius stumbled to her and dropped next to her, his arm going around her shoulders. “Thanks, S.”

She placed her head upon his shoulder, watching Remus tend to Harry’s friend, relieved that they’d made it out alive. In a shuddering breath that turned into a sob, she said “Always, brother, always.”

* * *

The next few hours were blurry for Selene. She faintly noticed Ministry officials storming the place, arresting the Death Eaters who hadn’t managed to escape; and a couple Healers from Saint Mungo’s come to tend to Harry’s friends, who’d suffered various injuries and curses.

She hadn’t left Sirius’s side ever since the Battle. As if afraid he’d slip through her fingers, she clung to him and to Remus once he joined them, whimpering when one or the other tried to get away.

Until, at long last, exhaustion took her, and she fell asleep on Remus’s shoulder, hand gripping Sirius’s as tightly as she could. She wasn’t plagued with nightmares, thankfully, but when she woke a few hours later, in a bed that suspiciously felt like hers, her first thought was that she had lost them both, and she bolted awake, crying out.

Noticing three things at once: she was in her Dorset home; Minty had been dozing off on a chair; and Sirius and Remus were both with her. They were all three still clothed, Remus having taken the bed with her while Sirius was on the floor, his hand near where hers had been moments prior.

Both men woke as well, startled by her call.

“Sel?” Remus asked, voice still laced with fatigue. Sirius rubbed at his eyes, and sat up as well while she blindly reached for him.

“Sorry,” she said slowly while Minty touched her foot to lend a bit of peace to her tense bones. “I just… I thought you were gone.”

Sirius sat on the bed then, embracing her once more. “Hey, S, I’m here. We both are. You haven’t lost us.”

Remus took her free hand, and they all waited until her heart had settled.

“I’m such an idiot,” she muttered then. “Reacting like this.”

“Nothing to be sorry for. It was scary as Hell out there,” Sirius said before standing up again, turning to the small Elf. “Hey, Minty, mind if I help you with breakfast? I’m starving!”

“No problem, Master Sirius.”

They left Selene and Remus alone, but seeing her cousin leave with her trusted House Elf helped her remain calm.

Instead, she turned into Remus’s arms, burying her face in his chest. “I was so scared Remus…”

“I was too.” He kissed the top of her head, and they waited a bit more before heading downstairs themselves.

* * *

**_19 th June 1996. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

After managing to put some food in her, and reasoning that both Remus and Sirius were alive and safe, Selene asked for details about what had happened after what had been dubbed as the Battle of the Department of Mysteries.

Harry had run off after Bellatrix, bent on making her pay for torturing his friend Neville and almost killing his godfather. He’d caught up with her, but so had Voldemort himself. He’d appeared in the Ministry Atrium and had possessed the young boy until some mysterious force made him leave his body and face Dumbledore instead.

In the end, Voldemort fled, but not before being spotted by Minister Fudge and other officials who had finally decided to come and see what was happening.

Harry’s friends, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville and a girl called Luna had all been tended to after receiving different injuries cause either by what was kept in the Department or by curses sent, in one case, by goddamned Antonin Dolohov. Moody and Tonks had also been injured, but tended back to health by Madam Pomfrey.

Dolohov who, along with Aurus, Lucius Malfoy and eight other Death Eaters, had been sent to Azkaban. Bellatrix alone had escaped, but the blow dealt to the Dark Lord’s side had been painful.

Selene heard something about a prophecy, but she wasn’t interested in Divination, and preferred to bask in the knowledge that her brother and bloody suitor were both behind bars, tortured into insanity by Dementors. At least, with a little luck.

They’d only just begun talking about what was going to happen in the future when a flame burst into the air, dropping a letter and a single phoenix feather onto the dining table.

Selene was briefly affronted at the almost scorch mark on the wood, but Sirius snatched the letter and feather before she could voice her annoyance.

“It’s Albus. He wants to see us at Hogwarts.”

“All three of us?” Remus asked, a bit puzzled.

“Yup.” Sirius looked at his cousin, worry in his eyes. “Will you be okay?”

She crossed her arms immediately. “Sirius Orion Black, I was in shock, I have not suddenly turned impotent!”

He chuckled. “Yeah, you’re alright.”

Rolling her eyes, she thanked Minty for breakfast, and went upstairs to refresh herself before heading North.

* * *

Hogwarts didn’t appear much concerned by what had been happening the night before. All the students were enjoying the end of their exams and the sacking of Dolores Umbridge. If a few of them stopped to watch the three adults head towards the Headmaster’s office, they didn’t voice their thoughts loud enough for Selene to know what the fuss was about.

It was weird to come back here after so long, especially after such an adventure. While Sirius looked happy enough and Remus indifferent, Selene was watching every portrait and every suit of armour as if she’d forgotten what they looked like.

After uttering the password – “Fizwizbiz” – to the Eagle gargoyle, they all found themselves in Dumbledore’s office, the warmth of the room a stark contrast to the atmosphere. Minerva McGonagall, the Transfiguration teacher, was present, as well as Kingsley Shacklebolt.

Sirius grinned madly. “Minnie!” and he ran to McGonagall, kissing her loudly on both cheeks. The older woman scolded him, but with less force than what she’d have done when he was still her student.

The Headmaster stood. “Sirius, Remus, Selene, welcome, and thank you for coming. Please, sit down. I’ve asked for tea to be brought up.”

Selene supposed that ‘tea’ meant that the reason for their coming wasn’t grave per se.

Kingsley smiled at her and pulled her chair out for her, which she appreciated and nodded at.

“My friends,” Dumbledore continued, “thank you for coming to Harry’s aid yesternight. If you hadn’t been there, the outcome would have been much darker.” Selene paled. She didn’t want to think about the possible outcome anymore. “That being said, the aftermath of this…Battle, comes with good news.”

McGonagall smiled a bit, the sight unsettling for people who were used to her stoic countenance.

“Sirius,” Kingsley said with a grin, “the Minister had _finally_ listened to reason. All charges against you have been dropped, both those of fifteen years ago and those imagined by Fudge this past year…”

Sirius’s grey eyes widened. “I’m…free?”

Dumbledore nodded, a smile gracing his own lips. “Indeed you are, my friend. Welcome back to the world of the living!”

Sirius huffed joyfully, downing his cup of tea in one go. “Don’t you have anything stronger, Albus? I must celebrate!”

“I’m sure you will later, and please, pour one for me.” He winked, before his expression turned graver. “However, I must ask of you not to go back to Grimmauld Place. Kreacher’s…betrayal, made the place unsafe despite the Fidelius. We cannot take chances.”

Sirius shrugged. “Honestly, Albus, I had no intention to go back to that place ever again…”

“Good.” A sigh. “Alas, that also means that we are one safehouse short.”

* * *

Remus’s brow furrowed. “Haven’t you moved Headquarters to the Burrow?”

Selene didn’t know what or where ‘the Burrow’ was, but it apparently was a better choice than Grimmauld Place for Headquarters.

Dumbledore pursed his lips. “I have considered it, but I am not certain it is the best choice. Besides, I do not wish to put Molly and Arthur in danger any more than they already are…”

Ah. ‘The Burrow’ must have been the Weasley residence.

“What will we require, Albus?” asked McGonagall, solemn once again.

“A place easily concealed, that very few people will know the existence of. We’ll place another Fidelius on it, of course. And big enough to host all of us at once, and lodge some of us if needs be…”

Selene had slowly crossed her arms, knowing exactly what the Headmaster was getting at. At long last, she sighed. “Alright, just say it as it is, Professor: you’d want to use my house.”

He met her gaze, his lips twitching in a mock smile. “To be perfectly honest with you, Miss Selene, I hadn’t even thought about it.”

She doubted he was telling the truth, but humoured him. “My house is remote enough, already heavily warded. The only four people who know where it is are in this room; and I’ve got five guest bedrooms, counting Sirius’s. _However_ ,” she added, sensing that someone was going to offer her house as Headquarters and take her freedom away from her again, “I don’t want you to be Secret Keeper, Headmaster.”

Dumbledore appeared displeased for a second. “We cannot risk you being captured, Miss Selene-“

“I was not going to suggest myself either.” She smirked, before calling a clear “ _Minty!_ ”

The small House Elf popped into the office, startled at her surroundings and the people in presence before she turned to her Mistress. “Yes, Mistress, what can Minty do for you?”

“Minty, this is Professor Dumbledore.” Comically, the creature’s blue eyes turned murderous at once. “He would like our home to become the Order of the Phoenix Headquarters. I would like your opinion on the matter.”

Sirius chuckled softly, and even Remus was hiding a bout of laughter.

Minty glared at the older wizard, and said, more severe than ever, “Professor Dumbledore wants my Mistress’s home to belong to his Order? Minty does not trust someone who kidnapped her Mistress so rudely!”

“True, Minty,” Selene said, ignoring the curious and amused glances around her, “however, I’d be willing to do this to help in the war against Mister Aurus and his friends. You agree with that, don’t you?” Minty nodded, grave. “Then I’d like you to be our Secret Keeper. I trust you to never tell anyone you don’t like about our house’s whereabouts.”

“Albus, is it even possible to cast a Fidelius with a House-Elf?” McGonagall asked.

“It is,” the Headmaster said, staring at the tiny being. “And Minty appears quite different from all other House-Elves I’ve met, safe perhaps one. Minty,” he asked her directly then, “am I correct in assuming that you are sworn to Miss Selwyn alone?”

“Minty is sworn to Mistress Selene. And Minty has decided to obey Masters Sirius and Remus also.” She crossed her tiny arms, and Kingsley laughed, turning away to hide it.

At long last, Dumbledore seemed appeased. “Right. I will consider your offer. Thank you Minty. And thank you, Selene.” Said witch looked back at him, surprised at his friendly tone. “One last thing, then. After what happened last night, it comes without saying that I believe you do not hold any of your previous…circle members in your heart. After thinking hard about it, I have therefore decided to offer you a seat in the Order. If you wish to join officially.”

Selene stared, arms getting loose, hands reaching for Remus and Sirius.

An Order member? Her? Selene Selwyn?

Oh, her father must be thrashing about in his grave…

* * *

**_25 th June 1996. Dorset._ **

* * *

It took a few days for the Order to get organized. And for Minty to decide that she agreed to host a group of insurgents in the house she so carefully took care of.

Dumbledore and the other Order members – minus a few – had all Apparated a few miles away from the house, as had been agreed up front. Selene, Sirius, Remus and Kingsley were prepared to forget all about the location as soon as the Fidelius Charm was cast, which was strange in itself, but necessary.

Minty became the Order’s new Secret Keeper in a matter of minutes, a glow of golden magic rising above her as the Headmaster waved his wand around her. As soon as it was done, she turned to her Mistress.

Selene took the proffered hand of her House Elf who pulled her aside from the group. The witch felt weird, as if there was a gap in her memory where her place of living was supposed to be. She knew she had a home, she also felt like she should know what it looked like, but couldn’t pinpoint it. It was most disturbing.

“Mistress Selene, read this,” Minty said, offering her a piece of paper. In Selene’s own handwriting was noted ‘The Order of the Phoenix Headquarters lies in Moon Manor, Charmouth, Dorset, England’.

As soon as she’d read those words, a wave of magic overtook her, and the gap in her mind was suddenly filled with the precise knowledge of where the house lay and what its appearance was.

“Thank you, Minty,” she said, walking a bit further to wait for the others.

Remus and Sirius were next, as they were the people Minty trusted the most. After a few moments, she agreed to add Kingsley to the group of trusted few. After that, well…it turned a bit amusing.

The tiny House Elf decided that she wanted a word with every other Order member, to choose for herself if they were trustworthy or not. Tonks was first, unsurprisingly; then came Arthur and, after a bit more while, Molly; their son Bill took only a glance and a ‘Hello!’; and Emmeline Vance and Hestia Jones were sent in soon after.

In fact, the only person that Minty took her sweet time assessing was Mad-Eye Moody. And he wasn’t pleased. Apparently, Minty told him that she felt free to rescind his invite if he ever behaved badly.

And, as had been expected by the three humans who knew her best, she categorically refused to let Mundungus and Dumbledore in. If the first was to be expected – he was the least trustworthy ever – the second was in clear retaliation of her Mistress’s treatment back in Autumn.

Dumbledore smiled, and said he understood. He left, probably expecting Minty to change her mind in the future. Apparently, knowing his allies had a safe place to stay low at was enough for him, and he went back to his school for the end of the year celebrations.

* * *

Selene, Sirius and Remus then became guides to their ‘colleagues’ as they walked up to the house – which had been dubbed ‘Moon Manor’ by general consensus – and saw it appear amidst the Fidelius and the various wards that had been replaced around it.

Tonks whistled. “Wow. It’s lovely!”

“Thank you,” Minty said before popping out of existence, probably to go prepare tea for the company.

Sirius chuckled. “That House Elf will never cease to amaze me.”

Selene smiled a little herself before showing her guests inside. Given the new nature of the protective charms around the place, they’d all be using the front door, something that hadn’t been done in quite a while.

She showed them the sitting-room, the dining-room that would most probably be used as a meeting-room, the kitchen and the study, as well as the back garden. Then, they headed upstairs, to visit the guest bedrooms and three bathrooms.

“My bedroom is the first on the left,” Selene said when they go up on the first-floor landing. “Sirius’s is the last on the right. All the other rooms are free for you to choose whenever you visit. If you decide to leave any personal belongings, please tell Minty ahead of time so that nothing gets misplaced.”

Tonks pushed her way forward, peeking into one room and whistling again before turning back to the house’s owner and the werewolf standing next to her. “And which one is Remus’s? So that we know not to barge in?”

Selene felt jealousy rise in her again, and felt Remus’s laughter even though he kept it silent. Unable to keep appearances anymore, she grabbed his hand and linked their fingers, feeling rather smug when she saw the younger witch’s smile fade. “Remus’s room is my room.”

And that put an end to it.

All things considered, Selene quite liked being a bossy bitch.

* * *

That evening, as most Order members left to go back to their own homes – except Hestia and Kingsley, who were on ‘duty’ that night – Selene enjoyed a bit of quiet in the sitting-room. Remus had gone with the others to check the strength of the wards, and she was alone with Sirius, who was staring at the Potters’ wedding photograph, a small nostalgic smile on his face.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked her cousin, still marvelling at the fact that he had almost died and she’d have lost him forever.

He looked at her, grey eyes glistening with something akin to joy. “I’m thinking that I’d like Harry to spend part of the summer here, if you’re okay with it.”

She smiled fondly too. “Of course. I’m not going to separate you from your godson for too long.”

“Thanks.” He went back to his silent appraisal of the photograph, and sighed wistfully. “Good times, eh?”

“The best and happiest day of my life,” she answered in the same kind of sigh. They fell silent, both lost into memories, although very different ones.

Selene had felt rather powerless during and after the Battle of the Department of Mysteries. She wasn’t an Auror, and had been able to survive only because she was decent with silent spells and had good reflexes. She couldn’t leave anything to chance in the war to come, especially now that she had revealed her hand and would have a prize on her head.

After a long moment, she chose to ask “Sirius, would you do something for me?”

He turned to her again, curious now. “What?”

She pursed her lips, serious as ever. “Will you teach me how to become an Animagus?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, happy? :P


	19. The Battle of Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deep breaths. Deep breaths.  
> Breathe in.  
> Breathe out.  
> Prepare a blanket.  
> Check your pulse.  
> Ready?  
> Well...enjoy?

**_2 nd May 1998. Hogwarts._ **

* * *

This night was by far the scariest of all of Selene’s life.

She, along with the rest of the Order of the Phoenix and then some, had been alerted to Harry’s presence in Hogwarts by former students. The few who had been staying at Moon Manor had warned the others, even those who’d been on the run, and they had all gathered at the Hog’s Head in Hogsmeade.

The past two years had been crazy. The War that raged between Voldemort’s forces and the Order was fierce and cruel, and their losses had already been considerable. Even if Selene had never liked him, losing Dumbledore had been a horribly heavy blow. Moody also.

And then, Harry had gone into hiding. Sirius had lost his mind, searching high and low for his godson, to bring him to the safety of Headquarters. At one point, he caught up with him, but so had Snatchers, and Remus and Selene had barely been able to save him from an arrest that would no doubt have led him to Malfoy Manor and his dreaded cousins.

Aurus had broken out of Azkaban. So had Lucius, Dolohov and all those who had been there in the Ministry. Aurus had apparently made it his life purpose to hunt his sister down to kill her in the most painful way, but he had always been more words than actions, and had gained a limp from one of his curses that had backfired, to Selene’s pleasure.

Seeing Hogwarts under attack was more frightening than anything else she’d ever seen, but this time, she was more ready than ever.

With her men by her side, she felt invincible.

* * *

Remus, Tonks and Arthur had chosen to guard the battlements near the Astronomy Tower, knowing it was a weaker point in the fortress that the school was, while Sirius and Selene chose to fight on solid ground, on the Quidditch pit. Broomsticks whizzed about, their side’s flyers being led by one Oliver Wood, who was a famed Quidditch player, and a force to be reckoned with.

Selene’s new-ish abilities as an Animagus surprised their foes to their advantage. They’d get close enough to jinx her or Sirius; they’d both shift appearances, providing them with an opening when the Death Eater stopped in their advance, stunned into frightful surprise.

It was near midnight when they were overcome. Giants, spiders and Dementors were storming the grounds, pushing the fighters back into the castle for protection.

Selene caught Sirius’s arm once they were inside the North Wing, pulling him away from students and Order member coming into the fray as well. “We need to find Remus,” she said urgently, feeling the need to be reunited with him now rather than later.

Her cousin nodded gravely. “Yeah,” he said, assessing where they were. “Come on, I know a shortcut.” His time as a Marauder had decidedly engraved the layout of the school inside each of its elite members, because he wove around duels and crumbling walls, avoiding any skirmish they could until they found themselves at the foot of the Astronomy Tower, not far from where Remus was holding his own.

Selene had climbed two steps when an ominous “ _Sister_!” rose behind her, making her freeze.

When she turned around, she saw the person she once feared more than the Dark Lord himself, a dark cloak around himself as he lowered the hood and revealed a gaunt face with dark circles under his eyes. “Aurus,” she countered icily, climbing back down to put herself next to Sirius.

“ _Finally_ ,” her Death Eater relative drawled, baring his teeth as if he’d be scarier. “I can take you and your _precious_ Sirius down in one clean sweep. Both of the stains on our family tree, gone for good.”

His gaze was maniacal as he raised his wand, pointing it between the two of them, as if unsure where to start.

Sirius gently pushed Selene back despite her loud disagreement, and he raised his own wand calmly, as though this was a normal day and he wasn’t being threatened within an inch of his life.

“Aw, how lovely,” Aurus taunted again as the ground shook, another part of the castle being blasted somewhere nearby, “you volunteer to go first.”

“You will _not_ touch her, Aurus,” Sirius said, and Selene had never heard so much venom in his voice before. “You will not touch her, and you’ll leave her alone.”

“Think you can stop me, Blood-Traitor?”

Sirius tilted his head to the side, reminiscent of Padfoot, and he said, calm and poised, “Yes, I think so.” And he launched the first curse towards his cousin, who only had half a second to raise his Shield.

The strength of Sirius’s casting, however, sent him back a few paces, and he stumbled because of his limp. Selene stood there, frozen but unable to do anything else but look, as Sirius advanced on Aurus, implacable.

“Don’t-don’t come any cl-closer, freak!” Aurus said, voice breaking either because of the pain of his fall or the fear that had suddenly appeared in his eyes.

Sirius stopped a few feet away, nothing but calm coming off of him. “If you try anything, Aurus, you’ll pay it with your life.”

But the Death Eater didn’t listen. He raised his wand shakily and cast an ‘ _Avada Kedavra’_ that made Selene yelp in fear. But Sirius was swift, a true Duellist, and his Shield raised, making the green bolt of light bounce off it, and back at its caster.

Next thing she knew, the man who had been her brother in blood was lying dead on the cold floor, eyes forever frozen in terror.

Sirius had killed him.

* * *

In the end, it was Remus who found them first. Part of the Astronomy Tower had fallen down, and Arthur and him met them halfway down the stairs, covered in dust and soot. He shared a quick embrace with Selene then Sirius, when Voldemort’s voice rose from the very walls for the second time that night.

He called for a truce. For an hour. To gather their dead and their injured, and bait Harry outside, to meet him and his Fate.

Sirius, a murderous look back in his eyes, ran away towards Merlin-knew-where to try and find his godson, before either his friend or his cousin could stop him.

Selene looked at Remus, tears drying on her cheeks. “We should go downstairs.”

He nodded, but didn’t move. “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “Sirius killed Aurus.”

The werewolf stared blankly at her, before the amber in his eyes ate the green away and he said, severe and cold, “Good.”

Their descent towards the Great Hall was a descent into absolute chaos. The castle had been blasted open in so many places that it was a miracle it still stood. Students, teachers, fighters were all covered in dust and blood, sometimes theirs, sometimes not. More often than not, they crossed path with a few youngsters, far too young to have seen battle, hunched over, sobbing in fear and pain.

But the Great Hall was far worse.

Their side had gathered there all the more gravely injured for Madam Pomfrey to tend to, and, in the little side room near the teacher’s table – which had been blasted into smithereens – had been lain down those who had fallen.

Remus stopped Selene when they’d reached the middle of the room, her eyes darting from side to side to try and locate Sirius or Harry. He had caught sight of a group of red-heads near the back door. What their presence meant wasn’t good. At all.

They both weaved their way through the crowd, until they reached where Bill was standing, his wife Fleur sobbing openly in his arms, his eyes filled with tears that had already fallen in dirty tracks over his scarred face.

One look at Remus’s terrified face, and the young wizard said “It’s Fred.”

Remus’s eyes widened and filled with immediate tears as he entered the small room to go to Arthur and Molly. Selene followed, gasping for air. Fred. He was so young!

Her own eyes filled with unwanted tears when she saw Molly Weasley and her son George wailing over a too pale and too still body. She looked elsewhere, feeling like she was intruding and also needing to see something else that wouldn’t shatter her heart to pieces.

Instead, her eyes fell on Tonks.

She’d been put near Fred, her mouth open in a silent surprise, her eyes closed. Her stillness left little to imagination when it came to whether she lived or not, and Selene found herself approaching her dead cousin. Tonks, who’d always been so joyful and excited. Who’d been brave, braver than most her peers.

A silhouette joined her in her quiet vigil, and she recognized Kingsley’s voice when he sighed. “I saw it happen.”

“How? Who?” Selene croaked, suddenly overcome.

“Bellatrix” was the only explanation he gave.

A red mist waved over her at that, a rage she had never known before cursing through her veins and making her glare at the wall, hands closing into fists, her magic leaping to her wand for release.

Bellatrix. She was going to _kill_ her.

* * *

The one-hour armistice ticked by slowly, far too slowly for a night like this, amongst cries and whimpers of pain. After a while, Selene had moved away from Tonks’s body to go back to Remus’s embrace, and to offer her condolences to the Weasleys.

Ron, the youngest son, had appeared from Merlin-knew-where, covered in soot, his clothes singed in several places, hand in hand with Hermione, and threw himself at his brother’s corpse, wailing in pain as his sister went to hug the brown-haired witch.

In silence, they wept and grieved, until, at one point, Selene whispered “Where’s Sirius?” and Remus looked down at her, as if puzzled she’d ask.

“He’s looking for Harry, no doubt.”

She looked at Hermione, her brown eyes filled with tears, but she couldn’t wait any longer. “Hermione?” she murmured so as to not disturb the family’s pain. “Were you with Harry just now?”

She nodded, a bit wide-eyed. Selene wondered what they’d seen, what they’d been through since the Battle had begun. She dared not ask.

“Have you seen Sirius?”

Hermione shook her head then. “No, he wasn’t with us when we came back from- When we came back.”

Dread pooled in Selene’s stomach. She shared a glance with Remus, and quietly ran off. She had a bad feeling about this…

* * *

In the absence of the Marauder’s Map, they couldn’t track their friend effectively enough in the grounds. Salazar knew where he’d headed when he’d gone after Harry, if he hadn’t found him.

“Where would he have gone?” she asked the cracked walls, despairing.

Remus seemed to think hard as well. “Gryffindor Tower?”

“Would Harry have gone there to rest?”

“Perhaps. Or to seek peace.”

Selene nodded. That sounded like a Harry thing to do. They both started towards the staircase, but had to take a separate route when part of it appeared unpracticable. She knew the vague location of the Tower’s entrance, but hadn’t known for sure that it was a portrait. Its occupant had left it vacant, and the frame had been forced open, a gaping hole in the wall showing part of the common room within.

Tentatively, Selene and Remus entered, expecting anything. Here also, part of the roof had given in, tiles and stones shattered around the place as a lone figure was sitting on a dusty couch, his head in his hands.

“ _Sirius!_ ” Selene said, relief flooding through her as she ran to her cousin. Without a word, he drew her into a hug as Remus joined them, placing a soothing hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Are you alright?”

The Black wizard shook his head, sniffing a sob away. “I can’t find Harry. _I failed._ I couldn’t protect him. _I failed James!_ ”

Remus sighed and fell to his knees in front of his oldest friend, gently drawing him out of Selene’s embrace. His green eyes stared hard into the grey ones of Sirius, and he said, truth lacing his every breath, “You have _never_ failed James. Harry is here, somewhere, and he’ll be alright.”

“He won’t be alright until that _madman_ is dead.”

“Then we’ll kill him,” Selene blurted out, as if that was an easy feat at all. She considered her words then, and added “All of us, we’ll defeat _Voldemort_ , and Harry will be safe.”

It was the first time she uttered the man’s name out loud. Even without the Taboo in place, she had never had the courage to form the word. That alone made Sirius look a little less lost, and he clasped Remus’s arms as he said “Okay, give me a moment.”

Selene wrapped her own arm around his waist and agreed with a “Let’s _all_ take a moment. We need it.”

* * *

The moment turned into several minutes of relative calm before the storm. Only the wind howling through the broken walls disturbed the trio’s quiet peace, until they decided to join the others, to organize their remaining forces for the end of the truce.

Selene and Remus held hands as they climbed back down, but as they reached the ground floor, a scream of incredible magnitude shook them to the core, and they lifted their wands, running down the rest of the way to find Minerva McGonagall standing at the Front Door.

If she had been the one producing that heart-wrenching sound, there was little doubt as to why: as more and more people exited the castle into the courtyard, Selene understood what had happened at once.

After all, it was hard to miss Hagrid the groundkeeper’s enormous silhouette lit by fires, the slenderer form of a seventeen-year-old boy in his arms.

“ _HARRY!_ ” If McGonagall had sounded heart-broken, Sirius sounded torn in half, his face melting under such pain that would feed a thousand Dementors forever. He pulled himself free of the crowd, as if trying to get to his godson, but Remus pulled him back. He fought it, Merlin did he fight it, until Selene silently cast a Body-Bind on him, her eyes now trailed to the crazed witch standing on the other side of the courtyard.

Bellatrix.

More and more disbelieving yells of pain and fear erupted from their fighters, until a dark-robed wizard who looked too pale and with red slits for eyes bellowed ‘Silence!’ and everyone was effectively _Silenced_ with magic.

Voldemort – for it was him, for all to see, not an abstract being anymore – laughed at them, taunted them and mocked the dead boy that had been placed at his feet – like the vanquished relic of a much holier war. He told them that Harry had been killed while trying to flee like the coward he was.

Ron, nearby, broke free of the enchantment to yell back that Harry had always been braver than anyone else present that night. Many more voices rose to give their assent, until another bang _Silenced_ them all again.

Voldemort offered them a place at his side. Or, at least, the Purebloods among them. His eyes trailed over the Weasleys, over her, over Sirius, and Bellatrix laughed some more. Selene didn’t believe for an instant that they’d welcome her and her cousin into their midst without killing them first. Fortunately, neither did any of the people standing at her side.

At long last, when young Neville Longbottom showed himself to be more courageous than most adults here, it became certain that despite Harry’s demise, this was not the end. Selene grabbed Remus’s hand and they shared a loving glance, as if saying goodbye.

When Neville was forced to his knees, the Sorting Hat blazing on his head, Selene gritted her teeth and decided. She’d take out Bellatrix first. Then they’d turn to the rest of them. They could do it.

In the end, she didn’t need to engage first. The roaring sound of hundreds of hooves and of a giant entering the fray was all they needed.

When the centaurs took the Death Eaters from behind, their bows drawn and war paint on their torsos and robes, war cries rose from their ranks, and the Battle began anew.

* * *

Selene fended off several Death Eaters in the chaos that ensued. The centaurs were far less magnanimous than they had been: they hit to kill, not merely to incapacitate. After a while, and because Voldemort had entered the castle in search for Harry – when had his body disappeared and what did it mean? – some even began to flee, chased through the park by the Forbidden Forest’s creatures they’d sullied the land of.

Bellatrix, crazed, her wand in one hand and a knife in the other, was yelling at the running cowards, snarling and promising them pain when she found them.

Selene pursed her lips, shared a glance with Sirius, who stood by her side as always, and they nodded at each other before moving to confront this stain in their family tree.

“Bellatrix,” they said in unison, making the brown-haired madwoman whirl around towards them, her dark eyes widening in surprise, a smirk joining it as she taunted them.

“Cousins. Come to avenge little Nymphadora?” she pouted before laughing out loud once more. “She was so _pathetic_ , like her dear Daddy.”

Sirius growled, sending a jinx towards her, Selene mirroring him at once.

Bellatrix was an extraordinarily good Duellist. Perhaps it was because she was so completely mad, but she had no trouble _Shielding_ herself from their synchronized assaults, even going as far as to throw some curses of her own their way.

They danced like this for a long time, the rest of the fight slowly moving inside the castle while they and a couple other fighters remained in the courtyard. Sirius and Selene threw their jinxes at Bellatrix who sent them bouncing back towards walls or thin air, cackling like a patient in the Psychiatric Ward at Saint Mungo’s.

At one point, she blasted them away from her, and tilted her head to the side. “Alright, I’m bored now.”

She _Avadaed_ Selene before turning her wand to Sirius so swiftly the former barely had enough time to jump to the side to avoid the ray of green. She tumbled to the stone ground, hitting her knees as Sirius _Shielded_ himself at the last second.

Bellatrix now concentrated her efforts on Sirius, apparently thinking that Selene was out of the picture. She advanced on her cousin, sending curse after curse, and Sirius winced under her powerful assaults.

Selene rose to her feet, blood dripping on the ground and giving her the strength to raise her arm once more. She didn’t think. She wanted that woman out of her life. She wanted her to never be into existence anymore.

She aimed at Bellatrix’s back, and said, meaning every syllable of it, “ _Crucio_.”

Bellatrix yelled in pain, now, and fell to the ground, writhing in what was most probably the worst suffering possible. Selene walked towards her, her wand still trailed on her despised relative, not dropping the curse until she was standing above her.

Sirius joined her, panting in exhaustion, and they shared another glance. “Together?” he asked.

Selene nodded. “Always, brother.”

She lifted the _Cruciatus_ , and let Bellatrix gather her surroundings enough to stare up at them in fear, now; then, she and Sirius pointed their wands into her chest, and a bolt of green later, Bellatrix Lestrange was no more.

* * *

They hurried inside after that, because it all wasn’t over. Sirius went ahead of Selene who, unlike him, recognized the dark drawling voice of one particular Death Eater who was fighting someone in the opposite direction.

She turned the corner of the corridor, and her eyes widened.

Antonin Dolohov was facing Remus, and was making him back away further and further away under the onslaught on his curses.

The Dark Wizard was hissing, his voice echoing off the remaining walls. “You took her from me, creature! You sullied her, you _spoilt_ her!”

Each venomous word was punctuated with a jinx, and each time, Remus stared dead on, adamant not to appear fearful despite the exhaustion taking him as swiftly as if the Full Moon had been the night prior.

Remus was going to fall.

Selene felt rage overcome her once more.

She started running, not minding the blood dripping from her knees as she yelled ‘ _Antonin!_ ’.

She had never used his first-name, and that made the Death Eater turn, surprise painted on his abhorrent face. Said surprise grew into unadulterated fear when she shifted into her Animagus form mid-run, leaping through her skin to jump on him.

The massive mountain dog, fur as brown as Selene’s hair, howled and growled before sinking its teeth into Dolohov’s proffered throat.

As he gurgled the last of his life away, the dog moved back, and Selene replaced it, wiping at the man’s blood that covered her chin. She spat at the dying man, and hissed “Nobody takes my pack away from me. _Nobody_.”

Dolohov died, and Selene looked over at Remus.

Behind her, clamours of victory rose, and the juvenile voices left little to imagination when it came to the winning side.

Unable to do little else, Selene started laughing.

It was over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helga help me this was hard to write...


	20. Epilogue: All is well...finally

_**1** _ _**st** _ _**September 2011. Platform 9 ¾. King's Cross Station.** _

* * *

Selene Lupin, née Selwyn, hadn't crossed the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10 in literally 33 years, and she had never crossed it with a tiny hand firmly attached to hers for comfort.

The gasp that joined her soft smile told her that her daughter had caught her first glimpse at the magnificent Hogwarts Express, and she let her take it all in as three more people crossed the barrier behind them, one of the three being her husband, Remus Lupin, werewolf extraordinaire and on trolley-duty.

He wrapped an arm around their girl's shoulders, sharing a smile with his wife. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

Calliope, 'Cal' as she preferred to be called, nodded sheepishly, the innocence of her eleven years showing in the stars in her green eyes.

The dark-haired grey-eyed man who joined the picture yawned loudly. "Well, off you go, pup, we've got other places to be…" Sirius Black, godfather, honorary brother and pain in the ass joked.

His goddaughter huffed, playfully slapping his arm. "Uncle Pads!"

"What?" he said innocently. "In your shoes, I couldn't wait to get on that bloody train! Why aren't you running away from us already?"

Selene rolled her eyes, linking her arm with her husband's. "You and I had a family to avoid. Cal doesn't."

Remus smiled at their daughter, and both took one of her hands to bring her forward, Sirius and his girlfriend Emmeline – yes, Vance, who else? – following with bright smiles on their own faces.

"Mum, Dad," Cal asked, turning to them to say her goodbyes, "do you think I'll be Sorted in Gryffindor or Slytherin?"

This had been a common topic for the last few weeks, and Calliope had appeared more worried about the Sorting than about anything else despite her parents and uncle/godfather's reassurance that it didn't matter.

Sirius, however, couldn't resist. "It doesn't matter, pup, but bear in mind that I will not see you again if you get into Slytherin."

Selene cursed, but Cal visibly understood that it was not to be taken seriously. She turned back to her parents, steeled herself, and said "Alright, I'm ready. I'll send you a letter when I've been Sorted. And I'll say 'hi' to Victoire for you.

The oldest Weasley offspring was attending her Second Year, and Cal and her got on like a house on fire, much to everyone's pain, sometimes. Especially the younger cousins who couldn't keep up with their intellects.

After a short embrace and some tears on Remus's part, the train started moving away, a symbol that life had gone on after the War, and the next generation was ready to take part.

As he took his wife's hand and linked their fingers together, Remus concluded with a "Ravenclaw?" that made Selene laugh.

"Yes, definitely Ravenclaw."

Well…they were wrong.

Definitely Hufflepuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here we are, folks. This is the end, the epilogue, the beginning of the rest of Selene and Remus's story...   
> First and foremost, I'd like to thank those of you who left kudos, bookmarked or reviewed this story. You, in your own way, make me feel appreciated as a writer and it's always important.  
> So thank you again, a thousand times over.  
> And thank you to Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, two characters who have inspired me day after day since 2002, the year I first read Prisoner of Azkaban.


End file.
